6 Things NOT to Expect from Your First Job

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startup-594090_1920Most of us have high expectations of our first job out of college. We create a vision of where this first job will take us, even creating timelines for achieving success.

Others share our visions of grandeur, with high-fives from friends and huge sighs of relief from parents who can finally claim they are now fiscally responsible for one less person.

It’s great to have a career vision and strategy; the problem is that often our expectations for our first job are unrealistic. We fail to think of what NOT to expect from our first job.

Not sure where this comes from; it may be a combination of information gathered from college career centers, professors, other students, social media, and even parents.  Add a bit of imagination, some hope and desires and you’ve got a recipe for disappointment.

Some will be quick to blame Millennials, as clearly they feel “entitled” and obviously are to blame for any misunderstanding of the work world. Not so fast; I’m pretty sure most of us were at least a tad bit disappointed by the ugly truth that was our first job.

If there’s blame to be placed, it’s on the rest of us who have gone before – including parents – for not setting the record straight.

This is for anyone who is about to graduate, or who has recently joined the workforce.

6 Things NOT to expect from your first job

  1. A Huge Salary. This is all relative. Many starting salaries today seem exorbitant to us career veterans who had to eat Ramen noodles with our starting salaries.  Yet I know better than to argue with a recent grad. The point is this is your first job; you have little to no skills yet that command a large salary.  Work hard, make yourself invaluable and the salary will follow.
  2. Quick Promotion. Somewhere it became popular to promise candidates a quick rise to the top, or at least the next level. Reality Check: The only thing you are promised at hiring is the job you are being hired for. Period. After that, the clock starts ticking again and you have to prove yourself to a company full of people that don’t know you.
  3. Praise for a Job Well Done. Parents of Millennials have done kids no favors here, encouraging them in all endeavors even if they performed terribly. It’s nice to be told “Good Job” at work, but it’s rare. It’s your job to do a good job; that’s why you were hired.  So don’t expect any special recognition for it.
  4. Control of your time. Others are counting on you at work, which means you are not able to come and go as you please 100% of the time.  Be considerate; arrive on time to morning meetings; stay late if necessary; possibly work weekends despite the fact that your friends are out on the town. Even your vacation needs to be taken with the consideration of your boss and teammates in mind. Someone has to be available in case of a crisis, right?
  5. Doing the Work vs. Reinventing the Wheel. Armed with a freshly minted degree, it may be difficult to understand why the company isn’t anxious to have you completely revamp the way it does business. Sometimes it’s best to listen and learn first, then once you’ve got a real understanding of how it works, make a suggestion based on experience.
  6. Your career will be defined by this job. Who came up with this? While your career will be influenced by EVERY job you have, you are not defined by your first job. If that were true, I would be an engineer, despite the fact that I’ve had a successful career in marketing and PR, and am now a Certified Professional Career Coach.  Don’t put this pressure on yourself. Accept your first job; work hard at it; learn from it – the good and the bad – and apply those learnings to your next opportunity.

It’s okay to have high expectations. Just try to avoid unrealistic expectations that may lead to disappointment.

Dig in to your first job. Learn from it. Grow.

 

5 Things Managers Should Never Say To Employees

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boss -boy-633014_1920I’ve often wondered what happens sometimes to people as they move up the corporate ladder. Otherwise “normal” co-workers seem to lose their ability to think rationally, losing their common sense as they rise among the ranks.

It’s possible these people never had certain skills prior to becoming a manager, a.k.a. “the boss”, although I’d like to think they had some smarts to progress upward in the first place.  Especially to the level of Director, VP or even C-suite.

If you are a manager, or when you get to manage people, here are five things you should NEVER say to employees:

  1. “I need this yesterday.”   The most frustrating phrase for an employee to hear because it’s an impossible deadline to meet. Unless the employees have manufactured a time machine and can literally go back in time. And then they wouldn’t be working for you; they’d be rich and famous.  Please say the project is urgent and, more importantly, explain WHY it’s so urgent.  Then provide a realistic deadline given the circumstances. Trust your employees to work their butts off to get it done quickly and correctly, without this worn-out phrase.
  2. “’Meets Requirements’ means the same thing as ‘Good’ on a review.”  Almost anyone who has been through a standard review process has heard something along these lines.  At some point companies decided to replace “Good” on the yearly review form with “Meets requirements”, hardly an uplifting phrase. Management knows the word “Meets” does not have the same feeling as “Good” since it always requires explanation and sometimes a memo from corporate.  Bosses, kick “Meets” to the curb and replace it with, “Way to go; you accomplished every goal we established for you at the beginning of the year.”
  3. “I’m not sure what I want but I’ll know it when I see it”.  Ugh. Seriously? You must have some idea of what you want, or at least what you don’t want. This is merely a lack of communication.  As a boss you should be able to tell your employees what you envision when giving them a project so they don’t waste precious time developing something that doesn’t meet your “secret” expectations.  If you honestly have no idea what you want or expect, please don’t waste an employees’ time trying to manufacture something from thin air that will only make you say “No, this isn’t it”.
  4. “You’re next in line for a promotion.” Promising an employee a promotion – or even hinting about it – is never a good idea. No good can come of this.  Employee expectations are now raised, with the employee laser-focused on the promotion.  If it doesn’t come true, the bubble is burst and no amount of consoling or explanation can erase the negative feelings.  In fact, you may lose the employee.
  5. “I’m only getting a 3% raise, just like you.”  Did you really just say that out loud? Because as an employee, last time I checked, 3% of your salary is much better than 3% of my salary.  Employees know that salaries may be determined in several ways, usually either across the board (i.e. all managers get 3%) or the boss is given a bucket of money to distribute among his team, which means the percentage may vary.  Bosses need to understand that, especially among younger employees, it’s no longer taboo to discuss wages and compare notes.  What used to be personal information is now shared.  Do what you need to do in terms of distributing wealth; employees want you to reward hard workers, not slackers.  But do it with empathy.  Admit that 3% is not much.  Never compare your raise to your employees. It’s not good team building.

6 Reasons to Be Thankful for Your Crappy Job

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Ever feel stuck in your job?

Maybe you thought it was your “dream job” and it’s turned out to be more like a nightmare.  Perhaps the work you thought would be interesting is more than a little boring, similar to watching paint dry.  The promise of a fast track to promotion is more like life in the slow lane, with grandma behind the wheel.

We’ve all been there.  And it’s not fun.

Yet even under the most trying of circumstances, there are still things to be thankful for.  We learn best in the worst situations.

Here are 6 reasons to be thankful for your crappy job:

  1. You Have a Job.  Totally understand that you might be sick of hearing this, yet it’s important to step away from the pity-party and understand how important this really is. You.Have.A. Job.  And it pays money.  Those who have visited the Land of Layoff understand how valuable it is to have even a not-so-good job.  You have two options: develop an exit strategy, including networking and interviewing to find a better job, or put on a happy face and stay put. Your choice.
  2. Resume Builder. Even crappy jobs provide opportunities to build your skills and your resume.  Take advantage of all chances to learn something new.  If the company offers classes on-site or will pay to further your education, take advantage.  Additional skills and education will come in handy whenever you do decide to leave the company.
  3. Food. At any office there’s usually birthday cake or holiday treats, either sent by vendors or brought in by co-workers. Take advantage!  Trust me, you will miss free food if you ever decide to work from home, or heaven-forbid, your number comes up during a lay-off.
  4. Colleagues and Networking.   Even if you’re not BFFs with your work-mates, they may be valuable network connections for you in the future.  Establish professional relationships with some of your colleagues and connect on LinkedIn.  Do it now before you decide to leave the company. You never know who might be able to help you land a great job down the road.
  5. Paid Vacation and Other Benefits.  A no-brainer.  Those who are self-employed know this is huge.  Be thankful for things like paid vacations, 401Ks, health insurance, and any other benefit your employer throws your way.
  6. Reason to Get Up in the Morning. Sure, it’s fun to dream about staying home in your jammies all day.  Reality is, it gets old after, oh, two days. For many, our jobs – even if they are crappy – provide the main reason to get up and interact with others vs. retreating into the world of bad TV.  Face it; if you want to find a new opportunity or simply be productive, you’re going to have to leave the house at some point.

You may feel like you have a crappy job and I feel your pain, having been there before myself. Just remember that even the worst jobs are blessings.

Her Name Was Velma

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Sams bag

We never knew her by name, but we saw her every Sunday. She was our last point of contact as we left Sam’s after our weekly shopping trip.

She recognized us too, knowing that we would always have at least one rotisserie chicken in our cart, possibly some paper products, dog treats and maybe a couple of other items.

She must have thought we really like chicken; how could she know that our senior dog benefitted the most from this purchase?

Taking our receipt, she would carefully count the items in our cart and compare it to the receipt. If I had to write her job description, it would be “Part security detail, part customer service, part exit greeter”.

“Exit Greeter” – seems like an oxymoron, yet since her smile and words were our last point of contact with Sam’s during each trip, she could literally make or break our shopping experience.

She was friendly with those who followed the rules, even exchanging pleasantries. But woe to the person who tried to sneak an “extra” item out of the store! This was her station, her job, and she would not let you pass by.

Last Sunday was different.  Our “Exit Greeter” was not at her usual station.   Instead, there was a bouquet of flowers, with her photo and a brief obituary.

Hubby and I found ourselves all at once shocked and saddened to learn that someone we didn’t really know at all had passed away.

Other customers in line felt the same, all asking where she was, then realizing what happened when they saw the bouquet and announcement.  We all asked questions, such as “What happened?” “Was she sick?” “She was so young!”

Her name was Velma.  And she made more of an impact on customers than she probably ever knew.

We – the public; the media; society in general – tend to turn up our noses at jobs that we perceive to be low-level, those that we deem “beneath us” or “without much value”.  Such as the “Exit Greeter” at Sam’s Club.  There are jokes about greeters at Walmart.

We brush off these perceived low-level jobs, giving little thought to what we might do without those workers.

Yet without these jobs – and the people who take pride in them – our customer experience, and our lives, may not be as rich.

As we shoot for the moon in our careers, sometimes we forget that all jobs have value and are important. We are hesitant to accept a title that’s not as impressive as we want, or pay that may be lower than we are accustomed to, especially if we are re-entering the work force after a layoff.

Some of us refuse to consider companies that don’t meet our rigid requirements.  Some of us will risk financial hardship rather than take a job that may appear entry-level.

We have forgotten that all jobs have value; a job is what we make of it and we are missing opportunities to impact the lives of others, as well as to better ourselves.

All of us – experienced workers and recent college grads – remember: no matter what your position is within the company, do it with pride. You never know what kind of impact you might have on people. 

And if you desire to move up the corporate ladder, this may be your first step on your way to success.

As for Hubby and I, we will continue to shop at Sam’s and I’m sure there will be another Exit Greeter to see us out the door.

But it won’t be the same without Velma.

Why I Would Never Hire Kanye

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Grammys

Watching award shows are like watching movies you’ve never heard of before.  Sometimes they are great; sometimes they are snoozers; and sometimes there are surprises.

Sunday’s Grammy Awards showcased a lot of great talent. Artists both new and old were in attendance, performing and supporting each other, singing and dancing to the beat.  It was like watching mini concerts by some of our favorites.

Everything was great until one decided he didn’t agree with who should receive an award and decided to take matters into his own hands.

Was this really about Beck winning Album of the Year instead of Queen Bey?  Or was it Kanye trying to grab attention for himself?

Who knows?  And it doesn’t really matter.  Either way, Mr. K looked foolish.

Let’s assume for a minute that Beyonce did deserve to win, was this really the right forum?  It was disrespectful to the winner (who deserved to win too), it was embarrassing to all involved and ultimately it was not going to change the outcome.

Clearly “Ye”, as he called himself in an after-Grammy interview rant, didn’t think this through.  This is why I would never hire Kanye.

Companies need people who can keep their cool under pressure.  People who can use critical thinking skills in the heat of the moment to refrain from making rash decisions that, even if the intention is good, may make everyone look bad.

There are times at work when all of us want to jump up on the table to defend an idea or make a statement by walking out of a meeting.  I beg you not to.

Believe me; I’m all for pushing to get an idea heard.  It’s just that there is a right way – and a wrong way – to do so.  Rushing the stage and ranting are usually not good.

Don’t be like Kanye, rushing onstage or ranting about the fact that your idea wasn’t the winner. It’s a foolish idea.  Instead of remembering your good idea, others will remember the poor execution of your presumably well-intentioned message.

 

 

Is Being Too Generous a Weakness?

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Has anyone out there participated in those Facebook quizzes designed to provide “insight” into our personalities, our likes, our dislikes, etc.?

For a long time I was able to ignore them.  Then once, in a moment of weakness, I decided to play along. The quizzes are sort of addictive.  Now that I’ve played a few times it’s interesting to see what insightful things FB thinks I should know.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

What career should I have had?  Vice President.  Or, on a subsequent try, the result was engineer.  Veep I’ll take.  However if the test was really smart, FB would know that I’ve already given engineering a try and it was not a good fit.

Word that best describes me:  Ambitious.  Yep, that’s me.  When completing our college applications, we had to check a box that indicated how many degrees we planned to obtain.  I instantly checked “Master’s”.  Had no idea why; just sounded ambitious to me so I chose it.  And achieved it.

What’s your Christmas Elf name?  This was not exactly a quiz but it’s funny and embarrassing enough to share.  Sneaky Tinselbottom, that’s me.  Should I get new business cards?  Update the resume?

Your greatest weakness: You Are Too Generous.  Huh?

This last one caused me to stop and think.  I usually think of others as more generous than myself.  While I enjoy sharing and giving it’s not like we have a money tree in the yard.

This quiz was completely wrong.  (As if any of the FB quizzes are scientific and correct.)

Yet the more I thought about it, I realized there was some truth to it. Generosity doesn’t have to be monetary; one can be generous with time and attention.

And according to FB, that is a weakness.

Throughout my career I have worked with some phenomenal individuals who were willing to spend time helping me when I needed to bounce ideas, or to show me a shortcut so I didn’t waste time, or simply to point me in the right direction as opposed to floundering and possibly failing.

These individuals were generous with their time and attention.

This was especially important when I was first starting out, yet it’s still important since every once in a while even the most experienced professional needs assistance – especially when encountering new technology.

Note that these individuals did not do the work for me.  What they provided was time.  Time to listen, to discuss, and in some cases, to teach.  They also provided roadmaps or steps that might be more efficient to get things done and introductions to people that might be good for me to know to complete the project.

When “newbies” arrived at work I found myself providing the same type of assistance.  Not doing the job for them but pointing them in the right direction.

I’ve continued to do this throughout my career, treating people the way I would want to be treated if I needed some assistance.  The gratitude in their eyes says it all.

There have been times when I’ve asked for help and it’s been denied.  That’s hard to swallow, and beyond my comprehension why someone would not take a few minutes to help.

So why is being too generous a weakness? I guess because sometimes I put the needs of others before my own work. I help them first.

That’s a price I’m willing to pay. My work still gets done. And hopefully, the people I’ve helped will remember this time and pay it forward by helping someone else.

Or by helping me if I need it.  Even seasoned executives can use assistance now and then.

Five Things to Remember from College

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Two Yorkshire Pigs

I love being on a college campus!

There’s an energy that permeates just about every building and walkway.  It’s fun to watch the students coming and going, stopping to study or engaged in conversations.  They are eager to learn and are busy outlining goals for their careers.

I remember feeling that way.

Just wish that type of interest/excitement/whatever-you-want-to-call-it would continue throughout our careers.

Something happens to us work veterans after years on the job. We tend to get bogged down in the details, becoming frustrated and sometimes disillusioned to the point of wanting to throw in the towel and open a pig farm to get away from it all.

Pigs?

I’m just brainstorming here. How hard could it be? Just feed them and shelter them; they seem to be happier dirty so no need to bathe them.   Downside is the natural odor that comes with a pig as well as litter-box issues.

You know I’m kidding, but I think you get my point.  We all have moments where we lack that college enthusiasm we once had.

If you find yourself frustrated and bogged down at work or lacking that level of excitement we once had, here are five things to remember from college that may help get you back on course:

  • Continue to learn. Just because we’ve left campus doesn’t mean we should stop learning. It’s good for our brains and brings a sense of accomplishment when we’re through.  Not to mention it’s great for the resume.
  • Work with intention.  I remember being so intent on doing well for my classes that I developed almost laser-like focus to achieve a good grade.  We should do the same at work; think of how much we would accomplish!  Maybe we’ll even get a raise, if not a gold star on our Power Point presentation.  At least we can go home knowing we did our best.
  • Focus on what’s important. In school, we all had dreams and aspirations that helped us focus on the prize – getting an A, receiving a diploma and getting a job.  While we won’t get a diploma from work, by setting work-related goals we can focus on what’s truly important for us at our jobs.
  • Make new friends (network).  This was easy at school since we met other students all the time.  It’s a bit more difficult out in the work force but equally as important. Whether it’s networking, making new friends or even keeping up with old friends, make time to reach out and touch someone.
  • Look toward the future with optimism.  With our careers wide open and out in front of us, in school we were excited to jump into the future.  As our careers progress, we sometimes get so overwhelmed with the here and now that we forget that each day is building on our future.  No matter where you are in your career, try to maintain some of that fresh-out-of-school optimism. It’s amazing how good you’ll feel at work.

I’m going to continue to visit a college campus periodically to feel energized to learn and optimistic about the future – my future.

Without pigs.

Haunted House

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Halloween chair

When Hubby and I purchased our home we were super excited for Halloween. After years of living in apartments with zero Halloween fun, we figured a neighborhood would be totally different.

We envisioned throngs of children dressed in costumes ringing our doorbell begging for candy. We imagined the giggles and shrieks as we passed out tons of sweets, making us the most popular house on the block.

We purchased extra bags of treats to be sure we had enough.

We turned on every light so children and parents knew we were at home. Honestly, you could see our house from space, it was so bright.

As the sun went down, our anticipation grew. The door bell would ring any second now.

Yep, any second. Tic, toc, tic, toc. Any second now.

It got darker. I went outside to make sure the lights were on.

We decided that maybe the previous owners were not kid-friendly and therefore our house had some stigma attached. We brought lawn chairs out front to look more appealing and to give candy to anyone who came within 100 yards of our house. 

Still, nothing.

Honestly, there weren’t any kids to be seen on our street. Not even a squirrel or a cricket.

But we knew our ‘hood was full of kids. What happened? Did we move into a haunted house?

We felt like Linus, all alone in the pumpkin patch waiting for the Great Pumpkin. We feared walking back inside at the end of the evening with our heads hanging in shame having distributed none of our candy.

After a thirty-second pity party, we started to laugh.

It was just a teensy bit funny, two adults sitting outside of a fully decorated lit-up home with bags of candy and not one single trick-or-treater in sight.

We quickly developed Plan B and went into action.

Grabbing our candy and a couple of flashlights we started walking. Didn’t take us long to find Halloween.

The streets behind ours were full of kids running from house to house. Parents had set up BBQ’s in the front yards with coolers and lawn chairs.  There were parties on every block.

We walked up and down, handing out our candy to kids, explaining to parents that we were new to the area. We learned that our street was perceived as having too much car traffic which explained why we had no trick or treat action.

We were invited to have hot dogs and drinks with our new neighbors, even to stay and relax in their lawn chairs.

We kept walking, passing out candy, enjoying this new Halloween tradition and meeting tons of neighbors.

That night, Halloween didn’t go as we had anticipated. The important thing is that we adjusted our plan, had a great evening and made new friends.

Each Halloween I am reminded of that first one in our house, when we sat in the lawn chairs while holding unopened bags of candy and felt like Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin that would never appear.

And I’m reminded of the lesson we learned about adapting to changing circumstances.

I’ve tried to apply that same lesson to other areas of my life, including work. If something doesn’t go as planned, take a minute to assess the situation, develop Plan B and start moving forward.

It’s better than sitting alone in the pumpkin patch all night, that’s for sure.

Have You Cracked the Networking Code?

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When I was first starting out, I had no idea what it meant to network.  This is the stuff they talked about in business school yet failed to teach.

Don’t laugh but I honestly thought that networking was akin to sales cold-calling.  Since my only experience meeting new people was during our weekly after-work happy hours, I assumed that networking was similar.

Networking to me meant surveying the bar to find a friendly-looking person, grab my business card and go introduce myself.

We were already dressed in our business professional attire. We had business cards with us. This HAD to be what they were talking about, right?

Yeah, it was awkward.

And I wondered why I never got any dates.  Or made any business connections.

Luckily for me I was already networking; I just didn’t know it.

Every year I sent Christmas cards to a huge list that included relatives, friends from high school, college and business school, as well as friends of my parents that I had known since childhood.  That list expanded to include work colleagues and business associates.

