Girl Power

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One of the benefits of being an author is that I get invited to speak at different groups and events.  And that means I get to meet new people – always a plus for a social person like me.  It’s especially good if there’s food involved; bonus points if there’s chocolate.  

Recently I had the opportunity to meet a wonderful group of women who are part of an organization designed specifically to support local business women.  They meet regularly to talk about business issues in general as well as those specific to women.  They want to empower themselves and other women through constant learning and growing. 

During my time with them, we focused on reinventing yourself in your career.  It was a wonderfully engaging conversation.  We talked about almost everything: our careers, the economy, even shoes.  It’s a universal rule: whenever two are more women are gathered, there will be a discussion at some point about shoes.

This was “Girl-Power” at its finest.  Or whatever you call it now that we are adults.

Although I was the guest speaker, I felt immediately like part of the group. The chatter flowed effortlessly as though we had been friends for years.   And I was reminded about the importance of supporting our friends and colleagues as we journey through our business lives. 

Last week I wrote about neglect as it pertains to our resumes and interview skills.  This meeting reminded me that we also need to keep our friendships thriving – both personal friendships as well as business acquaintances. 

This is beyond networking; this is a support system.  And it’s vital to our career growth. 

I, for one, am guilty of neglecting my support system.  Not talking about family here.  Hubby looks wounded, like he’s been kicked off my support team.  He is my rock, and always will be.  It’s just that everyone – women and men – need a business support system outside of the family.   People who are objective third parties.

This group of women reminded me that I need to make my support system a priority, although that’s easier said than done. We’re all busy, and adding one more thing to the schedule seems like a monumental task.  It’s important for me to do this so I can continue to grow in my career and as a person.

I sure don’t want to wait until a layoff or I’m desperate to begin a job search to try and round up my friends and colleagues.  Yikes.  That would be like asking friends to come to my wedding at the last minute. 

To my Girl-Power friends out there, I’m sorry I’ve neglected you.  It’s about time we re-grouped for a friendly networking event.  If I’m in charge, there will be lots of food and plenty of beverages – and definitely chocolate. 

And don’t forget to put your best foot forward – shoes will be the first topic on the agenda.

Neglect

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Fence

Hubby and I were ecstatic when we bought our home.  A contemporary gem with walls of windows in every room that looked out onto beautiful spaces, we couldn’t believe our good fortune.   While it had, as they say in real estate, “good bones”, it needed serious cosmetic help.

Multiple previous owners had each left their interior design stamp, layering on hideous wallpapers with different trims that defied logic.  And don’t get me started on the floors.  We had five different kinds of flooring, including three different carpets.

We knew that over time we could fix the inside.  We were thrilled that the outside was in great condition – beautifully landscaped, fence in good shape, solid retaining wall.   Eventually we were able to slowly renovate the inside to our liking.  It’s beautiful and we couldn’t be happier.

Until recently.

The once beautiful outside spaces had become a wasteland, the type you see in sci-fi movies, all gray with an assortment of broken things strewn about.  What was left of plant life was overgrown in many areas and barren in others. Hardly the view we wanted to enjoy from our walls of windows.

In all fairness to me and Hubby, neither of us have a green thumb nor do we have an interest in yard work.   Oh, we enjoy being in the yard. We just want someone else to take care of it.

The only plant life remaining was indestructible bamboo.  Some years ago, in an attempt to make a Zen-like retreat around the pool, we let a landscaper convince us that bamboo was the way to go.  He said it would require almost zero maintenance and would withstand the drastic temperature changes, especially the heat.  We were sold.

You all know where this is going.  Didn’t take long for the bamboo to take over.  Sure, it withstands any temperature.  In fact, we couldn’t kill it – and we tried.  Hubby regularly inspected our neighbors’ yard each week to make sure the bamboo wasn’t invading.

The real issue here was not the bamboo, although it’s a nice excuse.  Hubby and I had neglected the outside spaces, putting our finances towards travel and other home improvements.

How bad was it, you ask? The neighbors would creep down the alley in their cars, staring and shaking their heads. The once solid retaining wall had crumbled to dust and we feared sliding downhill into the neighbors’ house. The fence had weathered to an ugly gray and was barely standing.

Actually, it wasn’t standing at all. What was left of the fence was secured to the house with a variety of straps, two-by-fours and rocks.  Every night we’d watch the weather report for wind gust predictions, knowing that blowing out candles on a birthday cake would be more difficult than blowing our fence down.

Desperation set in as we waited for our turn on the fence company’s list, our wood-strapped-to-the-house contraption becoming even more of an eye-sore.  Hubby spent hours trying to secure the remaining boards and both of us tried to reassure the neighbors that we planned to replace the fence.

We had to view this ugliness every day from our walls of windows, we were sick of it and now we had to act quickly.

Why, oh why, did we let it get to this?

There are many reasons for neglecting something so important.  Money, time, hoping the problem will resolve itself.  That works for awhile, but at some point you have to take action.

How many of us neglect a job search when we already have a job?  We ignore that things may not be as good as we’d like at the office since we do have a salary and work.  Besides, it’s so much trouble to update the resume, work your network, and apply for jobs.  Sometimes we take the ostrich approach, like Hubby and I did with the fence, hoping that our resumes remain strong even if we fail to update them.

Problem with that approach – for either our fence or a job search – is that there comes a critical point where we simply must act.  A job search is not something you want to do under pressure if you can avoid it. Don’t neglect your job search skills until you’re desperate.  Keep an updated resume and stay in touch with your network.

Our new fence is great.  Now I’m working on my resume, just in case.

The Art of the Sale

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used car salesman

It’s important to know your strengths; what you’re most skilled at.  For example, a career in sales would be a huge mistake for me.  While I’ve worked in retail most of my life, my focus has been corporate office stuff.

It could be residual scars left from having to sell fruitcakes for a school club – whose brilliant idea was that?  The first year was not so bad, as most neighbors politely purchased one to send to a distant relative.  But year two and three?  The neighbors saw me coming and immediately shut the blinds so I would think they were out. Honestly, no one really eats fruitcake anyway, so one is good for a lifetime.

Or maybe my lack of selling skills stem from the fact that I don’t like to be sold on anything.  If I feel the least bit of pressure from a sales associate, I will walk the other way no matter how great the item is. Even if it’s the last pair of this season’s trendiest sandals – I’m serious!

Hubby has watched when a sales associate has tried to trap me, especially those with fake sincerity. It’s not pretty.  My sarcasm and snarky comments can leave even the toughest salesperson wishing they had not approached me.  The commission isn’t worth it.

As we speak, there’s a car salesman who wishes he never met me – lost the sale of a new car due to over-selling.   In an attempt to pressure me into purchasing the car, he told me, “This is the ONLY car in this limited edition color in the state”.  “Really?” I said to him.  “I just drove the same make and model, in the limited edition color, at your competitor across town.”  He was silent as I walked out saying, “You should expect your customers to be smart, not gullible”.

Of course there is a bit of selling to every job and I’ve learned ways to approach others when I want to pitch an idea to them.  Usually a softer intro is best, like “I wanted to talk to you about an opportunity/idea; let’s see if it’s something we can work on”.

Working for big brands, I’ve been on the receiving end of more sales calls than I can remember. Seems like everyone on the planet has a great idea/product/project that would be PERFECT for my company.  Major brands are in the driver’s seat in these situations, as others are eager to work with them.

Just had a call from someone wanting to sell me on an idea for one of my clients who happens to be a big brand.  I’ve never been so offended in my life.  First, this sales person would hardly let me get a word in edge-wise.  Then he refused to provide key information about the opportunity – a reasonable request in order to make a decision – wanting me to pitch him on why my company should be considered.

Excuse me, didn’t you call me? 

It took every ounce of strength to remain professional.  Sarcastic, snarky me was just begging to let him have it.  My colleagues, who could hear my side of the conversation, congratulated me for a great job maintaining a professional demeanor.

Despite my negativity towards sales, there’s one time when I do have to bring my A-game, and that’s during an interview.  Even my resume has to be a selling tool to get my foot in the door.  Once I secure an interview, I have to tell them why I am a better choice than all the other equally-qualified candidates out there.

It’s difficult for many of us to sell ourselves and our accomplishments, yet that’s exactly what we have to do when we interview for a job.  In this cut-throat employment environment, we have to stand tall, speak confidently and show them we are worth their investment to hire us.

Just don’t offer them a fruitcake.  Trust me on this one.

It’s OK to Take a Break

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Not sure where the time goes.  Suddenly I realized it was time for my twice yearly girls’ weekend, when we all go to a B&B for a few days of crafting, eating, talking, eating, watching chick flicks and – you guessed it –  more eating. These weekends are a great chance to reconnect with good friends who I rarely get to see due to our schedules and distance.

Yet this time, instead of looking forward to the weekend, I found myself frustrated and regretting my decision to attend.  It had nothing to do with seeing my friends.  It was all about my to-do list that was at least a mile long and growing.  In addition, I had no idea what creative project I was going to work on.

Usually I’m eager to pull out my scrapbooking stuff and work on a vacation album.  Not this time.  Disorganized, I hadn’t touched my stuff since the last girls’ weekend six months earlier.  I’d been so busy with work, speaking engagements, volunteering and family, it felt like the energy and creativity had literally been sucked out of me.

I contemplated not going.  I considered bringing my laptop instead of my scrapbooks so I could work on my writing.  I wondered if I could simply hide in one of the bedrooms and catch up on much-needed sleep.  Mostly I just wanted to stay home, convinced that this was the worst possible time for me to leave.

How would I get my writing done?  What would I put in a scrapbook?  Would I even have anything fun to talk about with my friends? 

“But you always love to go,” said Hubby.  “Think of the fun you’ll have once you are there.”  Easy for you to say, I thought to myself as I reluctantly packed my things.  My only thought was that I was wasting valuable time I could spend at my computer.

To be completely honest, recently I had begun to feel like my work and writing was suffering.  Maybe it was just too much to do; maybe I had “lost my touch”.  It even crossed my mind that maybe I had become lazy.  Whatever was happening to me, it seemed like a really bad time for me to attend a girls’ weekend of fun.

Or was it?

I had plenty of time to think about this in the car.  Maybe Hubby was right, I thought.  I remembered that I took a break from the job search when I was laid-off, and it turned out to be the right move. Perhaps this situation was similar; maybe I needed a break from everything for a couple days to spend quality creative time with my friends.  I slowly started to relax.

Upon arrival I was greeted by smiles and laughter as my friends all gathered around.  Shoes were replaced by comfortable slippers as we all talked at once, trying to catch up.  Paper, paste, photographs, stickers and all sorts of creativity began as we plugged in the first of many chick flicks.  Food and drinks were abundant, truly the sign of a great gathering.

It took me a bit to shake the creative cobwebs from my head but I managed to get my photos organized and a new scrapbook started.  I enjoyed visiting with my friends and realized how much I value their friendship.

My scrapbook didn’t get finished, although that’s not important.  What matters is that I took a break – mentally and physically – from my normal routine.  Something I should do more often.  The computer, work and everything else can wait.

Remember this story if you find yourself on-edge during a job search.  Sometimes a break – even a short one – can put us back on track.

Promises, Promises – Some Jobs are Too Good to be True

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I have an announcement to make, and I’m so excited.  I’m going to quit writing. Yep, quitting my favorite pastime so that I can pursue an opportunity to make $60,000 per year working part-time.  Can you believe it?  That’s great money! And since I’ll only be working part-time I’ll have extra time to spend reading and sitting by the pool, in addition to working on my abs of steel at the gym.  It’s almost too good to be true.

What is the opportunity, you ask?  Well, I’m not exactly sure, but it’s got to be great.  See, I found this flyer taped to my front door recruiting me for this opportunity.  Very personalized, huh?  They want little ol’ me!

Don’t believe me?  Here’s the opportunity, typed exactly as it is on the flyer, minus the recruiter’s name and phone number.  Sorry, I’m not sharing that information for fear too many will apply.

LEARN HOW TO MAKE AN EXTRA $60,000 A YEAR

This system is proven to work, even during a recession

If you’re concerned about the economy, you need to look at this

Will work even if you are on unemployment

This is NOT a get rich quick scheme

It is a business plan and concept you work at part time

If becoming financially independent is important to you and your family, call to see if you qualify

Call now for an appointment.  

Unbelievable, huh?

All kidding and sarcasm aside, it really is unbelievable.  There’s so much wrong here that I’m not even sure where to begin.

  • If this is a “proven” system that works, why isn’t everyone doing it? I’m sure congress would love to know about it so they can get people working again.
  • Make “$60K working part-time”?  What kind of legal part-time job can provide that kind of income?
  • “Call to see if you qualify”. LOL!  I’m betting that all of us qualify. I’m also betting that it costs money for us to learn the “secrets” to this “business plan that’s NOT a get rich quick scheme”. 

This makes my head hurt.  It gives false hope to people who are desperate to find a job, and it may even cost them money to get started. If not money, it’s got to cost time.  Nothing is free, after all.

When you’re in the hunt for a new job, the recruitment process is daunting.  Applications must be submitted online even if you have a network connection at the company.  There’s usually a phone interview (or two or three) followed by a couple in-person meetings.  After what seems to be an eternity, you might be lucky enough to actually get an offer. It’s enough to make anyone throw up their hands in frustration and search for a quick, easy, fix like the one above instead of a job lead that actually nets a good opportunity.

To land a great job you simply have to do the work, including networking, applying and interviewing.  Over and over again.  There’s no “quick fix” when it comes to finding your next opportunity.

As for the job advertised on the flyer, I’m sure that somewhere in the world there is a person who actually has benefitted from such a proposal.  My uncle would have done well at this; a natural salesman, he could sell ice to an Eskimo.

As far as I’m concerned, a better plan is to persevere with the job search the old-fashioned way through networking, filling out applications and going on interviews.

I’m also keeping my writing gig; it’s too much fun.  Especially when I see things like this to write about.

Ready, Set, Action! Searching for a New Job

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What’s the most important part about searching for a new job? 

A.      A fabulous resume

B.      Confidence in your abilities

C.      Making a connection with the interviewer

D.      Wearing the right clothes

I’m sure you’re thinking that if the clothes make the woman, then the answer must be D.  While nothing makes me happier than rockin’ a new outfit, it’s not the right answer here.  This is a trick question; none of the answers are correct.

The most important part of a job search is actually applying for a job!  It’s taking action to get a reaction.   Sounds simple, right?  If so, when was the last time you took positive action and sent out a resume?  While you still had a job?  Hmmm?

We all reach a point in our careers where we are curious to see what else is out there.  It could be that we’re tired of our current situation, bored with our work, ready for some new water-cooler chat or simply curious to see if the grass really is greener on the other side.  Oh, we all talk a good game, venting our frustrations with overused phrases like, “That’s it; I’m getting out of here”, and “I can’t take this anymore”, and my personal favorite, “I wish they would just give me a package to leave”.  

Yeah, right. Those of us who have been to the Land of Layoff know that those packages are never as good as we expect them to be. 

When push comes to shove, most of us rarely take action.  We sit back and wait.

I imagine actors preparing for a scene would have similar issues taking action, if it wasn’t for the annoying guy with the clapperboard shouting, “Action!” Maybe we would be more motivated to search for a job if we had an annoying guy with a board shouting at us.  

I’ve always been a fan of periodically applying for jobs as they present themselves – even if I’m perfectly happy with my current situation.  Some think that’s crazy, yet for me it is about self-empowerment.  Just applying for opportunities can give me an energy boost that’s better than any caffeinated beverage.  The upside of taking action is that I feel like I’m in the driver’s seat, in control of my career. 

The added bonus is that occasionally applying for a new job gives me the discipline to keep my resume updated.  If I’m fortunate enough to land even a phone interview, it may confirm my satisfaction with my current job – or show me that there are new companies I might enjoy working at.  Not to mention that it helps me understand my value in the work place.

Note that I’m not so much advocating that we all leave our jobs as I am persuading us to keep our resumes – as well as our interview skills – up to date.   This way we’ll be prepared when we do see a great opportunity, or if the unfortunate pink slip lands on our desk.

It’s easy to buy the new outfit, update the resume and talk a good game.  The hard part is taking action.

How Shopping and Fashion Helps Me With My Job Search

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It’s no secret that I love fashion.  Hip, fashionable clothing and accessories make me feel like I’m on top of the world.  I feel better about myself when I’m confident in my looks, and staying in fashion always helps me in this regard.  Yep, nothing like a new pair of shoes, a new outfit or some new bling to make this girl feel great. 

I’ve learned a lot about fashion over the years, especially what works for me and what doesn’t.  Things like proper fit, accessorizing in proportion to my size and what constitutes a great handbag.  Success, when it comes to fashion, means understanding that while something may be “in” and look great on others, if it doesn’t look good or work for me, then it’s not going to do one thing for me confidence-wise.  Not to mention the stares I would receive walking down the street.  Nicki Minaj is willing to go where no person should go when it comes to fashion, but for most of us that kind of styling is just wrong on so many levels.   

It’s amazing how this can be applied to my job search/career.  

  • Shoes – For me, shoes can be summed up in one word: fit.  Despite what many will tell you, most shoes will not magically “stretch” to fit better.  If they are not comfortable in the store, they will not get better at home.  My feet have experienced enough blisters trying this.  With narrow feet I have difficulty finding stylish (read “hip”) shoes that will stay on my feet.  Oh, I can find narrow shoes – as long as I don’t mind plain, utilitarian, granny shoes.  Ick!   When I do find shoes that are both stylish and stay on my feet, I will pay almost any price for them – and purchase them in multiple colors.

 

  • Handbags – Architects tend to argue “form over function”.  So do fashion designers. Yet those of us who must schlep our necessities, including 3 shades of lipstick need more than good form. When it comes to handbags there should be a balance; the bag must look good but also be functional, with enough pockets and zippers as well as a comfortable handle/strap.

 

  • Clothing – So much to say here.  Let’s start with overall fit – with everything from petite to plus sizes; juniors, slim fit, low rise, etc. – there is almost enough variety to make things work right off the rack.  I’m not a fan of alterations, which in some cases means almost remaking the item entirely.  If it doesn’t fit properly to begin with, why try to force it?                                                                                                         Same thing with the styles.  Runway fashion is not for the masses.  Not to mention that those six foot tall, 90 lb models could wear a trash bag and make it look great.  For the rest of us, we have to work with our body type.  Age-appropriate clothing is another thing.  While I don’t 100% agree that I need to dress a certain way because I’m slightly older than fresh out of college, there are some styles that are just plain wrong for anyone over the age of 35.  Yes, I can still shop at Forever 21. I just make sure to put my age-filter glasses on to avoid choosing the wrong pieces.  I certainly don’t want to show up wearing the exact same outfit as my college-aged nieces.

So what does any of this have to do with my career?  

  • The company and job have to be right for me.  Just like shoes, fit is everything. If anything – company culture, job responsibilities, commute – is not a fit, then it’s not the right opportunity.  As with my quest for stylish shoes in my size, it may take time to find the right job, but when I do, it’s worth the effort.

 

  • Like a great handbag, there has to be the right mix of “form and function”: the right blend of opportunity, responsibilities and benefits that work for me as well as the company.

 

  • Unlike clothing, companies cannot be altered to fit my needs.  None of us should expect the company or boss to suddenly change because we’ve been hired.  If the culture is not something I feel comfortable in, that’s not a good sign – almost as much as the type of work I’ll be doing.  Just like fashion, I can try to be “one of them” by wearing the same styles, yet it probably won’t work in the long run.

Who knew that all that time spent at the mall was actually good for my career?  Remember: good fit applies to work as well as a great outfit.

I Love Rock ‘n Roll

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We all have an inner “someone”, a persona that others rarely see but that’s just beneath the surface waiting to get out.  Mine is a rock star.  From the outside I may look all business, but on the inside I’m all rock ‘n roll. I love music and going to concerts. Especially classic rock and ‘80’s hair bands like Bon Jovi.

When Hubby and I began dating I asked him to join me at a concert; my treat. Isn’t that what liberated women do anymore, ask their guy out?  It was a stadium concert, none other than the Rolling Stones, and to me it was the opportunity of a lifetime. These guys have been rocking and partying hard for decades and you never know when they might decide to call it quits.  After all, I imagine you can only have so many women throw themselves at you before it gets old.

 My expectation for the show was to dress in my finest all-black rock star attire and cut loose, expecting Hubby to do the same.  Bad assumption on my part.   Here I am, looking every bit the rock goddess. Here comes Hubby, wearing a golf shirt, khakis and white leather gym shoes that were so bright new you needed sunglasses to avoid the glare.  I didn’t say a word.  At the stadium, Hubby went to purchase beverages while I ran into the ladies room.  Stepping out of the restroom, I cringed as I saw Hubby’s new look: he had two sets of binoculars strapped across his chest, one on the left and one on the right, holding drinks and hot dogs, looking more like a tourist at Disney than a concertgoer.  Words jumped out before I could stop them as I hissed, “Take off those binoculars and be COOL!  This is the Rolling Stones!” Ouch. I still wince at the words.

Apparently I underestimated Hubby’s inner persona.  On our next date (yes, he did ask me out again despite my outburst) I opened the door to find Hubby leaning against the wall wearing a skin-tight t-shirt, jeans, a leather jacket and sunglasses, with an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth.  “Am I cool enough for you now?” he asked.  Point: Hubby. And I knew I had met my match.

Most of the time I try to repress my inner rock star, but sometimes she just has to come out – like at concerts.  This is fine, since my inner rock star is only a small part of who I am.  My day-to-day personality is much more important and needs to be front and center.  My inner rock star is fine with this arrangement.

Suppressing my inner rock star is easy.  Suppressing my personality – who I am – is not.  Especially at work.  I’m confident, creative, intelligent, passionate, logical, funny, straightforward and assertive. I’m a thinker who’s not afraid to make decisions, although I enjoy working as a team for the good of the group and the project.  I value those who work for me and will support them as they learn and grow.  Ninety-nine percent of the time, my personality is an asset in the workplace.

Every once in a while, I find that others want me to suppress my personality and be something I’m not.  They want me to be a shrinking Violet, or a passive Patty, or simply accept decisions that are detrimental to the team or company without at least pointing out alternate solutions.  I’ve been criticized for wanting to – in a nice way, of course – ask a question of a colleague.  I’m not exactly sure why asking a question that may help me better understand a situation to develop a solution could be detrimental, but some think it is.

I’ve suppressed my personality before and can do it easily for short periods.  But over the long-haul this is not a good situation. I become frustrated, which doesn’t help anyone, especially me.  It’s important that I work in an environment that allows me to be “me”.  My inner rock star may retreat during business hours as long as my personality is allowed to shine. It’s essential to who I am.

As I look at new opportunities, I’m going to allow my personality to take center stage.   If the company doesn’t like the “real” me, then maybe it’s not the right gig.  And if she’s lucky, I may let my inner rock star make a brief appearance during the interview too.  As long as she promises not to outshine me. Rock on!

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Do I Hear Flushing?

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It’s easier to get a job if you have job.  At least that’s what I’ve always been told. 
To be honest, it has never really seemed that easy to get a job if I’m currently employed.  Mainly because I’m too busy working to put much time and energy into looking for another gig.  Not to mention the difficulty trying to have confidential job interview calls with recruiters or potential employers, especially while working in cubicle-land.  
With conference rooms booked and stairwells that echo, that leaves the bathroom or possibly the car.  Flushing is not a sound anyone wants to hear over the phone, much less a potential employer. And sitting in a stuffy car is hardly conducive to intelligent phone conversation. Yep, interviewing for a new job while I’m working has always added even more stress to my life.
The simple solution would be to prepare financially, then to leave the current job in order to focus my energy on finding a new one. 
On paper, this looks great. Yet somehow I’ve never been able to do that. I’ve come to realize that I have a hard time letting go of things.  No, I’m not a hoarder; I can purge my closet of clothes and I don’t purchase toilet paper by the truckload.  It’s just that I have an innate sense of wanting to finish whatever I start.  And the word “quit” is not in my vocabulary.  Nope; mom and dad did not raise a quitter. 
Most of the time, this is actually a good trait.  I had a boss once who told me I was like a bulldog.  It was a compliment, although it took some explanation. He said he knew that he could give me any project and, just like a bulldog holding onto his favorite squeaky toy for dear life, I would never let the project defeat me.  He could count on me to be successful.
Unfortunately, my bulldog instinct can sometimes get in the way.  Like when I realize that a job is no longer right for me.  It’s quite a predicament.
Sometimes it’s not easy for me to recognize that I’ve outgrown my job.  The feelings of uneasiness may be confused with the occasional frustration we all experience from time to time at our jobs.  It takes time to truly identify the signs. 
For me, it’s the lingering day-in, day-out frustration that is so frequent it feels like a huge boulder is on my chest and I’m about to buckle from the sheer weight.  It’s not about being incapable of doing my job; it’s about no longer getting satisfaction from it. It’s the time when the bad feelings begin to outweigh the good. A no-win situation.
I remember being in this position some years ago.  It felt like I was trapped, unable to escape.  Hubby will tell you I’m a commitment-phobe on many levels, which is partially true. I have a hard time committing to a pair of new shoes, much less a new job. And don’t get me started on my commitment fears when it came time to get married; Hubby still wonders if I’m in this for the long-haul.
In the case of this particular job, I felt trapped, like a wild animal who just wanted to run as fast as I could away from whatever was trying to hold me down.  But the bulldog in me would not let go, especially without another job to go to.
Which leads to my question: Is it ever OK to walk away from a job without another one waiting in the wings? 
Seems like it should be, yet for me this is almost impossible and unthinkable.  I get worried about things that are rational and even some things that are not: Will we have enough money? How will I explain this during an interview? What if the new job is a mistake? Will I ever work again? 
But my biggest concern is my reputation – even though logic tells me that 99% of my friends will not care. I simply don’t want to be known as a quitter.   
All this to say that my bulldog tendencies + my aversion to commitment + illogical thinking under stress = more stress when looking for a new job.  It sure makes for tough interviewing.
As I continue to be open to new opportunities, I’m hoping the commitment-phobe in me stays locked away.  I don’t want to miss anything good simply because I’m afraid to make a mistake. 
In the meantime, if you hear a muffled conversation in the bathroom, it’s just me trying to interview. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t flush.
 

Victory Lane

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Memorial Day is one of my favorite holiday weekends.  First, it’s three days.  Who doesn’t love that? And of course the symbolic remembrance of our armed forces makes it special.  The official start of summer is a plus too, although I’m not looking forward to the possibility of another record-breaking heat wave. 

My favorite part of this particular weekend is the Indy 500. I became fascinated with racing after attending my first Indy 500 years ago.  It is a spectacle like no other event I’ve been to – including the Kentucky Derby, the Tournament of Roses and the NCAA national championship football game.  With attendance of around 400,000 the track becomes its own city.  The tradition, pomp and circumstance are worthy of royalty.  The military tributes bring tears.  So does the singing of certain songs by Jim Nabors and Florence Henderson, although I’m usually not crying because they’re good.

Hubby and I watched from home this year.  Still fun, but not the same as being there in person. For years the Indy 500 was part of my job, and we spent Memorial Day weekends at the race.  This year as I watched the race, the memories came flooding back: strategy and planning would start the year before the race, followed by campaign development, tactics, on-site and finally execution.  I had great co-workers and we all had so much fun that I would pinch myself to make sure that this was really my job and not a dream.  We used to laugh so much it was hard to get work done. And the stories I could tell!  Names would definitely have to be changed.  Yep, what happens at Indy stays at Indy.

The biggest lesson I learned from the Indy 500 is to never give up.  These dedicated athletes – the drivers, the crews and team owners – fight every week to make it to the winners circle.  With big bucks on the line, jobs can be lost when things don’t go the right way.  The drivers are strapped into their cars for several hours or more, depending on the number of incidents.  They are always thinking about how to improve their position on the course, and are in constant communication with their crew as to how the car is handling.  Even when they are in the final laps, the drivers and teams never quit trying to win.  After all, anything can happen in a race. Leads change in hundredths of a second. 

I was watching two specific drivers this year, both of whom were fighting for the win. Having worked with both of them in the past made it even more special to watch.  One is a long-time veteran and knows that he has to win at Indy soon if he’s going to at all.  The other is equally deserving, fighting for his family name.  No pressure there, huh? 

As with many races, it came down to the wire.  Both of my favorite drivers pushing and working and strategizing until the last second.  Unfortunately neither won.  But after the race, they were already talking about next time.  And both showed great poise in defeat.

I need to remember this when looking for new opportunities.  Never say never; never give up.  Don’t quit trying even when it seems impossible, even when the job is a long-shot at best.  You never know. At some point, the job will be right for me and I’ll walk into victory lane.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved