4 Do’s for Successful Networking ….And 1 Don’t

It’s no secret that networking, that tangible-intangible social bonding experience, is the key to success when it comes to finding a job.

It seems logical then, the more people in your network, the better chance for success.  Professionals of all ages seem to compare networking prowess to their social media victories, counting the number of people as a sign of success.

Whether you are a novice networker or a networker savant, it may come as a surprise to hear this:

Networking is not a numbers game. Networking is all about building relationships.

I cannot stress this enough.  It’s about the relationship you build with each person in your network.

At the end of the day, does the person feel strongly enough about you – in a positive manner – to put their reputation on the line and recommend you for a job?

Whoa! Think about that for a minute, and ask yourself, “Who would I stake my reputation on and recommend for a job?” It’s a daunting thought.

This brings me to the actual networking itself.  Here are 4 “Do’s” and 1 “Don’t” for Successful Networking:

1. DO Find Common Ground. This is your conversation goal when trying to build a relationship with a new person.  It can be as simple as you both have common interest in the group meeting you are attending at that very moment.  Or perhaps you both went to the same school, work in the same industry or enjoy cheering for the same sports team.  Find something in common to talk about.
2. DO share your experience. Once you’ve found common ground and have established a bit of a relationship, it’s okay to tell your new acquaintance what you do professionally. Just don’t ask about a job lead right away. Save that for a follow-up down the road.
3. DO Exchange business cards. DO NOT say, “I’ll remember your name and find you on LinkedIn”. Not gonna happen.  Take the information immediately, for two reasons:  First, you need to call this new contact by name, while you are talking to them. Having a business card helps you do that.  Two, you can write information about her/him on the card afterwards, such as “went to school with Dan” or some other reminder.
4. DO Follow up. Immediately after the networking event, send each person a note saying it was nice to meet them, adding “Let me know if I can help you in the future”.  Networking is not all about you, you know.  IMPORTANT: Periodically follow up with people in your network, if for no other reason than to say Hi.  It keeps you top of mind and is one more step in building the relationship.

DON’T talk about anything controversial. For your own sake, I beg of you!  This includes politics, religion, sexist remarks; topics that may make others cringe, etc.

The problem with controversial topics is they tend to put others on the defensive. They rarely make friends of strangers, unless you are lucky enough to find someone who shares your views.  It’s a fifty-fifty risk that’s not worth taking when you are trying to score as many new friends as possible in pursuit of employment.

I know this “Don’t” may ruffle some feathers.  Some of you may want to dig in your heels, saying, “These are my beliefs and if someone doesn’t like them, too bad”.   I’m not asking that you give up your beliefs; simply know your audience first and understand the goal you are trying to achieve.

Recently I attended a networking event and was visiting with a gentleman afterward. Not sure how the discussion even began, yet suddenly I felt as if I were under attack on some very personal beliefs brought up by this individual. Others even backed away. His attitude and behavior came across as angry and argumentative; it also didn’t help that his appearance was disheveled and he needed a haircut.

I’m sure he thought he was standing up for his beliefs. Eventually I removed myself from the conversation but for me he blew it with his hot-headed tirade. I will not recommend him going forward.

Remember the end goal: to build a long-term positive relationship with individuals. The next time they need to hire someone with your skills – or hear of a job opening in your field – you want them to think of you.