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When I was first starting out, I had no idea what it meant to network.  This is the stuff they talked about in business school yet failed to teach.

Don’t laugh but I honestly thought that networking was akin to sales cold-calling.  Since my only experience meeting new people was during our weekly after-work happy hours, I assumed that networking was similar.

Networking to me meant surveying the bar to find a friendly-looking person, grab my business card and go introduce myself.

We were already dressed in our business professional attire. We had business cards with us. This HAD to be what they were talking about, right?

Yeah, it was awkward.

And I wondered why I never got any dates.  Or made any business connections.

Luckily for me I was already networking; I just didn’t know it.

Every year I sent Christmas cards to a huge list that included relatives, friends from high school, college and business school, as well as friends of my parents that I had known since childhood.  That list expanded to include work colleagues and business associates.

Periodically I would call or email someone I hadn’t seen in a while to say hello; that would lead to lunch or dinner to catch-up in person.

As I worked my way up the corporate ladder and made business connections with suppliers, I kept their names and phone numbers in my Filofax long before we had smart phones.

I employed the same techniques with business colleagues as I did with my friends, periodically emailing or calling them or having lunch with them, even long after I had moved on to other jobs.  And I continued this relationship-building everywhere I worked.

After many years of doing this, a colleague heard me mention that Hubby and I send out hundreds of Christmas cards.  My colleague said, “You are so well-connected!”

That was the first time I ever thought that I might have cracked the networking code.

There it is; the secret of networking.  I’ve laid it out for you.

What; it’s still not clear?  Let me say it a different way:  Communicate with people you know and meet; do this regularly.

Networking, at a basic level, is keeping up with the people you know and meet.  To take it to the next level, you build a relationship with those people through work or friendships or however it is you know them.

The key is staying connected. I’m not gonna lie; it takes work to keep these relationships going.  But that’s what networking is about; building a relationship; one that is strong enough so when you need a favor like, “Will you recommend me for a job?” your network is willing and able to help.

Think you don’t have a network?  I bet you do.

Sit down and start listing all of your close friends and relatives. Then branch out to other friends; your sisters’ friends; your parents’ friends. Then everyone you know at your current job; everyone at your last job and the job before that, and so on.  List as many people as you can remember from college; your classmates, sorority or fraternity pals; friends from any clubs you belonged to, sports teams you played on, etc.  List people you know at your church, any volunteer organizations you work with, etc.

How does your list look now?  Do you have some connections?  I know you do.

And you know what?  Your connections have connections.  That’s how this starts.  Your connections can introduce you to more connections.

Remember to carry business cards with you at all times, even to a funeral (I wrote a post about this; check it out here).  You never know where or when you might meet someone.

Look at you; you’ve just cracked the networking code.  I knew you could do it.

Technology Fail

Tech fail

Lights, camera, action!

And we’re live!  “Welcome everyone! I’m so happy to host today’s webinar….”

I was on a roll.  I had been preparing for several weeks. My thoughts were organized and I was ready to answer any question thrown my way during this video conference.   My outfit was camera-appropriate and I looked good, if I do say so myself.

As questions came in I answered each one as if I did this every day.  It was awesome!

Except that no one could see me.

As luck would have it, we had a “technology fail” at the last minute and for some still-yet-to-be-determined reason, only the audio portion of the webinar worked.  Apparently the audience could hear me but they couldn’t see me.

I got the message just as we were starting.  The team and I tried rebooting, tried to re-load the platform, tried everything in our bag of tricks to get the video to work, yet nothing.

It was so frustrating!

Especially since we had done a dry-run using the same technology the day before, just to be sure all systems were go.

Apparently all systems didn’t agree to the terms and conditions of the webinar, huh?

So what’s a webinar host to do when things don’t go as planned?  I took a cue from the Oscars and moved on with an Academy award-winning performance.  You go on as if nothing was wrong.

Isn’t that what preparation is all about, being ready for anything? 

I remember a course I took in college that prepared me for just such a “real-world” business situation.

Not to date myself, but this was pre-PowerPoint; back in the day when business presentations depended on overhead projectors. The instructor had a list of items we needed to bring in order to avoid any last minute hiccups.  Most important lesson: “Always carry a spare bulb”.  

