5 Things Managers Should Never Say To Employees

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boss -boy-633014_1920I’ve often wondered what happens sometimes to people as they move up the corporate ladder. Otherwise “normal” co-workers seem to lose their ability to think rationally, losing their common sense as they rise among the ranks.

It’s possible these people never had certain skills prior to becoming a manager, a.k.a. “the boss”, although I’d like to think they had some smarts to progress upward in the first place.  Especially to the level of Director, VP or even C-suite.

If you are a manager, or when you get to manage people, here are five things you should NEVER say to employees:

  1. “I need this yesterday.”   The most frustrating phrase for an employee to hear because it’s an impossible deadline to meet. Unless the employees have manufactured a time machine and can literally go back in time. And then they wouldn’t be working for you; they’d be rich and famous.  Please say the project is urgent and, more importantly, explain WHY it’s so urgent.  Then provide a realistic deadline given the circumstances. Trust your employees to work their butts off to get it done quickly and correctly, without this worn-out phrase.
  2. “’Meets Requirements’ means the same thing as ‘Good’ on a review.”  Almost anyone who has been through a standard review process has heard something along these lines.  At some point companies decided to replace “Good” on the yearly review form with “Meets requirements”, hardly an uplifting phrase. Management knows the word “Meets” does not have the same feeling as “Good” since it always requires explanation and sometimes a memo from corporate.  Bosses, kick “Meets” to the curb and replace it with, “Way to go; you accomplished every goal we established for you at the beginning of the year.”
  3. “I’m not sure what I want but I’ll know it when I see it”.  Ugh. Seriously? You must have some idea of what you want, or at least what you don’t want. This is merely a lack of communication.  As a boss you should be able to tell your employees what you envision when giving them a project so they don’t waste precious time developing something that doesn’t meet your “secret” expectations.  If you honestly have no idea what you want or expect, please don’t waste an employees’ time trying to manufacture something from thin air that will only make you say “No, this isn’t it”.
  4. “You’re next in line for a promotion.” Promising an employee a promotion – or even hinting about it – is never a good idea. No good can come of this.  Employee expectations are now raised, with the employee laser-focused on the promotion.  If it doesn’t come true, the bubble is burst and no amount of consoling or explanation can erase the negative feelings.  In fact, you may lose the employee.
  5. “I’m only getting a 3% raise, just like you.”  Did you really just say that out loud? Because as an employee, last time I checked, 3% of your salary is much better than 3% of my salary.  Employees know that salaries may be determined in several ways, usually either across the board (i.e. all managers get 3%) or the boss is given a bucket of money to distribute among his team, which means the percentage may vary.  Bosses need to understand that, especially among younger employees, it’s no longer taboo to discuss wages and compare notes.  What used to be personal information is now shared.  Do what you need to do in terms of distributing wealth; employees want you to reward hard workers, not slackers.  But do it with empathy.  Admit that 3% is not much.  Never compare your raise to your employees. It’s not good team building.

You’re Not the Boss of Me

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Little kids, especially toddlers, are fearless, aren’t they?  Not necessarily in a physical sense, like being unafraid of climbing the highest tree or skating downhill without a plan for stopping.  I’m thinking more about how they approach life.  While they understand a pecking order and that the very tall people (a.k.a. parents, older relatives, teachers) seem to make the rules, kids in general are willing to push limits with the tall people to make their voice heard in an attempt to get what they want. 

You know what I’m talking about.  There’s a phrase that I bet most children have shouted, muttered or pouted at one time or another. It’s usually uttered after a tall person has tried to tell them what to do.   With much foot stomping, tears, little fists held high and as much drama as they can muster, they let out “You’re not the boss of me!”

At this point, tall people – especially those who are not the parents – try to hide their laughter and maintain some sense of hierarchy to calm the one-person mutiny that is underway. 

While I don’t have kids of my own, I know this from my nieces and nephews.  Even my dog says “You’re not the boss of me”, although hers is more of an evil-eye, like “You may have stopped me from chewing the couch now, but I’ll leave you a present someday when you least expect it”. 

As adults, wouldn’t it be nice to have such a phrase to use at work?  I can see it now: sitting in a meeting with other execs, when the boss gives directions that no one wants to follow.  Wouldn’t it be great to say, “No, I’m not going to do that; you’re not the boss of me!”? 

Somehow I don’t think that would go over too well.

We are all used to the pecking order, and when a lay-off hits we find ourselves facing a new hierarchy.  Without a boss, I suddenly found myself in charge, especially since I began consulting.  Some call it self-motivation or being an entrepreneur, but all that really means is that you boss yourself. Great. It’s hard enough to have a boss or be a boss, but double the trouble if you are both employee and boss. Those conversations are pretty funny too.

“No, I’m not interested in working on this project”.  “But you have to; there’s no one else here to do it.”  “I’ll get to it when I feel like it.”  “No, you need to work on it now.”  “Don’t tell me what to do; I am the boss of me!”

These personal tantrums can go on indefinitely, with no one else to mediate.

At times I have felt like I have split personality disorder.  I’m sure the people at the local coffee house have wondered who I am talking to as I sit alone working on my laptop, having a heated discussion with no one about the work I am supposed to be doing.   

Unfortunately I AM the boss of me.  So I have to motivate myself to do work that sometimes I just don’t feel like doing.  How do I motivate myself?  Here are some tricks I use:

–          Set time limits. If I get my work done by X time, then I can go out to lunch vs. eating at home.  Food is always a good motivator for me.

–          Have small treats that feel like huge rewards.  For example, when I complete a certain portion of my work, I treat myself by spending 10 minutes sitting by the pool with the latest magazine.  Doesn’t sound like a lot of time, but even 10 minutes outside does wonders for me.  Besides, with temps in the triple digits, 10 minutes is about all I can take.

–          Sometimes I allow for “reverse motivation” – meaning, I’ll get up earlier than normal so I can read the paper over breakfast at the local coffee house (there’s that food motivator again).  It really doesn’t take much more time than eating at home, yet it feels like a wonderful treat to get motivated for the day. I mean, who doesn’t love a good pastry in the morning?

–          Schedule, schedule, schedule! Including other things during the work day, such as a specific time to go to the gym. The more things I have on my schedule, the more productive I actually become.  With deadlines to meet I know my work must be completed in order to make my gym time.  Of course, since I don’t like to go to the gym this can be counter-productive, although it does allow me to continue with my “morning treat” motivation listed above.    

Are these fool proof? No.  Do they prevent me from dilly-dallying and daydreaming, putting off work that needs to get done?  Sometimes, but not always.  Yet I need them to keep some sense of order, and provide some way to motivate myself to keep moving forward.  

Fun part is that I get to set the rules. After all, I am the boss of me.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Ponytail Alert

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Ever feel like you’re living in a Dilbert cartoon?  I have. The “pointy-haired boss” who is so clueless about his business and employees always makes me laugh.    Over the years there have been many instances where I was convinced that the cartoons were inspired by the company I was working for. 

And of course there’s Michael from the sitcom, The Office.  Unlike Dilbert’s pointy-haired boss, Michael is ‘arrogantly clueless’.  That’s almost worse – he thinks he knows everything but really just makes work harder for all involved.
 
Classic among the females is Meryl Streep’s character in The Devil Wears Prada.  Now this one actually gives me chills.  Reminds me of my first few years in the workforce, working in the high-pressured world of fashion.  I remember one boss in particular.  She was one of the smartest women I’ve ever worked for.  She was also a tad difficult.  A bit of a character, Boss had a habit of playing with her shoulder-length hair while she was working.  She always wore a rubber band on her wrist, and as she became stressed she would use the rubber band to tie her hair back into a ponytail.  The higher the ponytail, the more stressed she was.  And her personality changed with the ponytail, becoming more terse and harder to deal with.  So our department instituted the “ponytail alert”.  If anyone witnessed the ponytail – especially if it was high on her head – that person became like Paul Revere and alerted the rest of the department so we could avoid the wrath that came with the ponytail.
 
I was working with Boss on a project one time, and I had to run to my office for some information. When I came back, not only had she put her hair in a ponytail, but it was straight on top of her head!  I remember trying to remain calm, get my assignment and exit her office as quickly as possible.
 
Had another boss who was so clueless that he had me write my own review. I guess this is not unheard of, except during said review he asked me, in all seriousness, to complete the section with his comments – he was too clueless about my job to even write a comment on my review.  Good news for me though. I wrote rave comments and received a nice raise.
 
My rule as a boss is to help my team as much as possible. I want them to want my job, and if I provide the correct guidance they should become skilled enough to get promoted.  Paramount to being a good boss, in my opinion, is to provide as much open and honest communication as possible.  Confidentiality trumps openness on occasion, but most of the time it works.  Even when it means conveying bad news.  People can handle bad news; they just need to know what it is.  Nothing is worse than not knowing.
 
Over the years I’ve had great bosses, bad bosses and many in between.  Ponytail Boss was not the worst, although she remains a classic.  I’ve tried to come up with my version of “types of bosses” – see what you think. And whatever you do, try to avoid being one of “them”.

Types of Bosses:
 
Mr. Clueless – The guy who somehow got promoted, although it’s hard to figure out why.  Has no understanding of what it actually takes to get his job done, much less yours.  If he realizes his own shortcomings, working for this guy can be good as he’ll step out of the way and let you go.  Of course, he’ll also step out of the way and let you take the fall – after all, he’s clueless.

The Ostrich – This boss buries his head in sand and hopes that things just go away. Always a good approach, if you never want to take responsibility or get things done. Also a good approach if you want your team to be constantly frustrated.

The Constant Visionary – This is the guy who’s always thinking of new ideas yet never realizes that at some point, a decision needs to be made and action has to be taken. Business is suddenly standing still, trapped in a never-ending cycle of hope for action, due to the constant stream of visions that appear to this boss. He calls them “creative ideas”.  You call them “roadblocks”.  It’s a fine line.

The Smooth Talker – This boss appears to be highly respected by others in the company, and at first you agree.  His presentations are stellar and he exudes just the right amount of poise and confidence.  Others are envious that they are not under his guidance. Everyone leaves his meetings inspired, ready for action.  Once back at the desk, it doesn’t take long for people to realize that he sounded good but he didn’t really say anything. At least anything of substance.

The Withholder of Information – A very difficult boss, he has all the information because he attends meetings (without you) yet consistently fails to share that information when dumping projects on you.  Of course he’s probably fearful that he may lose “power” if he shares his knowledge.  Funny thing is that power is in the mind of the beholder.

The Clairvoyant Leader – Rather than providing direction, this boss uses nice phrases like “I’m open to your suggestions” and “let’s see what you come up with”, lulling you into a false sense of security that he is truly open to your ideas. When you provide your report, he unleashes all sorts of tirades on you because you could not read his mind and your work is “not at all what he wanted”.  This leaves you to review your job description to see if “mind reader” was a pre-requisite for the job. No a magic eight ball won’t work either. I’ve tried.

 

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved