Dream On

by -

Still thinking about my niece’s college graduation.  I’m bursting with pride that she achieved her goal. She busted her butt, taking heavy course loads and extremely difficult classes.  Classes that I would have run from before ever purchasing the book.  And she was beaming as she received her diploma.  At least I think she was beaming; it was hard to tell given that we were seated on the far end of the arena. Either she was happy, or she was embarrassed that her cheering section jumped up and screamed so loudly that it echoed. I think we may have scared those sitting calmly around us. My apologies.

I remember feeling like my niece. One of my best memories is graduating from college and feeling like I had just finished the hardest, longest, most kick-butt marathon ever. Receiving my masters’ degree was even more thrilling – a newly minted degree and my dream job waiting for me once I stepped outside.  Seemed like the world was full of opportunities.

I’m a bit concerned about the new robes I saw at the graduation, especially in today’s economy.  I’m wondering how many of them have a job waiting for them.  As a board member for a collegiate graduate program, I know that many choose to continue their education simply due to the scarcity of jobs these days.  It’s hard to bask in the recognition that comes with a robe when all you really want is to put the knowledge to use and start your career.  Continuing to grad school also creates an issue for those who must have a graduate degree to pursue their dreams, such as my niece. Now she’s in competition once again simply to get in to a graduate program.

This also raises concerns for those of us already in the work force, especially for anyone in lay-off land. Now we’ve got to compete for jobs with this new batch of robes.  They’re smart¸ ambitious and full of energy. They have yet to be jaded from years of working long hours for dwindling benefits without much recognition.  Oh, I know; it’s just a matter of time before they experience the feeling of burnout.  But still, it’s competition right now for the thousands of unemployed.  I could argue that experience can outweigh academic “smarts”, except that in the real world youth plus new degree equals high level job, even if it’s low paying.

I’ve spoken with both sides of the equation about this situation.  Friends and former colleagues who are considered veterans in their fields are having trouble finding work.  For those of us who have pieced together work after being laid-off, many are underemployed (translation: low title and low pay) or are in a job that doesn’t suit us yet we can’t afford to leave.  Desperate to find something better, the competition is fierce with these new robes vying for the same jobs.

The students are concerned too.  Many are forced to work multiple unpaid internships before finding a company that will hire them – and actually pay them.  Wow. I’m not talking about students who skated by with barely passing grades either.  Even my niece, who was a T.A. as well as a leader in numerous college organizations, participated in an academic mission trip, has hands-on work experience and whose grades are what I would consider stellar, is concerned simply about getting into a graduate program to continue toward her dream career.

One thing I do know is that we all – new robes and career veterans – have the opportunity to make our career dreams come true despite the economy and anything else that might get in our way.  That may mean accepting a job with a lower title and salary than we’re used to, or for new grads it may mean bunking with the parents while working an unpaid internship. It’s all about getting experience, no matter how insignificant or tough it may seem at the time. 

As my favorite new philosopher Steven Tyler of Aerosmith fame said recently, “You have to have a dream in order to realize the dream”.  Well said, Steven.  Rock on, graduates.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Robe Envy

by -

There had to be 1,500 robes walking solemnly into the ceremony. The arena was hushed as parents, relatives and friends watched the procession.  Occasionally a camera flash pierced the silence.  One by one, the robes took their place and the ceremony began.  This would be one of five such ceremonies over two days.  Yikes; that’s a lot of robes.
My niece was in one of those robes. It was her college commencement.  Hard to believe she’s old enough to graduate from college, and with a degree that is way more difficult than mine.  I could tell from the dangling cords decorating her robe that she was a member of an honor society.  Something I never achieved during my collegiate years.
With six nieces and nephews, Hubby and I will be attending many commencement ceremonies over the next 15 years. That’s a lot of robes; many heartfelt commencement speeches by dignitaries; a lot of listening to “pomp and circumstance”. Wonder if we could get Aerosmith to play at one of these things? Sure would be different.
I loved watching the doctorate candidates, followed by masters and then bachelors, each in a robe.  It was then that I discovered I have robe-envy.  Sure, I have the masters and bachelors robes.  But I want the fancy robe, the one with the velvet trim and colored hood that comes with obtaining a PHD.  Since I have no aspirations to become a professor, the degree would have little significance for my career and wouldn’t lead to more money.  I just want to say I achieved the feat.  It would be fun to have my friends call me “doctor”.  And the robe itself is beyond coolness.
Honestly, I just want the recognition that comes with working hard to achieve a goal.  And to hear someone cheering for me.  That’s not too much to ask, is it?  Hubby says I should go for the robe and the PHD that goes with it, if I want to.  Still contemplating the idea of going back to school.  It’s been a while since I wrote an academic paper.  The idea of research makes me a bit nauseous.  Of course I guess it might be easier nowadays, with the Internet. No more nights at the library trying to figure out the Dewy Decimal System simply to get a book that turned out to be less than good.  I’m still mad at that Dewy guy.  And all that reading!  If it’s not a romance novel or People magazine, I’m not too interested any more. 
Still, the lure of the robe is tempting. The feeling of accomplishment that comes with achieving a goal. And the recognition from others that I did it.  I made it. My hard work paid off.  Recognition like this is rarely seen once you enter the work force.  If you’ve ever been laid off, you know that getting recognition for your work – no matter how small – is really valued. And missed when you’re without a job.
So yes, I’m considering the possibility – however remote – of attempting to get the fancy robe. 
In the meantime, I’ll have to settle for the recognition that comes with working hard and that my years of experience are valuable.  I may bling-out my bathrobe until I can get the fancy robe.  Go ahead and be jealous. Robe-envy is hard to shake.
© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Planning to Leave

by -

Hubby laughed at me last night.  This isn’t entirely unusual as some of the things I do and say are funny.  And Hubby has a quick wit; it doesn’t take much for him to break into laughter.

Although this time I was being serious.  Aside from my “real” work, I’m also the official travel agent for our family and I was diligently planning our summer vacation.  I’m usually the one that starts the initial conversation about vacation months in advance, as well as the one to push, prod, drag and otherwise coerce Hubby into getting with the program.  Don’t get me wrong; Hubby enjoys taking a vacation as much as I do. It’s just that he seems unable to focus on the planning of a vacation. 

In the back of his mind, Hubby knows that he wants to take a summer vacation. He even has a good idea of the dates he’d like to go on said vacation.  It’s just that since the trip is not imminent, meaning tomorrow, he doesn’t focus on it.  I’m pretty sure if I didn’t drive the vacation bus, Hubby would wait till the last minute and try to throw something together. (Must be a guy-thing) This would be OK if our standards were the same as they were when we were young without much money. We’d simply pack a tent to go camping or drive a couple hours to another city for a few nights in an economy-class motel.   Hubby disputes this last statement, as my camping days were pre-Hubby and he hasn’t actually seen me camp. But I have camped; I have pictures to prove it.

Hubby has learned that when it comes to vacations, economy class is not how I roll.  I’ve paid my dues; we make money now and I enjoy vacationing in style, a la “lifestyles of the rich and famous”.  That means staying at a four or five star resort, being treated like royalty and basking in the luxury.  I mean, why not?  If I can’t live that way year ‘round, then at least I can live that way for a week on vacation.  Good news is that Hubby has also become accustomed to this way of vacationing.

I had secured a week at our favorite resort and needed to tackle the airplane reservations.  Hubby had heard my pleas earlier in the day about finalizing the trip and he even suggested we sit down together to finish the job.  Sweet!  I don’t mind making the reservations but I’d really like his input.

We had a couple decisions to make. Do we take an early morning flight out to maximize our first day, since we’re going west? That’s a no-brainer; of course we do. We can be lounging at the pool by noon.  But what about our return flight?  We want to maximize our time away yet it’s always tough to arrive late at night and assimilate back into the “real world”.

All of a sudden I panicked as I envisioned our trip.  The glorious feeling of arriving, with a week laid out in front of us and nothing to do but relax.  As my mind wandered I envisioned the first few days of bliss, then my thoughts raced to the last couple of days, and the depressing feeling of leaving paradise to return to the grind took hold. A tear accidentally ran down my cheek.  Hubby looked at me, quite puzzled. “What’s wrong?” he asked.  “I’m already sad about leaving our vacation to return home”, I replied.  That’s when he started laughing.

“So you’re planning on leaving a vacation we haven’t started yet?” he said.  More laughter. Lots of teasing. “Only you would think like that”.  While I admit that I am unique in good ways, I certainly don’t want to be called out like this. 

Actually, planning to leave helps me.  If I can envision what it might be like, then it doesn’t seem to hurt as much when it actually happens.  I deal with lots of things that way.  I’m always planning and thinking about different scenarios – in work situations as well as life.

