Practice Makes Perfect

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Chocolate Cake Slice with Raspberries

“You are a ROCK STAR!” read the text from my PR guy.  Yes, PR people have PR people – it’s a real thing; look it up.

“That was awesome; you did great!” read an email from someone else.  “I can’t wait to watch the video,” said Hubby, who happened to miss the entire thing.

I may charge Hubby a fee for missing it. He claims being on an airplane is a good excuse.

The “It” I’m talking about was my first live online video chat through Google Hangout for the website Resume Edge. The topic was “How to Bounce Back After a Job Loss”, something I discuss when I’m invited to speak to various groups and a subject I’m very familiar with.

Why was I so nervous going into the Hangout?  Maybe it was it because this was my first time using this platform.  It’s always intimidating to try new technology for the first time – with everyone watching – and no IT guy nearby in case I needed help.  Maybe my nerves were acting up because I would have to think on the fly to answer questions as they came in.  Who knows?

So what does a good presenter do in such a situation? Have a Plan B.  And C.  And D, if you think you might need it.

Boy did I have back up plans!  My iPad was charged up and standing by in case my laptop failed me.  My smart phone was on the desk just in case.  I had my notes open side-by-side with the Hangout app so I could see both screens.  If all else failed, I planned to pick up my laptop with the built-in webcam and give everyone a tour of my house, hoping they would be confused and think they tuned in to HGTV or something.

You’d think I was some sort of Hangout savant.

Yet none of my back-up plans were necessary.  Things went smoothly.  Easy-peasy. Piece of cake.

Truth be told, the reason it went so smoothly was that I practiced.  A lot.

First I reviewed all of my presentations on the subject, taking notes and thinking about possible questions that may be asked.  Hubby assisted by randomly throwing questions at me at different times of day to see if I could answer intelligently.  He’s such a helper.

Next, I scheduled a Hangout with my PR guy to test the technology.  Good thing, too, since we quickly discovered that my computer’s internal microphone wasn’t working.  Yikes.  That would have been awful for everyone except those who could read lips.

Once I got the mic working, I spent hours practicing in front of my webcam. Rehearsing as if this were the real-deal.   Also gave me a chance to make sure the lighting was right and the background looked good.

All of the dress-rehearsals paid off.  There were some tech issues – the Hangout kept telling me I needed to login when I was already logged in – but like any good actor I just kept going.  I figured I was either doing a great job, or if I was talking to no one I’d get a text telling me they could no longer see me on the screen.

Practice.  No one likes to do it yet it can pay off in the end.  I am certainly not a fan of talking to myself in front of a video camera.  Boy, am I glad I did.

Same thing applies when you prepare for a job interview.  Practice answering interview questions – out loud.  There’s nothing like having to say the words.   At the very least prepare a list of possible questions you might be asked, then type out your answers.  If nothing else, you will have given it some thought and will not be “winging it”.

Practice allows you to enter the interview with confidence.  If you’re thrown a curveball question, it’s easier to respond.  True, the answer may not be perfect yet imagine what might happen if you tried to “wing it” in this situation?

Practice, people!  It’s what you should do.

The Age of Relevance

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Hands and phones

When it comes to hiring, it seems like there’s still a lot of discussion about age.  Perception is that younger candidates are being chosen over older more experienced ones. This leaves the older candidates perplexed, without work, wondering what happened.

Theories I’ve read include the obvious age discrimination, and that older workers are not competitive because they don’t know about all the new technology like their younger counterparts.

I’m calling B.S. here.

That’s a pretty bold declaration given that I have no data to back up my claim, nor do I have any data to disprove the things I’ve read.

Don’t get me wrong; I agree that age discrimination exists.  What I think is B.S. is the part about older workers not having current skills and not being of value anymore. 

Take my little coffee shop “Focus Group” that meets each week.  I call it a “Meeting of the Minds”; Hubby calls it the “Brain Trust”.  A group of gentleman, all at least partially retired, many of them in an age group north of 70.  I think it’s safe to say most are senior citizens.

Discussions are lively and cover a wide range of topics including politics, business, the economy, personal finance and how to fix things.  Computers and technology are always part of the equation.

As the youngest person and only female participant in the group, I consider it a privilege to be included. They tell me I’m their “center of gravity” and that I’m “smart”.  Flattery will get them everywhere.

Honestly, it’s these guys with the white hair that are smart.  I’m in awe of their business knowledge. I try to listen and learn from them.  One thing is certain: all of them are relevant and current, both with today’s technology and social media.

During a recent meeting, everyone had their cell phones on the table in case a call came in.  Probably from their stockbrokers, I guessed, given they all seem to have way more money than I’ll ever have.

All of a sudden one of the men announced, “Say hi to Tom”.  He had initiated a Google Hangout with a former group member who moved to another city.  Talk about being relevant!  That he even had a smart phone should have made him relevant enough.   Add the Hangout and he is like a geriatric rock star.

The point is that all of these people are much older than the average person trying to find work today.  All of them are current with technology and social media. And the added bonus is they have years of business experience that would make them an asset to a company.

Just so we’re all clear, none of these gentlemen had careers in computers or technology.

In my opinion, employers need to focus on relevance and a willingness to learn rather than age when it comes to hiring.  Combine that with years of work experience and it’s a triple threat that is hard to beat. Something that you certainly won’t get from a younger candidate.

Older job candidates, listen up!  This means work on your part too. Understand and participate in social media.  Be sure your LinkedIn profile is up to date, that you have a FaceBook account and that you at least know enough about Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Tumblr, Google+, and other applications to carry on an intelligent conversation.

Staying relevant might mean taking a class to keep your work skills up to date.  In our area, the community college offers free or discounted classes to anyone over fifty.

Networking is a must.  Attend professional association meetings and read industry publications for current news – a great way to learn about new trends in your field.

Be relevant in both your attitude and appearance as well.  You’re as young as you feel, right?  Project that internal youthful energy in your voice and enthusiasm. It’s amazing how that will translate positively over the phone, in meetings and during interviews.

Will there still be age discrimination? Probably.  I can only control my behavior.  So I’m going to present the relevant, enthusiastic, younger person that I feel inside.  Even if I have to hire Ms. Clairol to cover my roots.

Eleven Things Never To Wear To Work

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Sandals Drying on Clothesline

The sun is shining, trees are beginning to bud and my calendar says March. I don’t know about you, but that screams “spring” to me.  Yet one step outside and I realize looks can be deceiving.  The Polar Vortex has not completely left.

So I here I sit in my cashmere sweater and Ugg boots trying to stay warm when my toes are ready to stretch out in new sandals.

I’m tired of my winter work wardrobe and am ready to dive into spring and summer fashions.  I’m pretty sure my colleagues are tired of my tried-and-true cashmere sweaters as well.  So I peruse the newest catalog with this season’s must-haves.

I really love spring and summer fashions, especially for work.  Usually I’m a pants-gal, although dresses are a great choice for the office: they look good and it’s easy to get ready in the morning.  Just throw on a cute pair of pumps or dressy sandals and some jewelry and you’re ready to go.

Men, depending on the dress code at your office, a collar-less t-shirt in a nice fabric and a sport coat are a good alternative to a coat and tie.  Or even a nice golf shirt if your office is business-casual.

Perhaps it’s because I really like fashion and feel good when I dress well, or maybe it’s my experience as a buyer for Neiman’s, but it really bothers me when I see people wear inappropriate clothing to work.

With all of the great fashions available at affordable prices, there are some things that should never be worn to work.  Ever.  I mean it.

Since I’ve actually witnessed these “dress for success” mistakes, I wanted to share this quick list of “Eleven Things Never to Wear to Work”.   (Why not ten?  Number eleven was too good to leave out.)

Eleven Things Never To Wear to Work

Strapless Dress – No matter how warm it is outside, a strapless dress is for after-hours.  I’m sorry that you love it; it’s not appropriate for the office.  If it’s the only clean item in your closet, at the very least wear a sweater or jacket to cover your shoulders.

Cleavage Crack – Can’t believe we have to address this one yet I keep seeing it so apparently some haven’t gotten the memo. Anything that exposes your cleavage needs to be saved for after work.

Tank Top – It’s fine to wear tanks or cami’s under jackets and sweaters as long as there’s no cleavage crack.  But not as a top without a jacket.   And men – this is a “no” all the time.  No one wants to work next to your hairy arm pits.

Too-Tight Anything – Especially if it’s a blouse – the “girls” should not cause fabric to strain.  As painful as it may be to your psyche, buy a bigger size top for work.

Flip Flops – Rubber flip flops are great – for the beach or pool.  Guys, I know you want to wear sandals and this is one of your only options but it’s not good.  Find a nice casual shoe instead.

Shorts – It should go without saying that one should not wear shorts to work, even if it’s a cute dressy outfit with platform sandals.  Actually, that might be worse, if you want to be taken seriously.

Sky-High Platforms or Stilettos – I’m a shoe addict with a collection Imelda would envy.  But I understand that not all of my shoes are right for the office.  Some are meant for evenings and weekends.   And ladies, if you have trouble walking in your shoes then you really don’t need to wear them to work.  Or anywhere, for that matter.

T-Shirts with Slogans – I love a good concert t-shirt.  Just not at work.

Wrinkled and/or Stained Clothing – Check your outfit before you leave the house.  Has it been cleaned and pressed?  Be sure to check it again after you’ve had your breakfast, before you get in the car.  If you spilled, change.

Frayed Jeans – I love that many offices allow jeans at work.  But I’m pretty sure jeans that are ripped from top to bottom are not the best choice.  Yes, I know we pay big bucks to look that ragged.  Impress your friends after hours instead.

Too Much of Anything – When it comes to dressing for work, think “less is more”. Cologne, make-up, big hair, jewelry – too much ruins the great statement you were trying to make.

Always Carry A Business Card

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business card

“It’s tomorrow at 10:00; will you take me?” said the voice on the phone.  Ugh.  It’s not that I didn’t want to help Mom. It’s just that my schedule was already tight, with a big project deadline and a to-do list a mile long.  The last thing I wanted was to attend a funeral.

To add to the conundrum, I learned the service was for a former neighbor and the mother of a childhood friend. Didn’t matter that I had lost touch with my friend. I remember when Dad died, how good it made me feel to have people attend his service.  Now I felt guilty – that I had to attend.  I felt like I should go whether mom was involved or not.

Oh, that Catholic guilt!  And I’m not even Catholic.

So I worked like crazy, getting as much done as possible that would allow me to take a couple hours for the service.

Once at the service I knew I had done the right thing.  Not only for mom, but for myself as well.

I know you think I’m going to say something like, “It was a good reminder to slow down” or “The family appreciated my presence” or even, “It felt good to help mom”.

Yes, it was all of those things.  But actually – truthfully – it was a great reminder to always carry a business card.

You see, it turns out that a funeral is also a good networking opportunity.

I know, I know.  That sounds awful.  Part of me hates that I even typed that sentence.

This was not planned; it just happened, as networking so often does.  We were at the reception following the service, seated at a table with mom’s friends.  I struck up a conversation with a man at the next table, asking how he was related to the family.  We began talking and I discovered he’s a commercial photographer.  Wouldn’t you know, I was looking for a commercial photographer for a client project!

Small world, huh?  Turns out I couldn’t use him on this project since he’s based in another city a few hours away.  I asked for his business card for future projects.   He looked at me and his face fell.  “I didn’t bring any”.

That, my friends, was unfortunate.

I know it sounds harsh, given he was at his grandmother’s funeral.  My point is that it just goes to show that you never know when or where you are going to meet someone who might be a business contact.  Business cards should be just like a driver’s license: with you at all times.

Luckily for him I had business cards with me, so he’s got my information to connect on LinkedIn as well as my email address.

And the story gets better.  We continued talking and I mentioned a PR contact I had in his city that might be a good business contact for him.  Super small world: turns out he just finished a project for her!

Talk about six degrees of separation.

What did I learn from this day, aside from the fact that people really appreciate your attendance at life-changing events?

–          Always carry a business card

–          Pay it forward. I gave mom a ride; good karma gave me a business connection. Thanks mom, for not being confident enough to drive across town!

–          Funerals can be a good networking opportunity

Can I get an “Amen”?

Embracing Change

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Brrr! When I woke up this morning the temperature had dropped to twenty nine degrees.  Yesterday it was eighty and I was rockin’ flip-flops.  Today we will reach thirty-two if we’re lucky.  But just wait: according to the forecast, tomorrow’s high will be seventy-nine.

That’s Texas for you. If you don’t like the weather just wait a day because it will change.

One of the benefits of my first job out of grad school is that I learned to adapt to change.  We were expected to change jobs within the company every three years on average.  We would master one job, and move on to the next.  From the beginning we could see our career path laid out before us.  It was succession planning at its best.

You know what I learned from that?  Apparently I like change.  Sort of like the old saying, “A rolling stone gathers no moss”, I find myself itching for something new after a few years.

Hubby can rest easy. This does not apply to our relationship, although I will admit to wanting to infuse change into our home in the form of new furniture.  Talk about an expensive change!

For my career, change doesn’t have to involve leaving; it can mean a new position within the same company.  I would just like some advancement or newness – anything to keep from feeling like I’m in a rut.

As a consultant, change is part of my job. While I’m working for one client, I’m constantly in “new business development mode” scouting for work.  My friend calls it the “Fish while you eat” business model.  Even working on retainer for clients, at some point the agreement ends and I’m off to my next gig.

With consultant as my title, simply walking into a company can signal “change” for long-term employees.  Even though I’m only there to help, my presence can trigger fear.  And sometimes distrust. I want to scream, “I’m not like the Bob’s in the movie Office Space!”  (Great movie if you haven’t seen it; well worth the rental)

Yet change is inevitable and we all need to adapt to it.

I made an interesting observation between two clients.  One was well-established, with a mature employee base, probably in the upper forties.  The other was a start-up consisting of Gen Y-ers and Millenials, with the oldest person in their mid-thirties.

At the more established company, I sensed that some of the workers were skeptical of my presence, wondering what I was doing and why I was brought in to help.  Didn’t matter that it had nothing to do with them and that no jobs were in jeopardy.  Any comment I had or request that I made was “change”, and we all know that change is fear.

The younger, start-up company was all about change.  After all, they were plowing into uncharted territory. They were going to succeed or die trying. But fear, if was there any, was hiding.  There was an “all hands on deck” mentality, and I was immediately brought onto the team.  Change was welcomed.

I hope I never lose my ability to embrace change!

Fear of change starts to creep in as we mature.  Even though I like change, lately I’ve found that even I have to push myself to fight through any fear.

I talk a lot about career reinvention at speaking engagements.  Unfortunately I see this fear of change happen a lot, especially to those who have been laid-off or simply want to make a career change. They let fear take over. My guess is that it’s not that they doubt their capabilities, but movement of any kind – either forced through a layoff or on their own – means change.  Which is uncomfortable. And scary.

And that’s unfortunate.

These people are missing out on so much.  Learning, meeting new people, trying something new.  Living. Succeeding.

Yes, they could fail. But what if they succeed?

Let’s all try to embrace change; make it our friend. The more we get to know change the better we will like it.

And that’s a big step in the right direction.

 

The Headshot: A Visual Introduction To Your Resume

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If a picture paints a thousand words, could a photo be a visual introduction to a person’s resume? 

I started thinking deep thoughts about professional head shots while on LinkedIn, when it suggested three new people for me to add to my network, providing only headshots, names, current jobs and our common connections.

What struck me is that not one of them had a decent headshot.   They might have been fun pics for Facebook or to frame at home. Or maybe that was the only photo they had at the time.  But not for a serious networking tool like LinkedIn.

Here’s what I saw:

  1. In the first photo, the person is smiling and looks happy, which is good.  Problem is that it looks like they have antennae sticking out of their head – sort of like old-fashioned TV rabbit ears. The background leads me to believe they are in a bar or at a restaurant.
  2. The second photo is a bit better, with a nice outdoor background – clearly professional.  Too bad the person’s eyes appear to be closed.
  3. The third photo is the best.  Probably because there is no photo.  It’s one of those LinkedIn “placeholders”, a blue-gray silhouette meme that’s androgynous.  I guess they don’t want me – or prospective employers – to see them at all.

Yikes. 

Even before seeing these photos I had planned to update my professional headshot.  Mine was good, yet with speaking engagements and a website, it’s important to have more than one photo.

Honestly, I don’t like traditional headshots.  They can be too sterile; I want mine to portray some warmth and personality.  If this photo is a visual introduction then I want you to see a combination of business and personality.

After much research I booked a session with a local photographer, someone I had used before.  He suggested I bring some props in addition to clothing changes.

As I entered the studio I suddenly felt a bit intimidated.  Not many people I know actually enjoy getting their picture taken, especially by a professional.  And no wonder!  Our first photography sessions were forced on us as infants and toddlers by well-meaning family.

Many of these photos were taken at the holidays and included sitting on the lap of a scary-looking person in a Santa Claus outfit or Bunny suit.  Sort of counter to the “Stranger Danger” lessons our parents were trying to teach us.

Even the semi-professional school photos were intimidating.  Lined up with the rest of our classmates, one by one we were called forward to sit in the chair as the photographer shouted instructions. “Knees right! Head left! Chin up! Look at me, smile!-click-NEXT!”

Gosh, I hope this photographer doesn’t shout at me.  I am paying him, after all.

I looked around his studio and checked for scary clowns or other stranger danger.  Once I realized it was only the two of us I relaxed.

We worked for almost two hours taking multiple shots while he adjusted lights, props and me to get the perfect picture.  Wardrobe and prop changes added to the fun.  We chatted while he snapped.

Technology helped since he could tell instantly whether the lighting was right, and I could see the images on a big screen which allowed me to make adjustments in my expression.

We carefully went through the list of shots I wanted.  I walked out of the studio exhausted from trying to pose in a relaxed-yet-business-like manner.   That evening I sifted through a couple hundred images.  On a scale of one-to-ten, most were at least in the five to eight range, which is amazing.

I looked for the best ones, the nines and tens, knowing that these photos will be the first thing a stranger sees – my introduction to them and potentially a new opportunity.

More often than not we neglect this important part of our online business profile.  It can be expensive to hire a photographer and quite frankly, many of us simply do not like to have our picture taken.  So we rummage through our photos and settle for something we already have, assuming it will be good enough.

If my first chance to impress is with a stamp-sized photo on LinkedIn, I want mine to be great so potential employers are encouraged to learn more.  Remember: visual introduction.  I’m still sorting through my new headshots looking for the right one.

Yes, a picture paints a thousand words.  Or in the case of social media, it really just needs to make a good first impression.

Olympians and Job Seekers Deserve Respect for Their Efforts

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We have been up late every night watching the Olympics.  I’m mesmerized by all the different sports and love watching them.  Most I understand or have at least some grasp.  Then there’s curling.  I think someone’s just pulled a practical joke on the rest of the world with that one.  Probably invented by some kids trying to get out of doing their chores, so they came up with a new use for a broom.

Of course if you grew up in the north where everything is frozen for nine months of the year, I guess we can’t really blame people for trying anything to beat boredom.

Something that has really caught my attention this year is the play by play.  Is it just me or are the announcers hyper-critical of these incredible athletes?

Take snowboarding, for example.

“Well here comes the current world champ. He’s trying but I’m not sure if he can do it.  He’s older than the new kids coming up.  He can’t make any mistakes on this.  He has to do the triple Quasimodo with a twist.  I hear he’s been practicing carrying his grandmother.  Is he going to do it?  He looks shaky. He hasn’t had good practice runs. He’s too old.”

“Look! He’s got his grandmother on his shoulders! Can he do it? It’s doubtful.  I don’t know – YES! He did it, but it wasn’t great.  Grandma isn’t looking too happy either.  Not sure that this was his best effort; he can do better. “

Really?

These people have been training their entire lives for one moment to shine.  One moment.  They know if they’ve made a mistake in front of the entire world. While they’ve been conditioned to receive critiques, they don’t need anyone at this final moment – especially arm-chair quarterbacks – telling them they could do better.  Surely we could be a little more supportive.

Thank goodness job interviewing doesn’t warrant the same type of critical play-by-play coverage.  I can only imagine the added stress of having strangers, who have no say in the hiring process, evaluating my performance.

“Here she comes into the interview Bob.  She dressed well; looks like she has a new outfit.  Oh no! Wait – are those last years’ pumps?”  

“Yes, Cindy, I think they are.  That will be a deduction, although they may be lenient since she is wearing lipstick and her manicure looks good.  She does look a bit nervous.  Do you see how she’s holding her bag?  

“Here comes the handshake; she reaches out first and – yes! It looks like a solid handshake. There should be points added here. ”

“She’s maintaining eye contact.  Body language seems good.  Interviewer is leaning forward; oh no! He’s asking a surprise question!  What will she do?  Can she pull it off? I’ve never seen this done so early in the interview process, Bob!

“She’s pausing – definitely not a good sign.  Taking a drink of water – clearly she’s buying time. Wait a minute; she’s answering! I think she’s got it! She answered the surprise question, but I’m not sure it was her best effort, Cindy.”

“I agree Bob.  We’ll have to see what the interviewer says.  She may be disappointed in the outcome of this interview.”

Wouldn’t that be awful?  How about a little love from the adoring fans?

True, I haven’t trained like an Olympian for an interview, working my entire life for one moment.  Nor have I been conditioned to hear scathing critiques of my every move. Yet I have researched the company, prepared my questions and practiced my answers.  I’m ready to provide a two-minute summary that describes who I am and sounds conversational rather than memorized.  I’m aware that presentation is everything, so my outfit is chosen carefully and I remind myself of posture, eye contact and handshake.

Whether we are training for  the Olympics or simply preparing for a job interview, the key word here is respect.   Both events are moments for us to shine and do our best. And we’d all like a little support for our efforts, no matter what the outcome.

I may not receive a medal with my job offer, but that’s okay.  Sure beats listening to a hyper-critical play-by-play of my interview performance.

Glory Days

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yearbook pic

In a fit of cleaning I came across my high school yearbook.  Of course I had to take a minute to flip through the pages, looking at the pictures and reading the comments written by friends.

“Stay cool!”, “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you”, “Looking forward to all the parties you are going to throw at college”.   Just reading the comments and seeing our crazy hair-do’s made me smile.

Those were good times; much easier than now when we have mortgages and kids and a million other responsibilities.

They say you can never go back.  In many ways that’s true.  Try as I might, I can’t turn back the hands of time.   Of course I technically can and do go back.  I live near my high school, and each year I make several trips to my college town for football games and board meetings.

But that’s not what I’m talking about.  I’m talking about living in the past, fixated on those moments that can most accurately be claimed as “glory days”. 

Lucky for me, the only reason I would want to go backwards is to revel in my ultra-skinny high school self or to truly appreciate my beautiful black hair, before I met Miss Clairol.  And to figure out why someone thought I was “cool” when I thought I was a semi-nerd.

Don’t get me wrong; I enjoyed high school, and college made a huge impact on my life. Thanks to social media I am connected with many of my friends from so long ago.  But I don’t live there anymore, and that’s good.  No regrets.

I know people who live back there, in the past, trying to relive the “glory days”.  Instead of focusing on what they can do now, they seem to go back to the days of football games, homecoming, proms and parties in an attempt to live at what they think was the pinnacle of life.

Maybe it was a great time.  Yet I don’t want to be so focused on the past that I miss the present.

Glory days happen in the business world too.  I had the opportunity to work at a great company full of smart, passionate, engaging people.  We worked hard and played hard.  Business could be tough, but we were a team, united to achieve our goal.

Times changed, business changed and layoffs happened.  Our team clung together as long as we could but in the end we found different employment and we have all moved on to new experiences.

Every once in a while I’ll read a comment on social media about the “good times” and I start reminiscing too much as the song “Glory Days” rocks in my head.   Even though I know I’m looking at the past through rose-colored glasses, I can feel myself wishing to be back there for just a few minutes.

Yes, those were great times that we had.  In some ways I wish we could get them back.  On the other hand, most of us have moved on and are doing well.  While I miss the people, I know I’m in a good place and am happy with the new opportunities that have come my way.

We can’t go back.  Even if we could, it wouldn’t be good for us.  But I sure wish I could fit into my high-school sized jeans.

The Sport of Shopping

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vera bag

“Listen to this”, I said to Hubby while reading the Sunday paper at our favorite coffee spot.  The article listed a number of unusual interview questions that candidates had reported answering.  I started reading the list out loud to Hubby.  “What three things would you take to a desert island?”  “If you had to describe yourself as a breakfast cereal, what kind would you be?” and “Are you a hunter or a gatherer?”

“Well, at least the last one’s easy! “ I said.  “I’m a hunter.”

Hubby let out a loud snort.  “Since when? You practically wrote the definition of gatherer! ”

I’ve been told this hunter-gatherer comparison goes back to prehistoric times, when it was the cave man’s business to hunt and the cave woman’s business to gather – or something like that.  In today’s world, a gatherer is the last thing a business woman wants to be called.

Shocked at this blatant disrespect for my keen business acumen, of course I became defensive.  My insides were screaming, my stilettos were stomping as if to say, “I am too a hunter!” But I tried to stay poised and focused.

Instead, I started listing the reasons why I’m a hunter.  That’s what we hunter’s do, right?  We stay calm. We identify the problem, quickly outline solutions and make a decision.  Ready, aim, fire!

Hubby tried to soothe me.  “I agree that you’re a good businessperson; I’m just saying that you like to gather all the information first.  Just like you do when you go shopping; you want to make sure you’ve seen all the options before making a purchase decision. That’s why I can go to the grocery store much more quickly and efficiently than you can,” he smiled, and went back to reading the sports.

Shopping is my forte – talk about being an expert!  If shopping were an Olympic sport I’d have at least one gold medal. We sat in silence, although I’m not sure Hubby was aware of the storm brewing.

Determined to prove him wrong, I volunteered to go to Sam’s for our weekly shopping.   While it wasn’t a business situation, I was determined to show him that I was indeed a hunter.  Chicken, toilet paper and dog treats; I estimated in and out in fifteen minutes, even if I stopped to taste the food samples along the way.

Arriving at the store sans Hubby, I started out quickly, heading towards the chicken when something colorful down a side aisle caught my eye. Several women were gathered around.   My cart veered toward the colors before I knew what happened.

It was an awesome “special purchase” of designer tote bags, one of those rare finds that required quick action or they would be gone before you knew it.  Quickly determining the best colors, I snatched two for my cart and left the melee that was ensuing, figuring I could find a calmer aisle to choose a color.

I decided to keep moving while pondering the colors, and in a moment of shopping brilliance I pulled out my smart phone.  Suddenly I was “Super Gatherer”, scouring different sites for information and offers on the same tote bag.  Up and down the aisles I went, comparing offers and available colors, the sample ladies fueling me with snacks along the way.

Hubby called, wondering where I was.  “You’re still at the store?” he exclaimed. “What happened? Are you okay?”  

Kind of hard to explain that I’m a hunter, not a gatherer, when I had spent the past forty-five minutes roaming the store with two tote bags in my cart, eating free snacks, while I surfed the web for a better deal on the same item.

It was the snacks, I tell you!  They are evil.

Making my decision, I quickly checked out and headed for home, pulling into the garage at the same time as Hubby.

“Show me this special tote bag”, he said, knowing better than to say anything about the time spent.

“It’s the perfect color”, I gushed.  “You’ll love it when it gets here this week – I decided to order one in a different color online.”

Hubby shook his head and went inside.  In his “hunter” world, he would have seen the item, decided it was a good value, selected a color from those available, paid for the item and left the store.

Well, all I’ve got to say is there’s not much sport in that now, is there?

Why Is It So Difficult To Simplify?

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When I welcomed 2014, I stated that this was going to be my year to “simplify”.  Everything from de-cluttering my desk, learning to eat better, to simplifying my job search – making things simple would be my focus.

Hubby doesn’t think the word “simplify” is in my vocabulary, saying I have a slight tendency to complicate matters.  I disagree.  It’s just that he and I look at something and see it very differently.

When he says, “Let’s run to the grocery store”, he sees a quick trip to pick up groceries.  I see a multi-step process that includes an inventory of the pantry and refrigerator, making a list and checking recipes for ingredients that need to be included on the list, and visits to three different stores.  Hardly a simple task if you ask me.

Hubby is guilty of complicating things too.  When we were newlyweds, Hubby volunteered to clean the bathrooms in our apartment while I tackled the kitchen, the dusting and the vacuuming.   I had finished my chores and went to check on his progress, figuring he’d be taking a nap.

To say he took scrubbing seriously is an understatement.  Standing in the tub in his tighty-whities, the bathroom shone.  But he hadn’t finished one bathroom in the time it took me to clean the rest of the apartment.  Talk about over-complicating something – we didn’t have to eat in there; just shower!

So here I am in now 2014 trying to simplify – and it seems like I’m failing miserably.  My desk remained clean for a day; now a pile of stuff has mysteriously appeared.   What’s up with that?

Simplify – it’s one stinkin’ word!  I have an MBA and years of experience. Why can’t I make any progress?

So I decided to do something about it.  I made a “To Do List”.

It’s beautiful.  It’s organized. It should be laminated.  Yet it’s so long that it certainly doesn’t look very “simple”.

On the top of this lengthy list: Fix our high-tech tank-less water heater, which started intermittently shutting off.  There is nothing like enjoying a steaming hot shower with your hair full of suds, only to have the spa-like sensation ruined by an arctic blast of icy water.

When this happens, whoever is in the cold shower has to run across the house naked and dripping wet to pull the attic stair down, climb the stair and reset the water heater. This usually involves lots of cursing.  The dog runs along too, thinking this is some sort of new game.

Determined to tackle The List and simplify our morning routine – and because I was tired of being a human Popsicle – I did what I thought was the right thing: called the plumber.  After all, I’m a smart, educated, career woman, but I don’t have plumbing skills. 

Perhaps I should have plumbing skills.  After about an hour of the plumber’s time and my checkbook ringing up dollar signs, the plumber asked if I had called the equipment manufacturer.

Uh, no; I’m smart – I’m simplifying things, so I called you.  Apparently I’m not as smart as I thought.

In my haste to simplify, I complicated my problem by failing to do a quick internet search which revealed a customer hotline with online chat.  How much simpler – and cheaper – can it get?

The plumber spent about an hour on the phone with the manufacturer, pressing buttons and running diagnostics; all things I could have done myself.   After he left, I consulted with a neighbor who had similar experience with his water heater.  And as luck – or fate, or karma, or whatever – would have it, the problem is not so simple to fix.  It has to do with weather and gas pressure and temperature differentials.

Hubby came home and I was happy to report that I had tackled one of the items on The List. I was proud to share my new-found knowledge of our water heater, recommending that we take our neighbors’ advice rather than spend more money with the plumber.

The good news: I’ve crossed one thing off The List that will simplify our morning routine.  The bad news:  Looks like there are about 100 more things to on the list.

I guess simplifying things is just complicated.