Periodically I would call or email someone I hadn’t seen in a while to say hello; that would lead to lunch or dinner to catch-up in person.

As I worked my way up the corporate ladder and made business connections with suppliers, I kept their names and phone numbers in my Filofax long before we had smart phones.

I employed the same techniques with business colleagues as I did with my friends, periodically emailing or calling them or having lunch with them, even long after I had moved on to other jobs.  And I continued this relationship-building everywhere I worked.

After many years of doing this, a colleague heard me mention that Hubby and I send out hundreds of Christmas cards.  My colleague said, “You are so well-connected!”

That was the first time I ever thought that I might have cracked the networking code.

There it is; the secret of networking.  I’ve laid it out for you.

What; it’s still not clear?  Let me say it a different way:  Communicate with people you know and meet; do this regularly.

Networking, at a basic level, is keeping up with the people you know and meet.  To take it to the next level, you build a relationship with those people through work or friendships or however it is you know them.

The key is staying connected. I’m not gonna lie; it takes work to keep these relationships going.  But that’s what networking is about; building a relationship; one that is strong enough so when you need a favor like, “Will you recommend me for a job?” your network is willing and able to help.

Think you don’t have a network?  I bet you do.

Sit down and start listing all of your close friends and relatives. Then branch out to other friends; your sisters’ friends; your parents’ friends. Then everyone you know at your current job; everyone at your last job and the job before that, and so on.  List as many people as you can remember from college; your classmates, sorority or fraternity pals; friends from any clubs you belonged to, sports teams you played on, etc.  List people you know at your church, any volunteer organizations you work with, etc.

How does your list look now?  Do you have some connections?  I know you do.

And you know what?  Your connections have connections.  That’s how this starts.  Your connections can introduce you to more connections.

Remember to carry business cards with you at all times, even to a funeral (I wrote a post about this; check it out here).  You never know where or when you might meet someone.

Look at you; you’ve just cracked the networking code.  I knew you could do it.

Sound of Silence

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It’s hard for me to be still.  Like a puppy full of energy, I’m usually in constant motion.

And that includes my mouth.  I’ll admit that I have the gift of gab.  I enjoy socializing with others and good conversation.  Honestly, I could probably talk to anyone about anything.

In my defense, some of this stems from working at home. Since I’m by myself most of the time, as soon as I come in contact with another human I’m ready to chat.  I’ve tried talking to my wonderful executive assistant, but all she does is wag her tail and drool.

Hubby has a difficult time understanding that I am almost unable to sit still.  He can easily sit for hours mesmerized by TV; the only movement is his constant channel surfing.

And he has no problem being still long enough to take a nap, something that is so foreign to me I can only do it when I’m sick with a fever.

As much as I’m always in motion and ready to chat the hours away, recently I’ve discovered the power of silence.

Sitting at my desk, I had been trying to focus on some projects as well as my personal business strategy.  Yet my thoughts were all over the board.

Frustrated and desperate, I decided to sit outside for a few minutes.  I thought I may as well get some fresh air for a change.

Sitting in the back yard, I sat in silence without any electronic devices and only the birds chirping as I closed my eyes and tried to focus on breathing.

I let my mind wander in no particular direction.  As I enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the silence, my mind suddenly clicked into focus.

Answers to problems started entering my mind where before there was confusion.  Creative ideas started flowing again.  It was like a dam burst and I went back inside to jot down my thoughts.

Silence, it turns out, is a gift for all of us.  And if you listen closely, silence makes a sound.

The sound of silence is the clear thinking that comes with being away from the constant barrage of noise and information that our electronic devices provide.

The sound of silence is free from constantly talking about something and actually thinking about it instead.

If we can tap into the silence, we may find that the answer we need is right in front of us.

Now that I think about it – thanks to sitting in the backyard – I remember that I used to get some of my best thinking done during long walks with our dog.  We had a great time roaming the neighborhood for half an hour at a time, and I would return home refreshed.

Unfortunately I’ve lost some of the opportunities to hear the silence as our dog is in her mature years with a hip issue and our walks have decreased in duration. Now I’m going to seek out other ways to hear the silence.

Whatever situation we are in, whether it’s looking for a new job, developing a strategy or simply trying to complete an assignment, we should tap into the silence for awhile and see what kind of answers we find.

Silence really does make a sound.