Vacation!

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Polihale Beach on Kauai, Hawaii

It’s been a long, stressful week that included a family emergency.  Good news is, everyone is doing well.  Bad news is that it was not conducive to writing.  Since I feel like I need a vacation, I’m running an “oldie but goodie” for your enjoyment. 

Ahhh…vacation!  The time to get away from it all. To refresh and re-energize.  Yep, I’m one of “those” people, the kind who believes in taking a true vacation to get away from everything for a week or so.  No checking email, no calling the office.  I tell the people I work with, “If the building burns, save yourself and tell me about it when I get back”.  No sense telling me when I’m not there to do anything about it.

Never have understood the concept of a “working vacation” either – isn’t that an oxymoron?  If I’m going to spend the money for a vacation I want to enjoy it – sans work.

Funny thing is that my family didn’t really take vacations.  A couple times we accompanied dad on a business trip to Florida; along the way we’d wait for him in the car or at a restaurant while he called on clients, eventually ending up at the beach for a couple days.  Every few years Sis and I would go to Grandma’s in Minnesota, but that was it.  No weekends at the lake, no ski vacations, no trips just for fun.

I learned about the beauty of a vacation after business school, when I had friends living in other cities.  Those friends would say, “Come visit sometime” – and whether they meant it or not, I took them up on the offer.  (Note to all of you: if you say “come visit”, know that at some point I will do just that)

It wasn’t always easy for me to take a vacation.  I was (and sometimes still am) plagued by worries: what if something “big” happens while I’m gone? What if someone needs me? What if, what if, what if?

Early on I had a great boss who heard me lamenting the “what ifs” and wisely told me, “There is NOTHING that will happen in your absence that we can’t fix when you get back”.   Logic told me she was right and I’ve tried to remember that ever since.

Last week was it – vacation time!  An entire week of fun at our favorite resort with no work in sight, and it was beyond great.  Vacation Brain kicked in for both Hubby and I as soon as we left for the airport, a definite signal that it was time to relax. We read, talked, swam, lounged and were generally lazy.  Work Brain was nowhere to be seen, as it should be during vacation.

As with all good things, our trip came to an end far too soon and my Vacation Brain reluctantly started powering down while my Work Brain tried to wake from a nice nap.  At the airport, Work Brain said it would be a good idea to download my emails so I could at least scan them on the plane.  Sounded logical, so I tried to log-on.  Note I said “tried” – for the life of me I couldn’t remember my log-in info.  Vacation Brain clearly was still in command.  After some time, I finally remembered and logged in – a small victory for Work Brain.

Hubby was having difficulty too.  Wanting to initiate a call with a co-worker, he started to send an email with his cell phone number – but Vacation Brain forbade him from remembering his own number. Work Brain, unfortunately, reminded him that I had his phone number in my phone.

Once I was online, Work Brain commanded that I look at my in-box. Yikes – how could one person have that many emails in just a week?  My mind raced as Vacation Brain was desperate to keep me in resort mode.  Looking at the subject lines, I tried to recall what I was working on when I left town.

My mind was sputtering, with a vague memory of some projects but not enough for the emails to make complete sense.  And who ARE all these people, wanting answers from me?  Do I work with them?  I could feel the tension in my head as Work Brain fought to recover information from a week ago, while Vacation Brain attempted to keep all that information hidden.

Back and forth, the battle for control raged in my head as I read the emails, trying to make sense of it all.  Once the plane landed, Work Brain started a victory dance, knowing that as soon as we exited the jet way Vacation Brain was history.

Sigh. Why is it always like this? Within seconds of returning from vacation, it’s as though we never left at all.  I enjoy my work but I really do cherish the little bit of vacation I take and I would love for the feeling to last longer than a nanosecond.

Good news is the office didn’t burn.  At least I don’t think it did.

A Phone Call Changes Everything

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Phone

It’s usually not a good thing when the phone rings before 8:00 am.  Mom sounded nervous, telling me she didn’t feel well.  Hubby and I raced her to the doctor, and then to the ER.  Losing feeling and movement in any part of your body is not good.

Tests were started in the ER and when it was determined her condition was stable, we transferred to a room and waited while they took more tests.  And waited, and waited….

The waiting seemed so long.  My only solace was texting Hubby who had gone to work, or watching TV, scrolling through Facebook or playing solitaire.  I had rushed out of the house that morning with just my handbag and phone; thank goodness I had a charger with me.

The good news is that her hand showed improvement within hours.  Bad news is that this happened on a Friday and weekends are definitely not a good time to be in a hospital – ask anyone who’s been there.  Skeleton staff makes it almost impossible to get tests done and read.   Not sure why they don’t have a full team that works weekends too.  Illness doesn’t take a holiday.

More good news; mom is improving and is now at our house.  Her hand, while not 100%, continues to show signs of improvement.  Tests revealed no major issues.  This was clearly a fluke, and she was lucky.

I had lots of time to think during those days in the hospital.  Too much time, in fact.  Thinking about mom, wondering how I’m going to help her without taking independence away; how am I going to “not worry” about her?  It’s sobering to realize that her life – my life – changed with one phone call.

What I didn’t think about during this time was work.  Funny how that happens.  I had worked late for three nights leading up to this, completely stressed-out about things. While I was sitting in the hospital, I honestly couldn’t tell you what I had been working on that week or why it had seemed so important.

A phone call, that’s all it took to get perspective.  Suddenly I would have given anything to simply be stressed out from work.  That would be easy.  Sitting in a hospital with your loved one is not.

There’s not even any hospital drama or shenanigans like you see on Grey’s Anatomy.  At least that would have been a distraction!  Where’s a hot doctor when you need one? And the Grey’s Anatomy hospital seems to be fully staffed every day and at all hours.  Hardly real-life.

So what’s my point?  I guess I don’t really have a fun business story today.  Except to say that wherever you are in your career – happy with work, not happy, laid off and looking – remember to keep work in perspective.  It’s important, but other things are more important.

One phone call is all it takes to change your life in an instant.  And trust me, you won’t care anymore about work, the stress, the pay, the coworkers, the clients – anything.

The Millennial Hustle

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graduation

Remember the glorious days of college?  The stay-out-late nights despite early morning classes? I was rarely concerned with lack of sleep because I knew that I had to focus just long enough to make it through the class.  Yes, there was the intense course work and late night study sessions too, but they were just temporary.  We always had a holiday or a summer break to look forward to. 

Reality came crashing in during my first job after graduation when I realized there was no “break”.  Work was five days a week, fifty-two weeks a year – minus a miniscule two-week vacation and the occasional company holiday. 

I remember thinking, “Where’s my semester break?  What do you mean; we only get one day off at Christmas?” 

Today’s post is written by a young friend-of-a-friend who is just starting out.  He’s experiencing a similar reality-check, although he seems to be working through it a bit better than I did.  I believe I went to the mall to ask Santa for my holidays back. 

What’s interesting about this young man is that he seems to defy the Millennial stereotype, the one that says new graduates feel and act entitled to a job.  Rather than wait for someone to hand him a job, this guy is hustling, working hard now for future opportunities. Even if that means giving up his summer break.

With that kind of attitude, his future looks bright.  See for yourself.

Graduates: The Summer is Not Yours

By Noah Smith; Class of 2013 

I think my journey from full time student to steady employment is one that truly illustrates what today’s graduates go through when leaving college and stepping into the real world.

Students everywhere are studying for finals and going for a late night snack one day, and then they’re at home on the computer looking for jobs the next.

My last day of college, I finished working at 4 a.m. left my nametag and went back to finish packing up my car. Done by around 5:10 a.m., I finalized the paperwork with the night clerk and left for home at 5:30 a.m.

Within the week, the next stage in life had begun: the endless hunt for jobs and internships. I searched job sites for anything in my major and would open a new tab on my browser every time I found a potential opening. When I had more than15 tabs open I would look at them all, ensuring that I fit the requirements of each and would approve of the job. Finally, I would apply for them. I did this everyday and at first completed two to four a day; when I had the flow down, I got about five done.

I did this the majority of the time, May through July, minus my five-week class and the weekend. Of course, I would eat, try to exercise some days and watch YouTube videos– but looking for a job was my job. It was not the best summer I have ever had but looking back, I realize two things: I should have enjoyed my summer more, yet if I didn’t work as hard as I did, I would not have found the positions I now hold.

That’s the inevitable truth that graduates have to face: you can frolic in the summer wind and enjoy it all or you can face truth and know that the summer break is not yours. You have to work to get what you want and put in the hours to reap the reward. Facing reality is the next step after graduating, and then comes the job or internship.

Nevertheless, over the course of this summer I earned five interviews after applying for more than 60. Some I was qualified for and others I wasn’t, it’s the name of the game. Sometimes you have to keep putting your name out there, practicing and perfecting what to say in every email and every cover letter. By the end, you start to discover what gets a response and what fails to capture the reader’s attention. After I sent my cover letter to multiple companies, I started getting better with the wording and how to present myself.

At the end of all that work, I earned two internships and one job. The work was well worth it and I’m satisfied with my current employment. It shows that if you want something badly enough then you will put the energy and time in. I wanted it badly enough, I wanted to graduate within four years and get a job.

I succeeded in both; like I said to my boss, I’m young so I have to keep hustling to get what I desire. There will always be next summer to enjoy the weather. You never know, maybe I will be someplace tropical next summer enjoying my time off.

 

If My Alarm Clock Is The Key To Success, I May As Well Go Back To Bed

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Alarm clock

I’m a night-owl by nature.  My body clock is set so that I get a natural rush of energy in the late afternoon.  When most of my coworkers are winding down, I’m revving up to crank out the work.  This happens again around 9 pm. If I’m not careful, I can easily be up until midnight or later.

Hubby is programmed the same way.  The good news is that our wake/sleep schedules are compatible. The bad news is that our snooze alarms go off for at least an hour in the morning.  Prying us out of bed is next to impossible.  The dog has given up on ever getting her breakfast at a decent hour.

We’ve tried everything to switch our body clocks but have come to the realization that we are night people.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Except Forbes just wrote a piece that basically says to be super successful one has to be an early riser, stating that morning people have been found to be more productive and proactive than those of us who prefer to work in the evening.

According to the article, this is a common trait among CEO’s, government officials and other influential people.  Examples of successful early risers include Margaret Thatcher, Frank Lloyd Wright and Disney CEO Roger Iger.

Well, I can explain these three: Margaret Thatcher lived in London where the weather is all sorts of gloomy.  If she wanted to see the sun she probably had to watch it rise.  Frank Lloyd Wright was living outside at his various Taliesin sites, communing with nature to create the perfect building.  And Roger Iger has to be up; he’s got all those kids and parents pounding at the park gates to get in to the rides.

To entice us to be more successful, Forbes lists 5 things super successful people do before 8 am.  I’m here to tell you why this will not work.

EXERCISE

Forbes says: Exercising before work gives you a boost of energy for the day and that deserved sense of accomplishment. Anyone can tackle a pile of paperwork after 200 ab reps! Morning workouts also eliminate the possibility of flaking out on your cardio after a long day at work.

I Say: First, it’s difficult and dangerous to exercise when you are still asleep.  Treadmills and weights require a certain amount of attention.  Besides, my hair looks terrible and I smell bad in the morning.  The only sense of accomplishment I get from a morning workout is that I get to pick up a cappuccino and donut on the way home, negating the positive effect of the workout. So you can see why exercising in the morning is a bad idea.

MAP OUT YOUR DAY

Forbes says: Basically what they mean is to get your to-do list and thoughts in order during the quiet time before others are up and at the office.  With uninterrupted time, you can also solve some problems.  They also suggest planning a 10 minute break in your schedule to walk around the block or meditate during the day.

I say:  So I’m supposed to sleep peacefully trying to remember the stuff to put on my to-do list in the morning? Sounds like a nightmare to me. Better to scribble to-dos on a Post-It and stick on my computer before leaving the office.  Ever try meditating at work? Especially in a cubicle?  The stares from co-workers and comments like, “Is she alive?” are not conducive to becoming one with the office and at peace with that nasty to-do list.

EAT A HEALTHY BREAKFAST

Forbes says: Take extra time in the morning to fuel your body for the tasks ahead of it. It will help keep your mind on what’s at hand and not your growling stomach.

I say: Would love to have time for this, Forbes.  I’ll get back to you when I get a personal chef to cook for me.  Right now I’ll have to stick with to-go items like granola bars and coffee in a travel mug, or if I’m lucky a piece of toast.  Even the dog is happy if I just remember to throw some kibble in her bowl.

VISUALIZATION

Forbes says: Take a moment to visualize your day ahead of you, focusing on the successes you will have. Even just a minute of visualization and positive thinking can help improve your mood and outlook on your work load for the day.

I say: I’ve nailed this one.  In fact, I’m visualizing my day right now.  It’s going to be crazy busy, with the phones ringing off the hook, an in-box with 100 emails and a series of unplanned meetings that rip my to-do list out of my hands.  Somehow this visualization exercise has not improved my mood.  Duh.

MAKE YOUR DAY TOP HEAVY

Forbes says: Here’s an easy tip to save yourself the stress – do that least desirable task on your list first. …. The morning is the time when you are (generally) more well-rested and your energy level is up. Therefore, you are more well-equipped to handle more difficult projects. And look at it this way, your day will get progressively easier, not the other way around. By the time your work day is ending, you’re winding down with easier to dos and heading into your free time more relaxed. Success!

I Say:  Here’s a better idea: let’s just forget about that least desirable task altogether, shall we? First thing in the morning I haven’t had enough coffee yet to read the paper much less handle anything important and undesirable.  Besides, my entire day is heavy.  Sweeping that task under the rug isn’t going to hurt anyone, is it?  Out of sight and out of mind equals success, right?

I certainly respect Forbes’ POV on this subject.  But I’m sure you agree that my way is better.

If U Cn Rd This Msg U R Old

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I was just told by a team member that I’m old.   Not in so many words, but the underlying message was there. No doubt about it.

It happened during an IM-Skype conversation at work, which seems ridiculous to me since we sit about ten feet away.  Not sure why we Skype instead of walking over to chat in person.  It’s the culture of the organization and of course I want to fit in, so I Skype away like everyone else.

Something of importance to this story is that I happen to be a bit more “mature” than many of the employees, and definitely older than this team member.

This particular conversation was nothing special; a mixture of work and side comments when suddenly it turned on me.  She had misspelled a word and was trying to explain herself.  I’ll let you take a look:

Her – oops; im terrible at typing

Me – typing or spelling?

Her – it’s because Im too dependent on spell check

Me – you youngsters! How about a dictionary?

Her – I know; it’s pathetic

To which I typed a humorous response in what I thought was “IM-approved” lingo:

“u r rt, oldr peeps r so annoying”

Her reply?

“Ha! My aunt texts like that – it’s hilarious!”

What?!  Did she just call me out as being “uncool”?  I think it’s worse than that; she thinks I’m old!

Augh!  I don’t want to be hilarious like her aunt, who’s got to be way older than I am.  More importantly, I don’t want to appear “old”.  Hmph.  Just when I think I’ve become an accepted member of the team, and now they think I’m old.

But I can’t be that old.  Not only am I on Skype but my Twitter feed is pinging away with new followers and my latest Pinterest board is on fire. Geez.

If the ability to spell without spellcheck makes me old, then I guess I am. I just never realized that spelling was “old school”.

Bt u cn rd this txt, cnt u?

Ha! You’re old too.

Career Do-Overs

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Success and Failure Road Sign with dramatic clouds and sky.

Recently I was a panel member for a discussion with graduate business students.  These discussions are always interesting – I’m just as interested in the answers from the other panel members as the students.

This discussion topic was something I had not talked about before with a group.  The question posed: “What has been your biggest career mistake?”

Wow! I asked the moderator how much time we had.  Speaking for myself, I knew that it could take a while to sort out all of the mistakes I’ve made throughout my career.

Luckily we had been given warning of the topic.  All four panel members, including myself, had a written list of career mistakes we wanted to share.

One by one, we told of our mistakes, our embarrassments, our failures.  We each had, at one time or another, wished for a career “do-over” – one of those things where you say, “If I had a chance to do it over, I would….”

Note that this was not a sad or depressing conversation.  We were all smiling and sometimes laughing.  It’s always easier to laugh at your own mistakes after the fact, when time has passed and we are wiser.

The most amazing thing to me is that all four of us had pretty much made the same mistakes, and we had the same messages for the students.

Learn to manage people.  This is not something that is taught in school, nor is there much training once you get into the real world.  Managing people is critical to your success at work.  Note that this includes managing your relationships with co-workers, as well as “managing up” – making sure you are communicating effectively with your boss.

Managing your boss means communicating on a regular basis to let him know what you are doing, what you need and to clarify what you believe his expectations are.  One panel member described a boss who was so poor at communicating his direction that she learned how to break it down for him and would list out exactly what she thought she heard.  He appreciated her efforts, and although it took a bit of effort on her part it helped her succeed.

Think long-term, not short-term, when it comes to job opportunities.  One panel member shared how he had a long-term goal for himself in terms of advancement.  His company offered him an opportunity that, in his mind, was a lower title and on the surface appeared to be a backward move.  He thought that accepting the opportunity would make it appear that he had been demoted, so he let his ego think for him and he declined the offer.  

Looking back, he now realizes that he missed an opportunity to learn a new part of the business and that accepting the “lower” job would have allowed him to achieve his career goal about five years sooner.   Lesson here: don’t be so focused on the short-term; step back and look at what the long-term implications might be.

The world is very small.  And guess what? It’s even smaller in your field of work. As we’ve advanced in our careers and built our professional networks, it’s become crystal clear that there are fewer than six degrees of separation between you and your next opportunity.

One panel member explained that in her field it’s not uncommon for people to leave or get laid-off, go to other jobs, and then a few years later come back to the same company.   At her new company she now is working with some of the same people she met years ago at a different company.  This is a classic example of “never burn bridges”.  You never know who you might end up working with again.

Make mistakes!  Know that you are going to make mistakes – we all do at some point.  The key to making mistakes at work and surviving is to learn from them and not to repeat them.  It’s also important to own your mistakes – accept responsibility and offer a solution to make it right.  When you make a mistake, alert the boss.  While this may sound counter-intuitive, it’s a critical part of “managing up”. Make your boss aware of the situation so he can be part of the solution.

These are all great tips and I thank my panelist-friends for sharing. But I haven’t told you about my mistake.   Here goes:  Early in my career I had a friend call with a lead on a job at a start-up firm.  I wasn’t making much money at the time but rationalized it away with the prestige my job offered.  Not to mention business trips overseas which, I argued at the time, could be considered part of my salary.

Instead of at least listening to what the new company had to offer, I didn’t even apply or try to talk to them.   Whether I would have accepted a job at the start-up is beside the point.  I turned them down before they even made me an offer.   The regret-filled “would-have”, “could-have” and “should-have” questions have followed me throughout my career.

Since that fateful mistake, I have made myself open to opportunities, even just talking and listening.  I don’t have to accept but at least I don’t turn a job down before they make me an offer.

What was this start-up that still has me thinking, “What if?”  Dell Computers.  It would have been a chance to get in on the ground floor, complete with stock options.

Now I think you can understand the impact of my mistake.  At least my retirement plan and bank account do.

Random Acts of Mentoring

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Airports and air travel fascinate me.  First, I’m still thrilled to get on a plane.  The fun of going away to see something different has not diminished, even though I have to undress in the security line to get to the gate.

Then there’s people watching.  Airports are THE BEST for this!  Viewing the fashion statements is enough to keep me occupied for hours, with everything from tuxedos to tank tops.

Most recently I had the “privilege” of seeing a woman dressed as Batman (or should I say “Batwoman”) including the cape.  No, it was not Halloween.  She even carried a colorful posterboard sign that said, “Ka-Pow!” which she would hold in front of people’s faces and shout the words.  Fun to watch, but sadly she sat behind me on the flight and Ka-Pow got old after the first time.

As I was standing in the airport terminal at my gate, I was mesmerized by the orchestration of planes, people and luggage.  Like a well-oiled machine planes came in, refueled, loaded/unloaded people and baggage, and take off again.

Okay, sometimes the system isn’t perfect – planes are delayed and luggage decides to go to a different destination – but it really is phenomenal that this is happening day-in and day-out, all over the world.

Wonder what the Wright brothers would think if they could see this?  Did they ever imagine that their one flight – in front of naysayers – would eventually turn into a world-wide travel system that we completely take for granted?

You never know exactly how your actions might impact someone else.  Your passion could make a difference to one person, a group, a neighborhood or the world.  Who knows?

And you may not actually see the impact.  But you have to know and believe that it’s there. If you’re lucky you might see a glimpse of it. Hopefully those you impact will understand the value and make an impact of their own.

We don’t need to be as innovative as the Wright brothers to leave a legacy; simply find something that interests you.  It could be a passion for science and research that allows you to work towards a cure for a disease; a love of animals could turn into a pet-related service or business; volunteering anywhere provides much-needed resources.

For me, my passions are many, but there is one that stands tall above the rest – mentoring. Particularly college students about to embark on their careers.

As a mentor, my goal is to listen first, then share my experience to help the students on their career journey.  I’ m passionate about it for several reasons, mainly because a mentor is something I wish I’d had.  It would have been great to have had access to an experienced mentor working in my field of interest when I was in school and throughout my career.

The students I’ve met are seriously smart, courteous, engaging and fun to be with.  They actually think my career is cool, or awesome, or whatever it is kids say nowadays.  I don’t have all the answers to their questions and am not there to solve problems, but to guide them to success. Together we talk and strategize and come up with a possible plan of action.

My mentees know they can call me with any question and I’ll give them a straight-forward answer. Even if it’s one they don’t want to hear.

I’m luckier than the Wright brothers. While I may not impact the entire world, I get a sneak peek at the impact I’m making, one student at a time.  And I love it.

Love Me; Love My Personality

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Box with a Hamburger and French Fries

My first job outside of babysitting was at McDonalds.  It was a dream job for me at that time in my life – a teenager working at a fast-food restaurant, with free meals.  Heaven!

My biggest challenge at this job, aside from the fact that I was not even five feet tall and looked like I was twelve, was that I was shy and unsure of myself. McDonalds needed outgoing and confident. 

In an attempt to mold me into the model employee, the manager had me stand a good distance back from the register watching for the front door to open.  As soon as a customer set one foot in the door, I had to shout, “Welcome to McDonalds! May I take your order?” 

While no one was particularly upset with this aggressive approach, I did encounter a few snickers as customers were hoping to actually get inside before being pressured into making a burger decision that could affect the rest of their day.

At my first job out of grad school, I had to learn to become even more decisive and assertive as I took charge of my department.

Neither of these jobs really changed my personality – I actually already had it in me; I just needed the confidence to find my voice.

And find my voice I did.  As I gained experience and matured, my personality came out of its shell.  Gone is the girl who was too shy to say much in the halls at high school, letting others take the lead;  she’s been replaced with a woman who is not afraid to introduce herself to strangers, state her opinions, take charge and make decisions.

Those who know me now think I’ve always been this way, shouting hamburger greetings to customers before they step in the door.

My confident and assertive personality characteristics have served me well in life as well as my career.  In fact it’s one of the reasons I am hired.

Yet there are times when I feel pressure to modify my personality – especially at work – in an attempt to match the expectations of others.  Those around me want my personality and all that comes with it; they just want it to appear only when it serves them best.

I’ve got to say that this doesn’t work for me.  And believe me, I’ve tried.  It’s as though what makes me “me” is valued only as long as it can be tweaked

In this day and age it seems like everyone wants a lukewarm personality; one that’s neither hot nor cold, but watered down.  More passive than assertive; one that’s always trying to say or do or be what others expect of them.

That’s like walking on eggshells to me, trying to figure out the right words for fear of being received the wrong way.   The result?  At best, unclear communications; at worst, employees who are afraid of being themselves and showing their true personality.

Why can’t we just be ourselves, with the personality package that the employer wanted in the first place? You know, “Love me, love my personality”?

I started noticing this trend some years ago and hoped it was just the company I was at or possibly a phase.  Unfortunately it’s becoming the norm.

Not sure if it’s the result of the millennial generation who never heard the word “no”, with every person receiving praise and a trophy no matter how poorly they performed, or if it’s just our culture evolving because we are too afraid to say what we mean (in an appropriate tone, of course) for fear of being politically “incorrect”.

Whatever it is, I long for the days of direct communication without fear.  How great would it be to know that it’s okay to be stern, happy, serious, excited, frustrated, and even, if the situation warrants, mad, at the office?  

Like my first job at McDonald’s, it’s time to remove the gloves and allow everyone to show off their true personalities.

Maybe we’d rediscover clear communication if we were allowed to express ourselves.  Wouldn’t that be something?

Never Give Up: A Lesson From Animal House

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Stressed

One of my favorite movies of all time is Animal House.  I have watched this movie so many times that I can recite almost the entire movie from memory.

It’s one of those all-too-rare films that figured out the right formula of cast, story and inappropriateness to make a truly funny movie that is as relevant today as it was the day it opened at the box office.  Anyone who has been to college can relate to the antics of the Delta House fraternity brothers simply trying to have as much fun as possible while getting an education.

Okay, they weren’t really trying too hard on the academic front, but that’s why it’s so funny. 

The late John Belushi played a lead character named Bluto who lived college on the edge, not a care in the world, sort of rabble-rouser who was always at the center of trouble – usually as a leader.   The group wreaks so much havoc on campus that eventually the fraternity is stripped of its association with the university.  Reality comes crashing down on Bluto and his pals as university officials take possession of everything in the fraternity house.

Sitting in an empty frat house, everyone is completely down in the dumps as they realize that the partying is over.  While the fraternity members are lamenting their fate saying, “It’s over; there’s nothing else we can do”, Bluto, in a rare moment of true leadership, stands up to give an incorrect yet invigorating speech.

“Over? It’s not over!  Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”

His well-intentioned speech is so passionate that the entire fraternity is energized into action, taking control of what they can.  The message was: Never Give Up.

We won’t go into the chaos that ensued due to this passion.  Rent the movie to see for yourself.

I was thinking about Bluto’s speech recently.  Overwhelmed with so much to do – career, writing, mentoring and family – it was like I hit a road block and could not figure out how to manage everything.  Everything was caving in on me with no escape.  So intense were my feelings that I could not think of a solution to turn things around.   It felt like I was sitting in the ill-fated Delta House; with no solution as to how to get out of the mess.

How many of us experience similar feelings throughout our career?  In speaking with friends and colleagues, it seems like this is more common that we’d like to believe.

Sometimes we feel trapped in a job, with no way out.  Other times we can’t figure out how to find the positive in a situation.  Many times we become mired in negativity; paralyzed and unable to think or move.   We think that there is no viable solution.  So we sit and do nothing; thinking  it’s over.

But it’s not over.  (This is where the “Germans bombing Pearl Harbor” speech comes in) We should never give up.

It’s easy to get lost when we are so close to the problem, isn’t it?  Sometimes what we need is a great impassioned speech – or maybe a swift kick in the rear – to help get us back on track.  We can either do it ourselves by taking two giant steps back from the situation to think about whatever the real problem is, or we can enlist the help of a friend who is objective enough to help point us in the right direction.

Hubby did this for me as we walked the dog.  Close enough to care about me but objective enough to not get caught up in the details; he was able to look at the problem differently than I had been.  And it was immensely helpful.

Just like Bluto’s plea in Animal House, Hubby’s speech was passionate, offering a unique plan of action that I had not thought of myself.   He reminded me to never give up; that it’s not “over”.

And luckily, Hubby knows his history, so I didn’t have to listen to a well-intentioned but incorrect history lesson.   Although such a speech would have made me laugh.

Time to Leave

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Woman Having Birthday at Work

Hubby and I love parties!  Friends, music, eating and entertainment all in one place.  And we are sticklers for party etiquette.  We try to arrive slightly after the start time to allow the host time to be ready.  And our goal is to leave the party while we – and the host – are still having a good time.  No one wants to be “that person”; the one who’s the last to leave, over-staying their welcome and still partying while the hosts have changed into pajamas and turned out the lights.

It’s relatively easy to know when to leave a party since they have a definite beginning and end.  A job, on the other hand, is a different story.

How do you know when it’s time to move on to the next opportunity?  Is it a certain number of years, or the desire for a promotion; the need for more money or simply boredom?  A shorter commute, perhaps?

All of those are valid reasons.  It’s really a personal decision, and each of us needs to determine what suits our needs, wants and desires.   Here are a few to get you started.

You Know It’s Time To Leave Your Job When:

  • The first thing you do Monday morning is program your Outlook calendar to countdown the days, hours, minutes and seconds until 5:00 pm Friday
  • You’ve been at the company for so long and lived through so many RIFs that everything has come full-circle: the people who were laid-off in the first round have returned as the newest hires
  • Before you get your first morning cup of coffee you’re planning where to go for lunch
  • Looking back at the original office directory, you are the only one on the list that’s still with the company
  • You know the entire cafeteria menu by heart, including prices and the staff know exactly what you will order without asking
  • Although an early adopter of LinkedIn, your profile has cobwebs due to lack of updates
  • The company loyalty program is named after you [the annual company loyalty award is named after you]
  • The new CEO asks for the company history and they call you

While these are great signs, sometimes the decision to leave is not that simple.  What if they don’t fit your particular situation?  In that case, take time – away from work – to clear your head and consider how you feel about your current job.  Ask yourself what you like about the company and the things that drive you crazy.  Most importantly, determine if you like the actual work.  Sometimes the work is great; it’s simply the environment that’s making you cray-cray.

Whatever the reason, just remember to leave the party while you’re still having fun and before anyone puts on their pj’s.   Now that would be awkward.