After all, you never knew when the projector bulb would break, leaving your presentation in the dark.

In addition to “Carry a spare bulb” was “Bring handouts or visuals” – at least you could carry on with the audio portion of your presentation as if nothing was wrong and you had planned it this way.

This lesson came back to me as I quickly found my voice and carried on with the audio portion of the webinar.  I tried to inject as much verbal enthusiasm as possible to make up for the fact that viewers were staring at a blank screen.

The good news is that we have the opportunity to edit and add my photo to the presentation when we post it online.    It will appear as if my smiling face was there all along.

No one needs to know it was a technology fail, do they? After all, I happened to carry a spare photo.

Sound of Silence

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It’s hard for me to be still.  Like a puppy full of energy, I’m usually in constant motion.

And that includes my mouth.  I’ll admit that I have the gift of gab.  I enjoy socializing with others and good conversation.  Honestly, I could probably talk to anyone about anything.

In my defense, some of this stems from working at home. Since I’m by myself most of the time, as soon as I come in contact with another human I’m ready to chat.  I’ve tried talking to my wonderful executive assistant, but all she does is wag her tail and drool.

Hubby has a difficult time understanding that I am almost unable to sit still.  He can easily sit for hours mesmerized by TV; the only movement is his constant channel surfing.

And he has no problem being still long enough to take a nap, something that is so foreign to me I can only do it when I’m sick with a fever.

As much as I’m always in motion and ready to chat the hours away, recently I’ve discovered the power of silence.

Sitting at my desk, I had been trying to focus on some projects as well as my personal business strategy.  Yet my thoughts were all over the board.

Frustrated and desperate, I decided to sit outside for a few minutes.  I thought I may as well get some fresh air for a change.

Sitting in the back yard, I sat in silence without any electronic devices and only the birds chirping as I closed my eyes and tried to focus on breathing.

I let my mind wander in no particular direction.  As I enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the silence, my mind suddenly clicked into focus.

Answers to problems started entering my mind where before there was confusion.  Creative ideas started flowing again.  It was like a dam burst and I went back inside to jot down my thoughts.

Silence, it turns out, is a gift for all of us.  And if you listen closely, silence makes a sound.

The sound of silence is the clear thinking that comes with being away from the constant barrage of noise and information that our electronic devices provide.

The sound of silence is free from constantly talking about something and actually thinking about it instead.

If we can tap into the silence, we may find that the answer we need is right in front of us.

Now that I think about it – thanks to sitting in the backyard – I remember that I used to get some of my best thinking done during long walks with our dog.  We had a great time roaming the neighborhood for half an hour at a time, and I would return home refreshed.

Unfortunately I’ve lost some of the opportunities to hear the silence as our dog is in her mature years with a hip issue and our walks have decreased in duration. Now I’m going to seek out other ways to hear the silence.

Whatever situation we are in, whether it’s looking for a new job, developing a strategy or simply trying to complete an assignment, we should tap into the silence for awhile and see what kind of answers we find.

Silence really does make a sound.

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I was just told by a team member that I’m old.   Not in so many words, but the underlying message was there. No doubt about it.

It happened during an IM-Skype conversation at work, which seems ridiculous to me since we sit about ten feet away.  Not sure why we Skype instead of walking over to chat in person.  It’s the culture of the organization and of course I want to fit in, so I Skype away like everyone else.

Something of importance to this story is that I happen to be a bit more “mature” than many of the employees, and definitely older than this team member.

This particular conversation was nothing special; a mixture of work and side comments when suddenly it turned on me.  She had misspelled a word and was trying to explain herself.  I’ll let you take a look:

Her – oops; im terrible at typing

Me – typing or spelling?

Her – it’s because Im too dependent on spell check

Me – you youngsters! How about a dictionary?

Her – I know; it’s pathetic

To which I typed a humorous response in what I thought was “IM-approved” lingo:

“u r rt, oldr peeps r so annoying”

Her reply?

“Ha! My aunt texts like that – it’s hilarious!”

What?!  Did she just call me out as being “uncool”?  I think it’s worse than that; she thinks I’m old!

Augh!  I don’t want to be hilarious like her aunt, who’s got to be way older than I am.  More importantly, I don’t want to appear “old”.  Hmph.  Just when I think I’ve become an accepted member of the team, and now they think I’m old.

But I can’t be that old.  Not only am I on Skype but my Twitter feed is pinging away with new followers and my latest Pinterest board is on fire. Geez.

If the ability to spell without spellcheck makes me old, then I guess I am. I just never realized that spelling was “old school”.

Bt u cn rd this txt, cnt u?

Ha! You’re old too.

I’m not good at reading between the lines. Vagueness or ambiguity is totally lost on me. That’s probably why I was not too good at dating.  Never understood why guys could not be honest and direct enough to say, “You’re nice but I’d just rather be friends”.  Tough words to hear, but much better than waiting to see if he’s going to call you again. 

This hasn’t changed for me, even in marriage. Hubby learned the hard way that it’s best to just man-up and tell me what’s on his mind.  Otherwise my mind will come up with all sorts of crazy notions about what he wants to say, which are usually wrong, and we’ll end up having a rather loud and lively “discussion” with tears flowing and the dog cowering under the bed.  Definitely not fun.  

When I started my career, business communications were right up my alley: clear, concise and direct.  I was expected to be tough and get the job done. Best to ask questions, recap meetings and lay it all out there so everyone understands the expectations. Doesn’t seem too hard, does it?  My mantra became, “say what you mean and mean what you say”. In a nice way, of course. There’s usually a way to get your point across without being rude. 

Some years ago I noticed a trend away from direct communications, even in business discussions.  Seems like everyone is afraid of offending others by being too direct, and in an attempt to be super nice, we’ve lost our ability to communicate with clarity. 

At work I’ve always said that if you want to ask me to lunch, just ask me.  If you come to my office and say, “I really like pizza”, I think you’re just making a statement – although sort of an odd one at work.  Never would I think that you are trying to tell me “grab your purse so we can head to the cafeteria”.

Why do I have to say “I’m reaching out to someone” instead of “I’m calling him”?  What does “so we’re good, right” mean?  Whatever happened to clearly stating what you need, so the recipient has a good understanding of your expectations?  At least with clear direction, the recipient can ask questions.  Some communications are so vague they are open for interpretation, which is not good for either side.

Recently I’ve noticed that I’m starting to move to “the dark side” in an attempt to fit in with the new corporate culture, using vague communications so as to not offend anyone with my direct-but-polite approach. Yet all this has done is got me in trouble.  A recent email I sent went something like this:

What I said: “Based on yesterday’s discussion, we need to organize and host the upcoming meeting. Would you like to take the lead on this?”  Notice my super-nice phrase, “take the lead” – nothing wrong here, right? After all, I wouldn’t want to insult the recipient by spelling out my expectations, would I?

What I meant: “Will you be the point person to manage this project and all that’s included to see this to completion, such as inviting attendees, developing the agenda, ordering food and preparing the presentation or assigning others to help in the presentation?”     

The response I got: I would love to be there, thanks for inviting me. I’d be happy to show them around the office.

HUH?  This person either totally misunderstood my uber-polite email, which is scary in itself, OR this is an uber-polite-yet-so-subtle-that-I-don’t-get-it way of saying, “No, I’m not able to/interested in taking the lead on this project”.   

I used to think this was mainly an issue with younger people, those who have been brought up never hearing the word “no”, always believing they are “winners”, the ones with parents who coddled them a bit too much.  But I’ve noticed it in older employees too.  Maybe it’s a function of career path – I started out in a traditional, well-established business environment that had structure, and clear communication may have been easier to learn than if my career had begun at a small start-up company where things were done on the fly without much organization. 

However this trend began, I know I’m not a fan.  Seems like we’re either writing fluffy emails or tip-toeing around with our spoken words, fearful that we may come across as negative or hurt someone’s feelings if we use more direct communication. The result is often misunderstanding and confusion and we end up spending more time trying to clarify our meaning than if we had been clear and concise to begin with. Ugh.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. That’s all I’m gonna say.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved