The Single Most Important Aspect of Networking

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office-336368_1920One of my goals for 2016 was to get out of the home office more. More = once a week.

The goal was twofold, really.

First, working from home is isolating. It’s great but sometimes I crave the interaction of colleagues, even for a few minutes.  Social isolation is a real bummer, people!

So you could say I’ve been looking for work friends.

The second – and real – goal was strategic and part of my business plan: expand my business.  New business certainly wasn’t going to simply ring my doorbell.

Attending networking events seemed to be the perfect solution for both.

I’ve been at this almost a year now, even longer for some networking groups.

What have I learned about networking?

  • Have a Plan. Establish your goals before attending a networking group or event. Do you want to make new business contacts in the hopes of obtaining new clients? Is your intention to learn new skills by interacting with people in your industry? Are you interested in meeting with like-minded professionals while giving back to the community?  There is a networking group available that will meet your criteria, as long as you know your goals.
  • Presentation is Important. Take ownership of yourself, including dressing for success. Yes, people will judge you in the first ten seconds they meet you. It’s time to present yourself as if you are interviewing for a job, even have your elevator speech ready in order to tell others what you do and who is your ideal client.
  • There’s an Initiation Period. Not with hazing or rituals, but true membership takes time.  Like any group, friendships form and as a newcomer you are not yet part of any inner circles.  You can get there; it takes a while.  Give up too soon and you’ll always be in search mode.
  • Groups are Fluid. Don’t judge the group by only one visit. People come and go; not all members attend each meeting. If the group meets weekly, attend for three to four weeks to get an idea of who attends as well as the dynamics of the group.
  • Mingle! It’s tempting to sit with the one person you met and feel comfortable around but that’s not the point. The goal is to cast a wide net and meet as many people as possible each time you attend.
  • Know When it’s Not Working.  If, after multiple visits over several months, you are not achieving your goals, it might be time to consider another networking group.  If your goal is to gain prospects yet after six months of regular meetings all you’ve gained is five pounds from the food, this may not be the right group for you. Then again if you’re a foodie, it may be okay.  It’s all about goals and expectations, and marrying the two with the right group.

All of these are important. Yet the The Single Most Important Aspect of Networking is this:

  • Do you help others in the group? Do you bring them what they need, be it new clients, suggestions, or assistance when they ask?  This will help you above and beyond anything else in building your network and getting others to help you.

Networking is something you have to schedule; it must be part of your business plan. It’s strategic and you have to work at it.

Anything less is just socializing.

4 Do’s for Successful Networking ….And 1 Don’t

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talk-1034161_1920It’s no secret that networking, that tangible-intangible social bonding experience, is the key to success when it comes to finding a job.

It seems logical then, the more people in your network, the better chance for success.  Professionals of all ages seem to compare networking prowess to their social media victories, counting the number of people as a sign of success.

Whether you are a novice networker or a networker savant, it may come as a surprise to hear this:

Networking is not a numbers game. Networking is all about building relationships.

I cannot stress this enough.  It’s about the relationship you build with each person in your network.

At the end of the day, does the person feel strongly enough about you – in a positive manner – to put their reputation on the line and recommend you for a job?

Whoa! Think about that for a minute, and ask yourself, “Who would I stake my reputation on and recommend for a job?” It’s a daunting thought.

This brings me to the actual networking itself.  Here are 4 “Do’s” and 1 “Don’t” for Successful Networking:

  1. DO Find Common Ground. This is your conversation goal when trying to build a relationship with a new person.  It can be as simple as you both have common interest in the group meeting you are attending at that very moment.  Or perhaps you both went to the same school, work in the same industry or enjoy cheering for the same sports team.  Find something in common to talk about.
  2. DO share your experience. Once you’ve found common ground and have established a bit of a relationship, it’s okay to tell your new acquaintance what you do professionally. Just don’t ask about a job lead right away. Save that for a follow-up down the road.
  3. DO Exchange business cards. DO NOT say, “I’ll remember your name and find you on LinkedIn”. Not gonna happen.  Take the information immediately, for two reasons:  First, you need to call this new contact by name, while you are talking to them. Having a business card helps you do that.  Two, you can write information about her/him on the card afterwards, such as “went to school with Dan” or some other reminder.
  4. DO Follow up. Immediately after the networking event, send each person a note saying it was nice to meet them, adding “Let me know if I can help you in the future”.  Networking is not all about you, you know.  IMPORTANT: Periodically follow up with people in your network, if for no other reason than to say Hi.  It keeps you top of mind and is one more step in building the relationship.

DON’T talk about anything controversial. For your own sake, I beg of you!  This includes politics, religion, sexist remarks; topics that may make others cringe, etc.

The problem with controversial topics is they tend to put others on the defensive. They rarely make friends of strangers, unless you are lucky enough to find someone who shares your views.  It’s a fifty-fifty risk that’s not worth taking when you are trying to score as many new friends as possible in pursuit of employment.

I know this “Don’t” may ruffle some feathers.  Some of you may want to dig in your heels, saying, “These are my beliefs and if someone doesn’t like them, too bad”.   I’m not asking that you give up your beliefs; simply know your audience first and understand the goal you are trying to achieve.

Recently I attended a networking event and was visiting with a gentleman afterward. Not sure how the discussion even began, yet suddenly I felt as if I were under attack on some very personal beliefs brought up by this individual. Others even backed away. His attitude and behavior came across as angry and argumentative; it also didn’t help that his appearance was disheveled and he needed a haircut.

I’m sure he thought he was standing up for his beliefs. Eventually I removed myself from the conversation but for me he blew it with his hot-headed tirade. I will not recommend him going forward.

Remember the end goal: to build a long-term positive relationship with individuals. The next time they need to hire someone with your skills – or hear of a job opening in your field – you want them to think of you.

 

Resumes Are Weird; You Must Network to Find a Job

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When it comes to picking a movie, who do you trust more: your friend or an online movie critic you’ve never met?

If you picked movie critic, perhaps you need new friends. Just sayin’.

In most cases, we trust the opinions of our friends over strangers.

Our friends know us and we know them.  We have grown to value their opinion. They have our best interests at heart and would tell us the truth.

We believe them when they tell us we would enjoy the film.

The same principle is true when it comes to hiring new employees.  We believe our friends and trusted colleagues know us well enough to suggest good candidates for job openings.

This is one reason networking is crucial to your job search.   You must use your network to provide personal recommendations when it comes to securing a job.  

This video by Domics Animation is a clever demonstration of why networking is so important.  He’s right: hiring managers tend to hire someone based on the recommendation of a trusted friend or colleague over hiring a stranger.

The creator is clearly not a fan of resumes, stating “Resumes are weird”, although I believe a good resume is necessary since most of the time we all have to apply for jobs via the company’s website.  May as well make it the best it can be.

And I disagree with the author that young people don’t have networks to help them find their first job.  Even kids in high school have classmates, teachers, and friends of their parents to tap into to help find a job.

Remember: Even with a recommendation you still need to bring you’re A-Game to the interview and to the job itself.  With privilege comes great responsibility; you need to prove your worth.

The important point is to build your network and use that network when searching for a job.

Take a look!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ4NdEtc29o

The Truth About Networking

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Job hunting is a lot like dating. There’s the hunt for a strong connection, mutual goals and a personality fit before actually committing to each other for any length of time.

I’m now going to take this one step further and say that networking is like blind-dating. This seems to be especially true when it comes to using LinkedIn.

Random messages from prospective “dates” arrive in my inbox that say, “I’d like to add you to my professional network.”

These messages are auto-produced, without any thought given to the message. Apparently these people – who are strangers to me – are so desperate to make a connection that they have trolled LinkedIn looking for people to connect with, even if it’s ten degrees of separation.

The notes come without an explanation as to why I might want to connect with them, such as “We are both friends of Joe” or “We both worked together at XYZ”, or “I am in marketing and I would like to connect with other marketers” – anything that would remotely make sense.

You know what happens when I receive a blind-date from LinkedIn? I treat it with the same level of respect as a real date that had shown so little effort.

I ignore the request to connect.

Here’s the truth about networking: Networking is about building a relationship. Even blind-dating is done with the hopes of finding a spark that will build a relationship. But to get the spark, there first has to be some sort of conversation starter.

Simply sending the auto-generated “I’d like to add you to my LinkedIn network” is the worst mistake you can make when networking on LinkedIn.

It shows you have given zero thought to me as a possible connection. It tells me you’re lazy and you won’t give time to even try to establish small talk or begin a relationship.

Worst of all, without any relationship, you are nothing to me and I am nothing to you. There’s no way we can help each other. All we’ve done is pad our LinkedIn numbers in an attempt to show we’ve got tons of connections, albeit bad connections.

Networking takes work. It takes time. It’s not something that can be done by trolling LinkedIn and clicking a few auto-generated invitations.

The truth about networking is that it’s harder than dating. It’s harder than blind-dating. And that’s really, really, hard.

Girl Power

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This post first appeared in May of 2013, and I wanted to run it again to remind us of the importance of building not only our business networks but also our personal support systems.  We need to support each other as we build our careers or search for jobs! 

 

One of the benefits of being an author is that I get invited to speak at different groups and events.  And that means I get to meet new people – always a plus for a social person like me.  It’s especially good if there’s food involved; bonus points if there’s chocolate.

Recently I had the opportunity to meet a wonderful group of women who are part of an organization designed specifically to support local business women.  They meet regularly to talk about business issues in general as well as those specific to women.  They want to empower themselves and other women through constant learning and growing.

During my time with them, we focused on reinventing yourself in your career.  It was a wonderfully engaging conversation.  We talked about almost everything: our careers, the economy, even shoes.  It’s a universal rule: whenever two are more women are gathered, there will be a discussion at some point about shoes.

This was “Girl-Power” at its finest.  Or whatever you call it now that we are adults.

Although I was the guest speaker, I felt immediately like part of the group. The chatter flowed effortlessly as though we had been friends for years.   And I was reminded about the importance of supporting our friends and colleagues as we journey through our business lives.

Last week I wrote about neglect as it pertains to our resumes and interview skills.  This meeting reminded me that we also need to keep our friendships thriving – both personal friendships as well as business acquaintances.

This is beyond networking; this is a support system.  And it’s vital to our career growth.

I, for one, am guilty of neglecting my support system.  Not talking about family here.  Hubby looks wounded, like he’s been kicked off my support team.  He is my rock, and always will be.  It’s just that everyone – women and men – need a business support system outside of the family.   People who are objective third parties.

This group of women reminded me that I need to make my support system a priority, although that’s easier said than done. We’re all busy, and adding one more thing to the schedule seems like a monumental task.  It’s important for me to do this so I can continue to grow in my career and as a person.

I sure don’t want to wait until a layoff or I’m desperate to begin a job search to try and round up my friends and colleagues.  Yikes.  That would be like asking friends to come to my wedding at the last minute.

To my Girl Power friends out there, I’m sorry I’ve neglected you.  It’s about time we re-grouped for a friendly networking event.  If I’m in charge, there will be lots of food and plenty of beverages – and definitely chocolate.

And don’t forget to put your best foot forward – shoes will be the first topic on the agenda.

Old Friends, New Faces: A Lesson In Networking

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“OMG! You look awesome!”  “So great to see you!”  “How in the world are things going?”  “We have SO MUCH to talk about!”

The room was buzzing with everyone talking, and shrieking as another person entered.  The beautiful hors d’oeuvres went untouched; no time to eat when we had so much to say.

It was a business meeting, the kick-off event that would set the tone for the rest of the week. Colleagues who had become friends, getting together to catch up.

There’s nothing like it, is there? The camaraderie, the excitement, the “Is that what you really look like?”

Say what?!

Yes, despite years of doing business together, this was the first time some of us had ever met in person. The event could have been titled, “Old friends, new faces”.

I was particularly interested in attending since it would be the first time I would meet my publicist, live, in person. 

Yet it didn’t really matter if we met or not. We already knew each other.  Over the years we have logged countless hours on the phone. We’ve texted and Skyped and emailed and Facebook’d and Tweeted. Our business relationship is as rock-solid as if we had originally met in person.

So how did we ever find each other, several states away? Through networking, of course.

Much is said about the importance of networking in the business world.  I talk a lot about it during presentations on career transition or when I’m working with college students. Who you know – your network – will be instrumental in both your business life and your personal life.

You never know who you know that knows someone.

My story is a classic example of networking at its best. It happened organically, which is usually the case.  I was talking to another person in my network about a project I was working on when she suggested I contact her colleague, who had experience in the same area.

Introductions were made, we had a phone conversation and before you know it we had a business deal.

Similarly, job opportunities can happen through networking.  It’s not always what you know but who you know.

Networking is so important to me that I purposely set aside time to send short notes to people, forward job leads, or to simply say hi.  Even if it’s just a quick acknowledgement on social media, at least they know I’m there.

It amazes me that others don’t understand the power of networking. Recently I had someone tell me that they don’t use LinkedIn or Facebook.  The reason? They don’t have time.

Whoa. That makes my head hurt.

Both are great networking tools, with different purposes that make it easy to connect with others.  LinkedIn should be a no-brainer for everyone of working age.  It’s your online showcase that tells your professional story to business colleagues.  Recruiters search LinkedIn too, looking for qualified candidates.

FaceBook is clearly more social yet can be effective at building your network. Friends have other friends that might be able to help you professionally.  Just be sure to take it off-line when you need to chat about a job.

Many people tell me that social media is a time-suck and that’s why they don’t use it.  I say that’s an excuse; one that is only going to hurt them in the end.

Networking is part of your job, requiring some time and effort, as well as a bit of strategy. Build it into your work plan, set aside time, and do it.

Or you can sit back and wait until you really need a recommendation or, heaven forbid, a new job.  That strategy – or lack of networking – may bite you in the butt.

Alex and me 1-18-15

Must-Haves for Thanksgiving

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Thanksgiving blog

What’s on your list of “must-haves” for Thanksgiving? 

Is it turkey or maybe cranberry sauce? How about a pair of “stretchy pants” that allows you to eat as much as you want and still be comfortable?  Big-screen TV to watch your favorite team?

All good choices, I must admit. 

May I suggest a few other things to add to your list?

  • Business cards.
  • A well-rehearsed elevator speech.
  • A couple of success stories to tell, just in case the opportunity arises.
  • A positive attitude about your job, career, or job search. Even if you’re in a slump.

While the holiday is a great day for eating, relaxing and watching football, it can also be a networking opportunity.

Think I’m nuts? 

You never know who’s going to show up for dinner.  Sometimes dad or Aunt Sue or even the next door neighbor who came to watch the game may have connections.

A similar situation happened to me at Halloween.  A neighbor hosted a party in her front yard to give away candy.  Several of us came to participate.  In between Trick-or-Treaters, we were all talking and one person mentioned she was looking for a job.

As luck would have it, I had just learned of a job that fit her credentials.  We exchanged information, the next day I connected her with the hiring manager and she lined up an interview.

Sometimes connections happen when we least expect it. Like holidays with family and strangers.

Bring your business cards to Thanksgiving dinner, along with a thankful attitude for everything you already have.

You never know what might happen.

Two Things Not to Ask During An Interview

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There are some things one just shouldn’t ask during an interview.

Even during an informational interview that is really more of a mentoring session. What’s rule number one of networking? Always attempt to make a good impression.  Some questions asked do not leave a good impression.

Case in point: A friend agreed to mentor a college student. This included inviting the student to the office to observe work in progress, answer any questions and review his resume.

My friend did her best to show him around the office and meet other people. She shared projects the company had worked on and critiqued his resume, making suggestions that would help when it came to interviewing.

She introduced him to current college interns and showed him the projects they were working on.

It was a great opportunity for the student to see first-hand the inside workings of a large award-winning firm.

A great time to ask questions like, “Which elective courses might help me in this line of work?”, “What kind of projects do new graduates typically work on as they begin their careers?” and “What kind of computer skills do you look for in graduates with my degree plan?”

Since many college programs, even at the graduate level, require internships, it was also a way to inquire about this, including who to contact at the corporate office.

Not this young hotshot.

As the session was coming to a close, the student did have a few questions, mostly mundane and repetitive of what had been answered earlier.

Then the ball dropped.

“Soooo, tell me what’s a typical day like here; you know when do you come in and when do you leave?”

My friend glanced at her watch; time was now about 7 p.m. and the student interns, as well as other high-level managers were still at their desks.

She felt like saying, “You did not just ask me that did you?”

The student quickly followed with: “How much do you pay your interns?” pulling out data on pay obtained from the internet.

My friend was speechless.

The first question could have been one of curiosity; however a quick glance around the open-concept office would have shown that most people were working late.

The second question was just not a smart one to ask during a networking meeting. Especially because 1) this was not a job interview and 2) that’s not information that was his business until a job offer is on the table.

Both questions were red-flags to my friend. In her opinion, the questions signaled that the student was more interested in finding out about the hours he would have to work and how much money he could make instead of what he might learn.

Combined with the issue that throughout the time spent together, he didn’t once show that he had a passion for his chosen career or for possibly working at the firm.

It’s this kind of thing that might come back to bite him in the hind quarters when applying for an internship or a job later on.

Like I said, there are some things one just shouldn’t ask during an interview.

 

Rookie Networking Mistakes

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One thing that career veterans have in common with college students or recent graduates is that we were, at one time, networking rookies.

Like rookies at pro football training camp, students must learn how to network at corporate events with executives, which is somewhat different than networking or meeting people at college mixers.

As in any sport, rookies tend to make mistakes, and that’s okay. The important thing is to learn from them.

The key to networking is preparation and practice. Makes a world of difference.  Remembering to breathe helps too.

Avoid these Rookie Networking Mistakes:

 

M.C. STAMMERER

“I, um – ah –ya, know, like, I was wondering about, like your work, like, what do you do?” “Like?”

Suggestion: Leave, like, maybe, some of those, um, words out, ya know.

Take time to prepare before you attend a networking event.  Remember, this is similar to meeting anyone new: introduce yourself, have questions to ask and topics to discuss; have your thirty- second “elevator pitch” ready.  Act interested in what people have to say.

This is not about you finding an internship or job this minute. This is about building a relationship or connection that could lead to a job prospect down the road.

 

MR. FLY-BY-THE-SEAT-OF-MY-PANTS

Rookie: “I’m studying photography so I want an internship with a ‘good’ photographer.”

Executive: “What kind of photography would you like to do?”

Rookie: “I don’t care. I just want an internship. “

Of course you care! At least you should.

By literally saying, “I don’t care”, if you’re really lucky you may find yourself scrubbing toilets for the “good” photographer while he personally works with the student who said they have a passion to learn how to light a subject correctly.

An internship is a two to three month opportunity to get experience with no strings attached. This does not have to be the work that defines you for the next thirty years.  Pick one or two areas of interest and speak up!

“I really enjoy photographing people and their animals. I would also like to learn more about the proper way to use lighting, both inside and outside”.  

I suspect that’s what the “good” photographer wants to hear.

This is your career, your life, you’re talking about. If you don’t care, no one else will.

 

PLAY DEFENSIVE TACKLE

This should go without saying but I’ve had this happen to me a few times.

Never criticize the employer of someone you just met. Never criticize a policy, an advertisement, the CEO, not one thing.

First, that person may be responsible for what you just criticized. And besides, you’ve now just put them on the defensive when you should be trying to win them over.

Smooth; real smooth.

 

MY CLOTHES WERE DIRTY SO I’M WEARING MY PJ’S

I’m not sure how many more times I can write about this; it’s driving me crazy because this should be obvious. At each event I attend there is at least one person that has yet to receive the memo.

Dress appropriately for a business networking event.

It’s simple, people! Iron your clothes. Brush your hair. Tuck in your shirt. Put on a belt. Wear shoes, not rubber flip flops.  Slacks, not shorts.

Jackets and ties are not required but concert t-shirts are a “no”. Clean, polished shoes. And ladies, if you can’t walk well in those high-heels, opt for something lower.

Please. I’m begging you.

 

WE ARE EXECUTIVES, NOT PSYCHICS

Business networking events are interesting. Career veterans are like politicians working the room, smiling, shaking hands, passing out business cards.

Rookies are shuffling their feet with their heads down or maybe standing quietly on the sidelines like wallflowers.

If I’m at an event with rookies, I generally introduce myself first and present my business card as sort of an ice-breaker. I get it; rookies are nervous.  I remember because I was a rookie at one time.

Yet we career veterans can only hold the conversation for so long, trying to guess the questions rookies want to ask us. It really helps if rookies are prepared for networking with a list of questions to ask; they can actually refer to the list if they need to.  It makes for a much more productive conversation for everyone.we don’t mind helping.

We just can’t read your mind.

 

IT’S NETWORKING; NOT INSTANT GRATIFICATION

Remember that networking is about building a relationship, something that usually takes time. We meet people at school, at work, through church and volunteer organizations or social activities, and over time we learn about each other.

A clear rookie networking mistake is when someone meets me for the first time, we’ve barely introduced ourselves, and the first question they ask is, “Do you know of any jobs for me?”

No, I don’t; we’ve just met and I know nothing about you.

Take time to know me and what it is that I do. Tell me about yourself and what you do or want to do. Let that sit for a while.  Let’s exchange business cards and stay connected on LinkedIn.

Then, when you see a job that interests you and realize that I have a connection at that company, ask me to make an introduction.

Now that’s networking.

Have You Cracked the Networking Code?

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When I was first starting out, I had no idea what it meant to network.  This is the stuff they talked about in business school yet failed to teach.

Don’t laugh but I honestly thought that networking was akin to sales cold-calling.  Since my only experience meeting new people was during our weekly after-work happy hours, I assumed that networking was similar.

Networking to me meant surveying the bar to find a friendly-looking person, grab my business card and go introduce myself.

We were already dressed in our business professional attire. We had business cards with us. This HAD to be what they were talking about, right?

Yeah, it was awkward.

And I wondered why I never got any dates.  Or made any business connections.

Luckily for me I was already networking; I just didn’t know it.

Every year I sent Christmas cards to a huge list that included relatives, friends from high school, college and business school, as well as friends of my parents that I had known since childhood.  That list expanded to include work colleagues and business associates.

Periodically I would call or email someone I hadn’t seen in a while to say hello; that would lead to lunch or dinner to catch-up in person.

As I worked my way up the corporate ladder and made business connections with suppliers, I kept their names and phone numbers in my Filofax long before we had smart phones.

I employed the same techniques with business colleagues as I did with my friends, periodically emailing or calling them or having lunch with them, even long after I had moved on to other jobs.  And I continued this relationship-building everywhere I worked.

After many years of doing this, a colleague heard me mention that Hubby and I send out hundreds of Christmas cards.  My colleague said, “You are so well-connected!”

That was the first time I ever thought that I might have cracked the networking code.

There it is; the secret of networking.  I’ve laid it out for you.

What; it’s still not clear?  Let me say it a different way:  Communicate with people you know and meet; do this regularly.

Networking, at a basic level, is keeping up with the people you know and meet.  To take it to the next level, you build a relationship with those people through work or friendships or however it is you know them.

The key is staying connected. I’m not gonna lie; it takes work to keep these relationships going.  But that’s what networking is about; building a relationship; one that is strong enough so when you need a favor like, “Will you recommend me for a job?” your network is willing and able to help.

Think you don’t have a network?  I bet you do.

Sit down and start listing all of your close friends and relatives. Then branch out to other friends; your sisters’ friends; your parents’ friends. Then everyone you know at your current job; everyone at your last job and the job before that, and so on.  List as many people as you can remember from college; your classmates, sorority or fraternity pals; friends from any clubs you belonged to, sports teams you played on, etc.  List people you know at your church, any volunteer organizations you work with, etc.

How does your list look now?  Do you have some connections?  I know you do.

And you know what?  Your connections have connections.  That’s how this starts.  Your connections can introduce you to more connections.

Remember to carry business cards with you at all times, even to a funeral (I wrote a post about this; check it out here).  You never know where or when you might meet someone.

Look at you; you’ve just cracked the networking code.  I knew you could do it.