Planning to leave a work situation is something that everyone should do, in my opinion.  Whether I leave a job on my own, or even during the lay-off when the decision was out of my hands, I always consider what it will be like and think about next steps.  Being a bit on edge keeps me focused on the fact that my current job is probably not my last job, and I keep myself open to opportunities as well as constantly net-working.  No matter how I leave a job, I’ve given it some thought and am at least somewhat prepared.

Hubby can laugh all he wants.  He’ll be the one crying as we leave the resort.  Since I’ve already thought about it, I’m prepared to handle the situation.  I’ll bring a box of tissues for him.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Truth in Interviewing

by -

I’m not good at lying.  OK, I can do the innocuous “of course that dress looks great on you!” But when it comes to serious lying, that’s definitely not my forte. I wear my heart on my sleeve – and sometimes my emotions live there too.  Like an open book, you can pretty much tell what I’m feeling at any given time.
Most of the time, this is a good thing.  People know that they can trust my word.  Sometimes it’s not what they want to hear. But they know I’m telling the truth. 
This “skill” of mine is not always effective.  For example, I would be a terrible contestant on “Survivor” – and my inability to effectively lie is only one issue.  First, I would be voted off right away simply because I would want to spend the first few days building an adequate shelter instead of hanging out on the beach like it was a vacation.  If there was a lack of organization, I would step in and try to lead the tribe, another no-no if you want to stay in the game. Not to mention the whole issue of living outside. Yuck.  But the ability to weave and maintain an intricate web of lies with a straight face would lead to my demise. I must not be smart enough to keep all the stories straight.
When you think about it, isn’t interviewing for a job similar to lying?  I can hear you disagreeing with me.  “Of course not!”, “I would never lie to get a job”, “It’s more like acting, but that’s not lying, per se”.  Okay, call it what you want, but face it – there are times during an interview when we absolutely have to stretch the truth.  We have to lie.
This is especially true when you’re in lay-off land, searching for your next opportunity.  At least it seems that way since we don’t want to turn any chance down. Each interview could be a ticket to employment.  So how is someone like me, little miss “hard to keep a straight face”, supposed to get through the interview process?  I can be knocked on my side with the very first question, “Tell me why you want to work here?” Even just writing that question causes me to go all “deer-in-the-headlights”.
While I don’t have a magic potion to make interviewing easy, I do have a little trick I learned while working in PR.  In preparing for possible media calls and interviews, we prepared a “Q&A Document” – sort of a script.  It’s actually quite brilliant.  The goal was to write down all the possible questions that a reporter might ask the company. Even off-the-wall questions were OK.  Then we had to prepare written answers to each question.  At the top of the document we listed our talking points, those two or three key messages we wanted to tell about our company in relation to the story.
I’ve adapted this same technique to prepare for job interviews.  It’s a great way to collect my thoughts before the interview and develop solid, truthful answers.  Once I developed the first set of Q&A, I’ve only had to tweak it for different interviews.  I especially like the reminder of my key messages, listed at the top.
The best reason to use this tactic is that it helps me determine exactly how far I’m willing to stretch the truth and it allows me to become comfortable with my answers.  If I’m not comfortable with these answers at home, I’m certainly not going to do well during an interview. 
For example, am I always willing to relocate for a job?  Probably not.  Yet my answer needs to leave room for the possibility without making promises that I can’t keep, i.e. “I would consider relocating”. After all, I don’t want to be eliminated before the interview starts.  Once the discussions begin I may determine that the opportunity is indeed worth a move.  
It’s a fine line to walk between full-disclosure and flat-out lying, yet one that we have to walk as we pursue new opportunities.  We just have to be comfortable with our answers. 
Just for fun, I thought I’d share what I would love to say during some interviews, but the fact that I want to be hired prohibits using these answers.
Fun Interview Answers
Q. Why do you want to work here?
A. Honestly, I have no idea except that my friend told me you were hiring and I heard you have a good vacation plan.  By the way, how soon can I take my first vacation?  Did I mention that I plan to work here a few months, then take off to “find myself” as I back-pack through Europe?
Q. Tell me about yourself.
A. Aside from being well-educated, I’m cute and have an amazing sense of humor.  I’m sort of doing this career-thing until I decide what I really want to do with my life. Oh, and I enjoy critiquing people’s fashion choices.  By the way, that’s a nice tie – is it a clip-on?
Q. Where do you see yourself in five years?
A. I was kind of hoping we wouldn’t have to discuss this right away since it’s a bit awkward, but I want your job.  Preferably sooner than five years; maybe within twelve months. Actually, what are your plans?  Any idea when you might move on to your next job?
Q. Our corporate offices are out of state. Are you willing to relocate?
A. Oohh – didn’t see that coming.  Depends; what state are we talking about?  I’m willing to move to a ski-resort town, or possibly Hawaii.  But that also depends on how much additional money you’ll pay me.
Q. Let’s talk salary – can you tell me where you were compensation-wise at your last job?
A. I can tell you, but I’m not going to.  Duh!  Haven’t you heard the phrase, “he who talks money first loses”?  Besides, from the looks of this old furniture in your office, I’m pretty sure you can’t afford me.
Q. Thanks for coming in; we’ll get back to you in about a week. Do you have any questions for me?
A. What kind of gym membership do you offer?  How’s the food in the cafeteria? I smelled something coming in and it was less than pleasant.  And thanks for humoring me by saying you’ll call me back. Even though I know better.

Ponytail Alert

by -

Ever feel like you’re living in a Dilbert cartoon?  I have. The “pointy-haired boss” who is so clueless about his business and employees always makes me laugh.    Over the years there have been many instances where I was convinced that the cartoons were inspired by the company I was working for. 

And of course there’s Michael from the sitcom, The Office.  Unlike Dilbert’s pointy-haired boss, Michael is ‘arrogantly clueless’.  That’s almost worse – he thinks he knows everything but really just makes work harder for all involved.
 
Classic among the females is Meryl Streep’s character in The Devil Wears Prada.  Now this one actually gives me chills.  Reminds me of my first few years in the workforce, working in the high-pressured world of fashion.  I remember one boss in particular.  She was one of the smartest women I’ve ever worked for.  She was also a tad difficult.  A bit of a character, Boss had a habit of playing with her shoulder-length hair while she was working.  She always wore a rubber band on her wrist, and as she became stressed she would use the rubber band to tie her hair back into a ponytail.  The higher the ponytail, the more stressed she was.  And her personality changed with the ponytail, becoming more terse and harder to deal with.  So our department instituted the “ponytail alert”.  If anyone witnessed the ponytail – especially if it was high on her head – that person became like Paul Revere and alerted the rest of the department so we could avoid the wrath that came with the ponytail.
 
I was working with Boss on a project one time, and I had to run to my office for some information. When I came back, not only had she put her hair in a ponytail, but it was straight on top of her head!  I remember trying to remain calm, get my assignment and exit her office as quickly as possible.
 
Had another boss who was so clueless that he had me write my own review. I guess this is not unheard of, except during said review he asked me, in all seriousness, to complete the section with his comments – he was too clueless about my job to even write a comment on my review.  Good news for me though. I wrote rave comments and received a nice raise.
 
My rule as a boss is to help my team as much as possible. I want them to want my job, and if I provide the correct guidance they should become skilled enough to get promoted.  Paramount to being a good boss, in my opinion, is to provide as much open and honest communication as possible.  Confidentiality trumps openness on occasion, but most of the time it works.  Even when it means conveying bad news.  People can handle bad news; they just need to know what it is.  Nothing is worse than not knowing.
 
Over the years I’ve had great bosses, bad bosses and many in between.  Ponytail Boss was not the worst, although she remains a classic.  I’ve tried to come up with my version of “types of bosses” – see what you think. And whatever you do, try to avoid being one of “them”.

Types of Bosses:
 
Mr. Clueless – The guy who somehow got promoted, although it’s hard to figure out why.  Has no understanding of what it actually takes to get his job done, much less yours.  If he realizes his own shortcomings, working for this guy can be good as he’ll step out of the way and let you go.  Of course, he’ll also step out of the way and let you take the fall – after all, he’s clueless.

The Ostrich – This boss buries his head in sand and hopes that things just go away. Always a good approach, if you never want to take responsibility or get things done. Also a good approach if you want your team to be constantly frustrated.

The Constant Visionary – This is the guy who’s always thinking of new ideas yet never realizes that at some point, a decision needs to be made and action has to be taken. Business is suddenly standing still, trapped in a never-ending cycle of hope for action, due to the constant stream of visions that appear to this boss. He calls them “creative ideas”.  You call them “roadblocks”.  It’s a fine line.

The Smooth Talker – This boss appears to be highly respected by others in the company, and at first you agree.  His presentations are stellar and he exudes just the right amount of poise and confidence.  Others are envious that they are not under his guidance. Everyone leaves his meetings inspired, ready for action.  Once back at the desk, it doesn’t take long for people to realize that he sounded good but he didn’t really say anything. At least anything of substance.

The Withholder of Information – A very difficult boss, he has all the information because he attends meetings (without you) yet consistently fails to share that information when dumping projects on you.  Of course he’s probably fearful that he may lose “power” if he shares his knowledge.  Funny thing is that power is in the mind of the beholder.

The Clairvoyant Leader – Rather than providing direction, this boss uses nice phrases like “I’m open to your suggestions” and “let’s see what you come up with”, lulling you into a false sense of security that he is truly open to your ideas. When you provide your report, he unleashes all sorts of tirades on you because you could not read his mind and your work is “not at all what he wanted”.  This leaves you to review your job description to see if “mind reader” was a pre-requisite for the job. No a magic eight ball won’t work either. I’ve tried.

 

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Move…That…Foot!

by -

Nothing promotes peace, love and harmony in a marriage more than a remodel, does it?  Multiple discussions about style, design and what to include in the remodel, not to mention budget, are all part of the fun.  Countless shopping trips to look at fixtures, furniture and hardware take the place of “date night”. 

The rule for remodels is pretty much the same as for vacations:  if you have time to do it, you don’t have the money.  If you have money to spend, you don’t have time.  It’s a vicious cycle, and it’s definitely proven true for us.

We love our home and knew from the get-go that remodeling would be part of the package. A fabulous contemporary built in the ‘70s, it suffered from the misguided decorating schemes of multiple owners who apparently tried to morph it into something it wasn’t.  Sort of like a mullet, our house was party/contemporary on the outside, business/traditional on the inside.

Over the years Hubby and I have lived through several remodels and are still speaking to each other.  Each remodel starts out the same.  We talk for months about what we’d like to do.  We pore over designs and Hubby sketches ideas.  We spend hours shopping.  The walls become a mosaic of paint colors as we paint a section, let it dry, stand and look at it with our heads cocked to one side as though the color will look better, giving each a ‘thumbs up’ or ‘thumbs down’.

We were just ready to embark on what would be the final remodel when the lay-offs hit, which of course put a halt to those plans.  (See the remodel rule mentioned earlier)  Now that money is better, it’s time for the final frontier: the master bedroom. We also received a call from 1976 asking if they could have their décor back. We are more than happy to accommodate. The wall of smoky disco mirrors cannot come down fast enough. 

As remodels go, this one is a piece of cake.  The wall of mirrors will be history; new sheet rock, texture the wall, paint and new carpet.  A few days, tops. And we can stay in the house.  Sure beats the 6 months we spent living with mom during the last remodel.  Timing should be perfect since our work schedules seem to be manageable.

And so it began this week.  Workmen arrived just as I received a text from Hubby that said, “I’ve just entered Hell. Don’t expect to see much of me this week.”  Glad he has lots of work, but this does not bode well.  OK, I thought, I can do this.  Our four-legged daughter can spend the days with grandma and my work is flexible.

Apparently Hubby and I totally forgot what it’s like to live through even the simplest remodel. As we came home the first night, we opened the door to the overwhelming smell of paint, dust and sealant.  The dog paced the house, flustered because her bed was now in the guest room.  The drawers from our chest lay on the living room floor, full of our underwear and socks. I love knowing that the workmen have seen my underwear.  Despite the fact that we had just cleaned the house, dust seemed to have settled everywhere.

We retreated to the other side of the house to escape the noxious odor and get some sleep, stepping around all of the bedroom ‘stuff’ that was stored in the hall.  That’s when we remembered what it’s like to go from a king bed to a queen.  A fight for the covers ensued, as well as a land-grab battle with each seeking claim to a portion of the bed.  I could feel myself becoming tense; why is this so difficult?  Then it happened. His foot on mine, clearly intending to steal more of the bed than was fair.  Trying to keep myself under control, with teeth clenched I said sternly, “Hubby, Move…That…Foot”.

Too bad HGTV or Extreme Home Makeover or some other reality show wasn’t here for this. Based on our dialogue that evening I’m sure we would have been chosen for “Real Couples of Home Remodels”. Lots of “remodel mama drama”.

By morning the drama had subsided. I won the Battle for the Covers; Hubby won the Land Grab. Not sure what happened to the pillows; I think they threw themselves off the bed to avoid the conflict. The dog was thankful that her bed was not in play. 

Only a few days, we keep telling ourselves, and we’ll be done remodeling for good.  Maybe.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Been There, Done That

by -

My career so far has been great.  Well, not always. There was that unfortunate time right after graduation when I’d just spent 4 ½ years getting my degree, only to discover I had chosen the wrong career.  Seriously, a degree in engineering technology?  Spending my days determining which size rebar and steel columns to use in structures? What was I thinking?  Desperate for work I enjoyed, I enrolled in a graduate program that would allow me to get on the right career path. 

It was smooth sailing after that.  Well, sort of.  Graduating with an MBA, I did land my dream job with a world-class brand.  Yet I still had questions about my career, new opportunities and other things.

While I’ve enjoyed my work and successfully moved up the ranks at different companies, there have been – and still are – times when I need a shoulder.  The opportunity to speak with someone who’s “been there, done that”.  Someone who’s not related to me that will provide a tough-love dose of career reality every once in a while.  

After my rough career start, I decided that if I could ever help someone else navigate their career path and answer the questions that others can’t, I would do it.  It would be my way of giving back, paying it forward, or whatever you want to call it.  There’s no sense for others to go through the same thing I did – launching a career without a guide.

I’m not sure how or when I became a mentor but it’s something I’m passionate about; something I make time for at the expense of other things. It’s so important to me to provide the one thing I wish I had when I was starting out – an experienced individual to answer my questions and provide an objective opinion as well as helpful suggestions.  To provide insight that can only be obtained from having “been there, done that”.

And I’m not sure how I get connected with people who need to speak with someone with more career experience.  As an “official” mentor at my alma mater, I get assigned to students.  But most of the mentoring relationships happen randomly.  Sometimes it’s a friend of a friend; other times it’s the daughter/niece/nephew of someone I’ve met.  All pretty random.

On a recent visit to my alma mater I met some students in a most unusual place.  I had some time to kill before giving my presentation, so I found a bench in a quiet area of the business school and sat down. It just happened to be conveniently located near the restroom. 

While sitting there enjoying the feeling of college life, suddenly all the classrooms opened at once and the area was full of graduate students, apparently on a break from a long class.  I was observing them and of course they noticed me, all dressed up and clearly not a student. At some point a group of them caught my eye.  We engaged in a brief conversation about what they were studying, what they wanted to do when they graduated and where I worked.  I offered to connect with them on LinkedIn and passed out my business card, telling them to reference that we met near the restroom at the business school – that would trigger anyone’s memory, for sure. 

And guess what?  I’ve heard from all of the students.  We’ve scheduled phone meetings and conversed via email.  They ask all kinds of questions; some I expect and some that are new.  The biggest thing is that they are taking advantage of a chance meeting to speak with someone who’s “been there, done that”. 

We never know when or where we may meet someone who could help us with our career.  In fact, I wonder how many missed opportunities I passed by? Was there someone sitting near the restroom when I was in school? 

Same thing holds true for me now, even though I’ve got experience under my belt.  I always try to be aware of opportunities to meet someone new.  It could be at a networking event, or through colleagues and friends, or even at the gym. Maybe I could help them or they could help me, or maybe it’s just a one-time quick conversation.  You never know.

Rebar and steel columns?  Still makes me shudder. If only I’d been able to talk to someone who had “been there, done that”.   

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Office Mom

by -

Oh no! I think it’s happened.  I may officially be considered “old”.  I am so not ready for this.
How could this be?  Sure, I “enhance” my natural hair color. Who doesn’t? And yeah, I have a couple of lines around the eyes but that has to be a result of the lay-off and the added stress. Can’t possibly have anything to do with age!
As a kid I remember looking at my parents and teachers, and of course considered them old and out of touch.  My parents were actually a bit more mature than most first-time parents when they had us, so I wasn’t too far off there.  But my teachers seemed ancient!  Looking back, I’m pretty sure most were in their 20’s, possibly early thirties.  Now that I’m an adult I realize how young my teachers were at the time.  At the time they seemed so worldly and full of experience – something that only comes with age.
In my mind, I’m not old at all.  I can keep up with the twenty-something crowd just fine. In fact, I was in an exercise boot camp with a bunch of twenty-something women not too long ago and they couldn’t keep up with me.  They may have been young and thin with good skin, but they were deceptively unfit. All good, until I realized that technically I could be mother to any of them. If I’d started having kids early, I remind myself.  Still, this is a heady thing to consider.    
A couple recent happenings brought the reality of my age top of mind.  The first time was a few weeks ago at my alma mater, when I was trying to find the entrance to the new basketball arena.  Feeling every bit like a college student, I strolled up to a group of coeds and asked for directions.  They seemed nice enough, until one of them called me “ma’am”.  I actually turned around to see who she was talking to, only to discover she meant me. I tried to brush it off, thinking that she had been raised properly and that anyone older than she was to be treated with respect. Fair enough, I thought.
Then it happened again, striking a blow of epic proportions to my ego. One of my colleagues, who happens to be part of the twenty-something crowd, started affectionately referring to me as the “office mom”.  The first time I heard this I was almost speechless. And to tell the truth, a bit insulted. How dare anyone refer to me as “mom”!  That’s not me; I’m wearing the same styles as everyone else here, reading the same books, watching the same TV shows, attending the same concerts.  Why did you target ME as the office mom?  Are you just evil?  Do you want to make me cry?  Are my roots showing?
I remember staring at this colleague, trying not to show my true feelings when all I really wanted to do was shout, stomp my feet, shine a light in his eyes and question him till he cried. Maybe take away his car keys and ground him.  Office mom indeed!
As he continued to talk – which at the time I wanted to say “please stop; haven’t you said enough?” – I began to realize that in his mind he was paying me a compliment of the highest order.  My age brings wisdom gained through experience; something that this twenty-something just doesn’t have yet.  I’m asked all sorts of questions, everything from the best way to approach the boss, to how we should prepare a client presentation, to how to save money for travel.   I can’t tell if he’s just humoring “the older person” or not, but I’m taking it as a compliment that he would ask, listen and actually take my advice. 
Good news is that the twenty-something crowds that I encounter through work or other events seem to enjoy my company, as well as the work experience and skills I bring to the table.  And I can keep up with the conversations and trends they’re discussing. Either I’m immature or they’re mature, but it works.
I guess I’ll try to embrace my age – young enough to have fun but old enough to know when to quit.  Twenty-somethings, feel free to include me in your conversations and ask me questions.  Just don’t call me “ma’am”.
© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Wimbledon Warriors

by -

Sometimes you just have to get outside and see the sun.  Sunday was one of those days.  It was perfect. Sunny and warm with a crystal clear sky lacking the haze that comes when it’s too hot here in Texas – which is almost every day from June through August. These are rare days; days that should not be wasted inside in front of a computer.  According to a friend, there are only “14 perfect days” in a given year where we live and I’m sure this was one of them. Rats, only thirteen good days left this year.
I convinced Hubby that we both could use a break from all the things we “should” be doing: laundry, writing, consulting work, searching job boards.  Let’s spend an hour outside, I said.  We could have fun and get some exercise at the same time.   Tennis, anyone?
First step: search for tennis rackets. Found them exactly where one would expect sports equipment to live, in the craft room.  Did I mention we hadn’t played in a while?
Tennis balls became another issue.  We did find a can of tennis balls, however they had zero bounce.  Lucky for us we have a dog. After rifling through Kylie’s toy baskets and searching the backyard, we had three balls that at least resembled tennis balls.  Not sure that Pet Smart really makes a good tennis ball, but hey, it looked OK.  The pink rubber squeaky nubby ball was included as a back-up.
With rackets, an assortment of tennis-like balls and a jug of water, we were off to the tennis courts at the school.  We were thrilled to see that the courts were vacant and surprised others in the neighborhood were not taking advantage of one of the “fourteen perfect days”.
Hubby and I are pretty equally matched when it comes to sports, except he’s better at softball and I excel at shooting pool.  With both of us at fear-inducing heights of 5’2” and 5’5”, we are not powerhouses at hoops.  So tennis is a good game for us.
Once on the court we decided the goal was simply to keep the ball going for as long as possible, playing for household bragging rights.  Hubby went first, dropping the ball, reaching back and swinging the racket, making contact.  Too bad the ball didn’t understand the goal was to go over the net.  Ha! I could tell bragging rights would be mine. 
Telling him to stand back, I served and the volley was on!  I’m not really sure what happened next, except to say that my eyes saw the ball coming at me to the right, my mind said “move” – but my feet and legs were like lead weights stuck in place.  The ball whizzed past me as Hubby yelled, “Why didn’t you move?” Point: Hubby.
Game on, pal! My competitive edge kicked in. No way was Hubby going to win. It was my idea to go outside, my idea to play tennis.  We started again, and this time I made sure my legs went the same direction as my eyes.   Running towards the ball, I stretched to make the shot.  “Ouch!” I cried out, as my hamstring pulled tight and I began what can only be described as a failed attempt at a one-footed moon walk.   “What is it?” yelled Hubby. “Are you hurt?” 
No, I always do this dance when I’m in the middle of a game.  Duh.
Determined to enjoy this perfect day, I soldiered on.  We both did.  We hit the ball. We tried to run.  At one point we actually had fourteen consecutive “hits” before the ball took a nose-dive into the net.  After thirty minutes we took a water break.  Sweating, heart racing, unable to lift the large jug of water to even get a drink, I looked at Hubby and said “what happened to us?”  Of course we immediately blamed our rusty skills on the lay-offs, new work and the fact that we were not used to such nice weather. 
Back on the court, we continued to try and regain the skills we knew we once had.  We switched sides, each convinced that the other had an advantage solely based on the side of the court.  That’s when I discovered his side of the court held a treasure trove of sunbaked Cheerios, which I’m sure he had been hiding from me.  No wonder he had energy; he was on a Cheerio high. Never mind that they had probably been there for months. 
We never bested our fourteen consecutive hits, working at it for another half an hour before deciding that our poor performance was the direct result of using the dog’s toys as tennis balls.  We decided it was unfair of us, really, to take the dog’s toys and headed home.  
It was great to get out of the house and away from the grind of work and job-search.  Our muscles are still sore and we may never move with ease again, but at least we enjoyed one of the fourteen perfect days.  
© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Over Networking

by -

Networking, the fine art of establishing business contacts and/or relationships, is something we’re all familiar with.  We’ve all been told that this is the best and sometimes only way to actually find a job opportunity.  The concept is simple enough, although true networking – really good networking – takes time.  Hard to fit this into a busy schedule, huh?
When I was first starting out, networking was the buzz word.  We talked about it in school. We talked about it at my first job. We talked about it at happy hour.  “Everyone’s doing it; aren’t you?”  I’d play along during these happy hour discussions, nodding in agreement that yes, I did indeed have a vast business network.
Inside, I was panic-stricken.  Honestly I had no idea how to network or exactly what I was supposed to do.  I had the crazy idea that networking was closely related to cruising the club scene to meet guys.  That networking meant walking up to a total stranger – no matter where I was – to introduce myself in an attempt to find out about job opportunities.
Thank goodness I didn’t try this tactic.  At best, I would have appeared to be socially challenged. At worst, well, let’s not go there.
One thing I had going for me is that I’m good at relationship building and staying in touch with people.   As my career progressed, I made a point to periodically call or email past colleagues just to stay in touch.  I thought it was a nice gesture, something that I would have appreciated had the shoe been on the other foot.  Little did I know that I was networking! 
I continue this tried and true tactic even now.  It seems simple to me, staying in touch with people.  It does take some time, but the pay-off is great.  Each week I shoot a couple emails off to former colleagues, just to see how they’re doing.  A no-brainer.  Besides, I really enjoy staying in touch with people.
It’s occurred to me that not everyone is good at this.  Some know what to do, yet just don’t take the time. But there are others who aren’t quite clear on the concept of networking.  Unsure of how to meet people and use connections to look for opportunities, these individuals tend to push themselves too hard in an effort to be productive.   The unfortunate consequence is that they alienate themselves instead of building their network.  They “over-network”.
Case in point:  Met a fellow at an industry event.  I introduced myself – after all, isn’t this what you do at these things? Within seconds of our introductions, he immediately launched into his elevator speech followed by “do you know of any opportunities for me?”
Really?  I just met you! I don’t even remember your name, despite the fact that you’re wearing a name tag.  How would I even know what you’re capable of?  Much less feel like I want to represent you to my colleagues?
This person continues to contact me.  With the same format as the first time we met. And I still don’t know much about him except that his delivery is poor, he doesn’t have any more experience than the first time we met and I honestly feel uncomfortable recommending him to anyone.  
To be clear, I really like helping those who are looking for work.  Truly I do.  But I can’t recommend you if we haven’t established – over time – a relationship, one that lets me get a feel for your qualifications, not to mention your abilities.  Remember, you’re asking me to put my reputation on the line and recommend you to my colleagues.  
With social media it’s easy and tempting to “over-network”, to try and align yourself with as many contacts as possible.  Besides, we’ve all been told that the only way to find a job these days is through networking.  That must mean connect with as many people as possible, whether you know them or not, right?  How could this be a bad thing?
In my experience, networking has to happen sort of organically over time and through a variety of sources.  Great networking comes from those who know us best, not people we meet randomly.  When we are reaching out to someone new, it’s best to have a mutual friend or colleague vouch for us.
In the wrong hands, networking apparently becomes toxic. A bit sad. Sort of creepy.   But done right, it works wonders.
© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved