Time to Leave

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Woman Having Birthday at Work

Hubby and I love parties!  Friends, music, eating and entertainment all in one place.  And we are sticklers for party etiquette.  We try to arrive slightly after the start time to allow the host time to be ready.  And our goal is to leave the party while we – and the host – are still having a good time.  No one wants to be “that person”; the one who’s the last to leave, over-staying their welcome and still partying while the hosts have changed into pajamas and turned out the lights.

It’s relatively easy to know when to leave a party since they have a definite beginning and end.  A job, on the other hand, is a different story.

How do you know when it’s time to move on to the next opportunity?  Is it a certain number of years, or the desire for a promotion; the need for more money or simply boredom?  A shorter commute, perhaps?

All of those are valid reasons.  It’s really a personal decision, and each of us needs to determine what suits our needs, wants and desires.   Here are a few to get you started.

You Know It’s Time To Leave Your Job When:

  • The first thing you do Monday morning is program your Outlook calendar to countdown the days, hours, minutes and seconds until 5:00 pm Friday
  • You’ve been at the company for so long and lived through so many RIFs that everything has come full-circle: the people who were laid-off in the first round have returned as the newest hires
  • Before you get your first morning cup of coffee you’re planning where to go for lunch
  • Looking back at the original office directory, you are the only one on the list that’s still with the company
  • You know the entire cafeteria menu by heart, including prices and the staff know exactly what you will order without asking
  • Although an early adopter of LinkedIn, your profile has cobwebs due to lack of updates
  • The company loyalty program is named after you [the annual company loyalty award is named after you]
  • The new CEO asks for the company history and they call you

While these are great signs, sometimes the decision to leave is not that simple.  What if they don’t fit your particular situation?  In that case, take time – away from work – to clear your head and consider how you feel about your current job.  Ask yourself what you like about the company and the things that drive you crazy.  Most importantly, determine if you like the actual work.  Sometimes the work is great; it’s simply the environment that’s making you cray-cray.

Whatever the reason, just remember to leave the party while you’re still having fun and before anyone puts on their pj’s.   Now that would be awkward.

Fainting Is Not An Option

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interview pic

As a PR person, I’m no stranger to media interviews.  Sometimes I have the benefit of knowing the questions in advance and can carefully prepare my response.  Many times, though, I only have a high-level overview of what we will discuss.

Such was the situation with a recent radio interview I did.  I was told the host wanted to discuss job searches. 

That was it.  All the information I was given ahead of time: the job search.  Okay, I did get the time of the interview and the name of the host as well as the name of the show. But nothing more.

Job searches, lay-offs, reinventing yourself, interviewing tips. Talk about wide-open!  My mind raced with the different directions this conversation could go.

Normally I’m pretty cool under media interview pressure.  This time I was a giant bundle of sweat. Thank goodness we were not on Skype where they could see me.  Why was I so nervous? This time, it was personal – it was about me, my experience and my book.  The pressure I felt to “get it right” was overwhelming.

It might have helped to do the interview in-person instead of over the phone.  But the show was three states away so the phone was our best option.

Did I mention this was live?  No do-over if I messed up.

Yes, I had prepared.  In fact my Girl Scout instincts kicked into high-gear and I probably over-prepared. I tried to imagine possible questions and developed answers just in case, even typing them out so I could have them in front of me.   Information about the interviewer, recent government job statistics and my resume were at my finger tips, held in place by sticky notes with reminders to mention my name, my book and my website.

And like any good Girl Scout, I had emergency s’mores on hand just in case.

Secretly I wondered if the radio host had sticky notes about me in front of her.  Now that would have made me feel a bit better!  But listening to the earlier part of her show, it sounded like she was cool as a cucumber.

I knew I had only one shot at getting this right.  All I could think of when the interview started was, “Breathe – fainting is not an option!”

Being prepared was definitely a necessity.  The time and energy I spent preparing was key to making the interview sound easy, almost un-rehearsed.  I knew the key points I wanted to get across above all else: my name, my book and my website.

My preparation for the radio interview was really no different than preparing for a job interview.  We all should know our resumes like the back of our hand, have some career highlights to share and have questions to ask the interviewer. Above all, we should know exactly what key points we want to get across in order to leave a great impression.

The radio interview went very well.  My four-legged executive assistant managed to be quiet and the doorbell didn’t ring.  I remembered my key points. And no, I did not faint.

I rewarded myself by eating the emergency s’mores.  Now that’s success!

The Girl And The New Job Decision

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Decision pic

I had a big decision to make.  The magnitude of this decision weighed heavily on me, my head spinning as I ran through the options in my mind.

This seemed to be a great time to enlist the advice of trusted friends.  So I took a poll.

Do I cut my hair short, or continue to let it grow?

Yes, this was a major decision. To cut my hair or not.  After all, it takes a super long time to grow it out. Clearly this was a first-world problem, but it was important to me nonetheless.

To be clear, when it comes to my hair I’m not afraid of change. I’ve had it so long I could sit on it and so short it was almost a buzz-cut, and everything in between.

After all, it’s just hair and it does grow back.  I become very courageous in the stylist’s chair, proclaiming, “Do whatever you want!”  Most of the time, I’m lucky and walk out of the salon with an uber-stylish new ‘do.

Yet we all know that one miss-snip of the shears and we can be left with a hot mess.  And having bad hair is a downer every second of every day until it grows out.

This time I was on the fence with my decision, having spent the last year growing my hair.  It was time for a consultation. Not sure why I felt the need to get a focus group together for something as simple as a haircut.

Clearly my mind had been playing tricks on me, confusing my work projects with personal projects.

In the end, the decision was mine.  Didn’t matter what the focus group said; it’s my hair and I had to feel good about it.  Besides, there was no clear consensus among focus group participants. Shocker.

The problem with involving too many people in the decision process is just that we all have different opinions.  It may be that we really don’t want to hear the opinions of others; we may simply want validation for a decision that we’ve already made in our head.

Same thing is true for a new job decision.  We need to decide for ourselves what is best for us.

It’s okay to have a trusted advisor or two to provide an outside, objective opinion and strategic counsel.  We don’t want to make a job decision that’s based on emotion; sometimes we get so fired up about a job that we’re too close to the situation to be objective.

But the advisor’s job should be simply to provide a sounding board.  No interjecting their own biases as if they were the ones standing in your shoes.

Don’t get me wrong; friends want to help and think they have our best interests in mind.  Yet they don’t really know everything about our situation.

I’ve made this mistake before, consulting others about a new job decision.

Once, when I had to make a difficult decision to leave one job in pursuit of something totally different, a former colleague offered unsolicited advice about my decision.  And it was not pretty. This person said I was making a mistake, along with some other opinions about my career.

While I understood why my colleague would consider it a mistake for her family and financial situation, she failed to understand that my situation was very different from hers.

That was pretty much a “friend fail”, in my mind.  Note that this “advice” didn’t help me, nor did I change my mind.  It momentarily caused me to question myself – which is never good – yet ultimately it was a good lesson. It reminded me that it’s my life and my career, and I have to live with the results.

Just like my hair.  Which I did cut short, by the way.  And I’m loving it.

Three Basic Steps to Career Reinvention

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your career

Just read an article in the paper that talked about reinventing yourself in your career.  It was one of those employment advice columns, and the person asking the question basically stated that it’s not only difficult to start over when you are over forty, but it’s ridiculous.

I know what you’re thinking; someone actually reads a real newspaper?   Now that’s ridiculous.

Seriously, as someone who has reinvented herself several times during the course of my career, I think statements like this are ridiculous.  In my opinion, the person writing the question seems to be enjoying a pity-party. Hope they are having fun.

Let me share some of the different points brought up in the question:

–  Motivational speakers talk as if it’s “nothing” to follow your passion

–  Workers who were raised to follow the career paths they were told to follow or do what their parents did with jobs that offered security above everything else now find their long-term security threatened

–  When you’ve got umpteen years in the same field, no matter what kind, it’s not easy to reinvent yourself

–  How does one even find their passion to begin with

As a motivational speaker myself, not only am I offended but I would never say it’s “nothing” to follow your dreams.  After all, this is my passion, and I figured out how to do it.

Anything worth having takes energy, time and determination.  For me, even college took everything I had to make it to graduation.  But if you’re not willing to put in the effort, you’re going to be stuck in the same place.

Career reinvention at any age can be difficult, yet it’s definitely possible.  When it comes down to it, there are three basic steps:

  1. Figure out what it is you want to do.
  2. Figure out how to do it
  3. Just do it

Sounds too simple, right? 

You’re thinking, “I just wasted time to read a bunch of crazy talk”. Let me assure you that I have not lost my mind and I’m not just making this stuff up.  I’ve reinvented myself at least three times during my career; here are the biggies:

–          Engineering to retail buying

–          Retail buying to marketing

–          Marketing to public relations

–          Public relations to author and speaker

And this doesn’t count all the minor reinventions within each of those careers.

I get it. Really, I do.  It’s hard.  I can hear you saying, “But you don’t understand; you’re not in my shoes”. I agree – I’m not in your shoes.

Here’s a look at my shoes:  Hubby and I were both laid-off within one year.  Both of us are considered to be “older” workers – you know, in a “protected class” in HR terms.  We have a mortgage and other expenses, and neither of us comes from a wealthy family who could possibly lend a financial hand.

Guess what?  Both of us found ways to make money at jobs we enjoyed. I discovered a new passion and found employment that leveraged not only this passion but my career experience.

So how is it possible to successfully reinvent yourself in your career?  It’s a bit different for everyone but here are some key points that I’ve learned about this process.

  • You have to be open to new opportunities as they present themselves.  Don’t “pooh-pooh” something without hearing more about it.
  • You have to be willing to be uncomfortable.  Trying something new brings a certain level of discomfort.  Embrace it.
  • You may have to be willing to accept a lower title and/or less money.  We all have to start somewhere.
  • You may have to work at something that’s not your dream job while you figure out how to pursue your passion.
  • Don’t have a passion yet?  Take up a hobby, enroll in a class, do volunteer work or take a part-time job in a field of interest to see if anything clicks.
  • Listen to yourself and try not to be influenced by well-meaning friends and family. This is your career; not theirs.

Again, I’m not saying that it’s easy to reinvent yourself.  If finding a new career opportunity or discovering your passion was as simple as donning ruby red slippers, clicking your heels and stating, “Find my passion; find my passion”, don’t you think everyone would be doing it?

But I can say with absolute certainty that it’s possible.  And the rewards are great.

I’m sure I’ll be revisiting this topic again here on my blog.  Stay tuned. As usual, I’ve got lots to say.

It’s All About Bright, Shiny Objects

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Disco Ball

Years ago I worked with a “master presenter”.  This guy was superb at creating PowerPoints that were almost works of art.  His verbal presentation skills were stellar.  At his meetings, attendees would almost enter a trance-like state, hanging on his every word.

At the end of each presentation, applause ensued and attendees headed back to their desks praising this genius and his words of wisdom.  All wanted to work under his tutelage because surely he had all the answers.

We were all attracted to the “bright, shiny object” that was his presentation.

After attending a few of his meetings, I realized his true genius.  He actually said NOTHING in his presentations.  There was no strategy, no goals, no tactics to execute.  Oh, the presentations were beautiful, but they were empty of true business substance, filled only with lots of theory and questions to ponder.

If a company could be successful by simply thinking of ideas without considering execution and outcome, or discussing other lofty thoughts that may or may not be on strategy, this guy was your man.

That was his genius; he was so good at positioning himself and his ideas that we all believed without questioning.

Call me crazy, but I would rather have a straightforward presentation that provides serious content that can help with my business needs.

I recently met another such “genius”.   His presentation was full of cool graphics and he spoke with such confidence that some were ready to buy without asking critical questions.   This presenter used the age-old tactic of rapidly speaking and moving through the presentation, so fast it was difficult to take notes.

Since this was not my first rodeo, I recognized the bright, shiny object approach. 

Most of the presentation was “Marketing 101”; nothing new.   The words on the paper sounded good, yet there were no specific goals, tactics for execution or metrics for success.

Lack of clear metrics alone should have been a red flag for everyone in the meeting. Most disturbing to me was that this was something he had done years ago and he was relying on past success, despite the fact that the business landscape has changed with the wide-spread use of social media.

But he had a bright, shiny object.  

Apparently, bright, shiny objects appeal to lots of people, including executives.  This was a reminder to me that even if you have a great product or a fabulous idea, if it’s not positioned well it won’t sell.

The same can be said for job interviews.  Candidates that position themselves well have a better chance of landing the job.  While experience and education are required, the entire “presentation” must be packaged well to gain the attention of the hiring manager in order to win the job.

That includes a well-presented resume, dressing appropriately, showing confidence, asking the right questions and providing stellar answers.

Shouldn’t hiring managers dig deep and ask probing questions to make sure a candidate is truly the best for the job?  In a perfect world, yes.  But managers are short-staffed and pressed for time.   Doesn’t matter if you are the better candidate in terms of experience, your total presentation will be the final test.

I’ve got to remember to position myself in the best possible way during interviews, providing great information that shows the hiring manager know I’m the best candidate.  Let’s just hope the job opportunity isn’t a dud, packaged as a ‘bright shiny object’.

Do I Know You?

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Businessman Giving out Card 

I stare at the face on the screen, my brain searching for any memory of this person.  For the umpteenth time I look at the name, still not remembering anything. 

The face stares back.  It’s a great picture of this person, dressed in business attire, not a candid shot taken at a party with some questionable activities going on.  I mean, we all love a good party but those “beer-bucket-on-the-head” photos may not be as funny years from now.

Surely we must have been friends, or colleagues, or at the very least acquaintances at some point in my life.  Why else would someone want to connect with me on social media?

I scroll down to read any information about this person.  Didn’t go to school together, their career seems a bit different than mine.  Ah-ha!  There it is; years ago we both worked at the same company.   

Yet I still have no idea who you are.

Probably due to the fact that while we were both employed by the same company, this person worked in a different city than I did. And to my knowledge we never even attended a meeting together. 

Seems like I’m getting more of these random requests from people I don’t know, with no explanation in the note as to why they are reaching out to me.  Am I the only one who thinks we should have at least some knowledge of the people we connect with online? 

Perhaps you think I’m conservative.  Or maybe you’re thinking that I just “don’t get” social media.  As an early adopter of LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest, I’m pretty sure I understand the concept. 

I’ll be the first one to tout the virtues of these platforms, especially LinkedIn and Facebook.   They are great ways to maintain and build your business network, as well as reconnect with friends and family socially. 

In fact, I’m forever preaching the benefits of LinkedIn to those who are in a job search, and I’m amazed when I discover that many have not made use of this platform.

That said, I think we need to remember that social networking is not a high school popularity contest.  There’s no prize for the most connections.  The Great Social Media Gods are not keeping tally.  More isn’t necessarily better.

I’m sure I have hurt some feelings when rejecting “friend” requests on Facebook, preferring to truly be friends with someone before allowing them in.   Radical concept, I know.

For LinkedIn, I can see the value in relaxing the standards since I’m not sharing details of my weekend or the fabulous pair of shoes I just picked up at the mall.

Yet I still see the need to use some discretion on this platform.

This person whose photo I’m looking at is probably very nice.  My assumption is that they are trying to find a job as it appears they are out of work, although I have no idea since they did not include an explanation in the connection request.

My challenge is that even if I connect with you, I don’t KNOW you.  And that means I’m not comfortable either connecting you with others or sending your resume to HR because, again, I don’t KNOW you. 

Did you really manage everything alone, as your profile indicates, or were you part of a team?  How about your people skills? I need to know about those too.

True networking is getting to know people so they have at least some knowledge of your personality and abilities.  It’s not about finding any and all who worked at the same company, or worse, just randomly trying to connect so you can brag to your friends about your huge network.

My apologies to this nice-looking person, but I’m denying your request.  If you feel strongly that we should connect, please send me a note with some sort of introduction or explanation.  

I, too, want to have great connections.  I’m just not in it to win a popularity contest.

Direction Unknown

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Ever feel like you’re spinning out of control? That life is controlling you, instead of you taking the lead?

It seems like I always feel that way. Too much to do, not enough time.

This is not a bad thing.  I’ve got so many interests that I could be busy 24/7.  Could be worse; I could have no interests at all and struggle to find ways to fill my days.  Yet I may have too much of a good thing – between work, writing, family, volunteering, exercising and other assorted hobbies, it’s hard to find even a minute to sit back and relax.

It happened again Saturday night, the overwhelming feeling of “must do this, must do that” overtaking me.   

Saturday night used to be “Date Night”.  A sacred time when we were free from work and stress, when we allowed ourselves time to simply have fun.  Unfortunately Hubby and I had forgotten this ritual and again found ourselves, late afternoon on Saturday, with no plans at all for that evening.

Guess we just hoped that something exciting would happen without any forethought on our part.

I tried to calm myself, as I could feel a meltdown coming on.  Hubby was trying his best to get into the spirit of a last-minute date night, even stepping outside to call me on the phone from the backyard to ask me out.

“Humph! Don’t you think it’s kind of late to be asking me out, an hour before you want to leave?”  I cried.  “Do you just assume I’m sitting around waiting for you to call?”

Amazing how easily I reverted back to single-gal mode, huh?

Knowing that we were reaching critical mass and tears were imminent, Hubby came up with a back-up plan that most women love to hear: “Let’s have dinner and go shopping!”   Gotta love Hubby; he sure knows how to make a girl smile.  Food and fashion are always a win with me.

While this was a nice short-term fix, we still have the bigger issue of our lives spinning out of control.  A planner at heart, I know that direction, not intention, determines destination.  Hubby and I made a promise that night to work on planning more fun, rather than waiting for fun to find us.

This is true for careers as well as date nights.

When I was laid-off, I took this to heart and mapped out a plan.  Starting with the end result, I worked backwards to figure out how to accomplish my job search goals.  I even wrote everything down on a grease board.  Sometimes it seems like writing it down makes plans more real.  After all, it doesn’t matter how much you want something to happen – without a plan, chances are you’ll stay put.

Simply intending to work on a job search is not enough. We need to have direction – a plan – in order to reach our destination of a job offer.

Even now that Hubby and I are working again we still need to map out our career goals as well as our life goals to make sure they work together in harmony.  Hard to remember this, but we are trying.

Yes, I’ve forgiven Hubby for asking me out at the last-minute.  Although I’m sure next time he’ll remember to plan in advance.

Right, Hubby? Hubby?

Promises, Promises – Some Jobs are Too Good to be True

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I have an announcement to make, and I’m so excited.  I’m going to quit writing. Yep, quitting my favorite pastime so that I can pursue an opportunity to make $60,000 per year working part-time.  Can you believe it?  That’s great money! And since I’ll only be working part-time I’ll have extra time to spend reading and sitting by the pool, in addition to working on my abs of steel at the gym.  It’s almost too good to be true.

What is the opportunity, you ask?  Well, I’m not exactly sure, but it’s got to be great.  See, I found this flyer taped to my front door recruiting me for this opportunity.  Very personalized, huh?  They want little ol’ me!

Don’t believe me?  Here’s the opportunity, typed exactly as it is on the flyer, minus the recruiter’s name and phone number.  Sorry, I’m not sharing that information for fear too many will apply.

LEARN HOW TO MAKE AN EXTRA $60,000 A YEAR

This system is proven to work, even during a recession

If you’re concerned about the economy, you need to look at this

Will work even if you are on unemployment

This is NOT a get rich quick scheme

It is a business plan and concept you work at part time

If becoming financially independent is important to you and your family, call to see if you qualify

Call now for an appointment.  

Unbelievable, huh?

All kidding and sarcasm aside, it really is unbelievable.  There’s so much wrong here that I’m not even sure where to begin.

  • If this is a “proven” system that works, why isn’t everyone doing it? I’m sure congress would love to know about it so they can get people working again.
  • Make “$60K working part-time”?  What kind of legal part-time job can provide that kind of income?
  • “Call to see if you qualify”. LOL!  I’m betting that all of us qualify. I’m also betting that it costs money for us to learn the “secrets” to this “business plan that’s NOT a get rich quick scheme”. 

This makes my head hurt.  It gives false hope to people who are desperate to find a job, and it may even cost them money to get started. If not money, it’s got to cost time.  Nothing is free, after all.

When you’re in the hunt for a new job, the recruitment process is daunting.  Applications must be submitted online even if you have a network connection at the company.  There’s usually a phone interview (or two or three) followed by a couple in-person meetings.  After what seems to be an eternity, you might be lucky enough to actually get an offer. It’s enough to make anyone throw up their hands in frustration and search for a quick, easy, fix like the one above instead of a job lead that actually nets a good opportunity.

To land a great job you simply have to do the work, including networking, applying and interviewing.  Over and over again.  There’s no “quick fix” when it comes to finding your next opportunity.

As for the job advertised on the flyer, I’m sure that somewhere in the world there is a person who actually has benefitted from such a proposal.  My uncle would have done well at this; a natural salesman, he could sell ice to an Eskimo.

As far as I’m concerned, a better plan is to persevere with the job search the old-fashioned way through networking, filling out applications and going on interviews.

I’m also keeping my writing gig; it’s too much fun.  Especially when I see things like this to write about.

Ready, Set, Action! Searching for a New Job

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What’s the most important part about searching for a new job? 

A.      A fabulous resume

B.      Confidence in your abilities

C.      Making a connection with the interviewer

D.      Wearing the right clothes

I’m sure you’re thinking that if the clothes make the woman, then the answer must be D.  While nothing makes me happier than rockin’ a new outfit, it’s not the right answer here.  This is a trick question; none of the answers are correct.

The most important part of a job search is actually applying for a job!  It’s taking action to get a reaction.   Sounds simple, right?  If so, when was the last time you took positive action and sent out a resume?  While you still had a job?  Hmmm?

We all reach a point in our careers where we are curious to see what else is out there.  It could be that we’re tired of our current situation, bored with our work, ready for some new water-cooler chat or simply curious to see if the grass really is greener on the other side.  Oh, we all talk a good game, venting our frustrations with overused phrases like, “That’s it; I’m getting out of here”, and “I can’t take this anymore”, and my personal favorite, “I wish they would just give me a package to leave”.  

Yeah, right. Those of us who have been to the Land of Layoff know that those packages are never as good as we expect them to be. 

When push comes to shove, most of us rarely take action.  We sit back and wait.

I imagine actors preparing for a scene would have similar issues taking action, if it wasn’t for the annoying guy with the clapperboard shouting, “Action!” Maybe we would be more motivated to search for a job if we had an annoying guy with a board shouting at us.  

I’ve always been a fan of periodically applying for jobs as they present themselves – even if I’m perfectly happy with my current situation.  Some think that’s crazy, yet for me it is about self-empowerment.  Just applying for opportunities can give me an energy boost that’s better than any caffeinated beverage.  The upside of taking action is that I feel like I’m in the driver’s seat, in control of my career. 

The added bonus is that occasionally applying for a new job gives me the discipline to keep my resume updated.  If I’m fortunate enough to land even a phone interview, it may confirm my satisfaction with my current job – or show me that there are new companies I might enjoy working at.  Not to mention that it helps me understand my value in the work place.

Note that I’m not so much advocating that we all leave our jobs as I am persuading us to keep our resumes – as well as our interview skills – up to date.   This way we’ll be prepared when we do see a great opportunity, or if the unfortunate pink slip lands on our desk.

It’s easy to buy the new outfit, update the resume and talk a good game.  The hard part is taking action.

I Love Rock ‘n Roll

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We all have an inner “someone”, a persona that others rarely see but that’s just beneath the surface waiting to get out.  Mine is a rock star.  From the outside I may look all business, but on the inside I’m all rock ‘n roll. I love music and going to concerts. Especially classic rock and ‘80’s hair bands like Bon Jovi.

When Hubby and I began dating I asked him to join me at a concert; my treat. Isn’t that what liberated women do anymore, ask their guy out?  It was a stadium concert, none other than the Rolling Stones, and to me it was the opportunity of a lifetime. These guys have been rocking and partying hard for decades and you never know when they might decide to call it quits.  After all, I imagine you can only have so many women throw themselves at you before it gets old.

 My expectation for the show was to dress in my finest all-black rock star attire and cut loose, expecting Hubby to do the same.  Bad assumption on my part.   Here I am, looking every bit the rock goddess. Here comes Hubby, wearing a golf shirt, khakis and white leather gym shoes that were so bright new you needed sunglasses to avoid the glare.  I didn’t say a word.  At the stadium, Hubby went to purchase beverages while I ran into the ladies room.  Stepping out of the restroom, I cringed as I saw Hubby’s new look: he had two sets of binoculars strapped across his chest, one on the left and one on the right, holding drinks and hot dogs, looking more like a tourist at Disney than a concertgoer.  Words jumped out before I could stop them as I hissed, “Take off those binoculars and be COOL!  This is the Rolling Stones!” Ouch. I still wince at the words.

Apparently I underestimated Hubby’s inner persona.  On our next date (yes, he did ask me out again despite my outburst) I opened the door to find Hubby leaning against the wall wearing a skin-tight t-shirt, jeans, a leather jacket and sunglasses, with an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth.  “Am I cool enough for you now?” he asked.  Point: Hubby. And I knew I had met my match.

Most of the time I try to repress my inner rock star, but sometimes she just has to come out – like at concerts.  This is fine, since my inner rock star is only a small part of who I am.  My day-to-day personality is much more important and needs to be front and center.  My inner rock star is fine with this arrangement.

Suppressing my inner rock star is easy.  Suppressing my personality – who I am – is not.  Especially at work.  I’m confident, creative, intelligent, passionate, logical, funny, straightforward and assertive. I’m a thinker who’s not afraid to make decisions, although I enjoy working as a team for the good of the group and the project.  I value those who work for me and will support them as they learn and grow.  Ninety-nine percent of the time, my personality is an asset in the workplace.

Every once in a while, I find that others want me to suppress my personality and be something I’m not.  They want me to be a shrinking Violet, or a passive Patty, or simply accept decisions that are detrimental to the team or company without at least pointing out alternate solutions.  I’ve been criticized for wanting to – in a nice way, of course – ask a question of a colleague.  I’m not exactly sure why asking a question that may help me better understand a situation to develop a solution could be detrimental, but some think it is.

I’ve suppressed my personality before and can do it easily for short periods.  But over the long-haul this is not a good situation. I become frustrated, which doesn’t help anyone, especially me.  It’s important that I work in an environment that allows me to be “me”.  My inner rock star may retreat during business hours as long as my personality is allowed to shine. It’s essential to who I am.

As I look at new opportunities, I’m going to allow my personality to take center stage.   If the company doesn’t like the “real” me, then maybe it’s not the right gig.  And if she’s lucky, I may let my inner rock star make a brief appearance during the interview too.  As long as she promises not to outshine me. Rock on!

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved