Dream On

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Still thinking about my niece’s college graduation.  I’m bursting with pride that she achieved her goal. She busted her butt, taking heavy course loads and extremely difficult classes.  Classes that I would have run from before ever purchasing the book.  And she was beaming as she received her diploma.  At least I think she was beaming; it was hard to tell given that we were seated on the far end of the arena. Either she was happy, or she was embarrassed that her cheering section jumped up and screamed so loudly that it echoed. I think we may have scared those sitting calmly around us. My apologies.

I remember feeling like my niece. One of my best memories is graduating from college and feeling like I had just finished the hardest, longest, most kick-butt marathon ever. Receiving my masters’ degree was even more thrilling – a newly minted degree and my dream job waiting for me once I stepped outside.  Seemed like the world was full of opportunities.

I’m a bit concerned about the new robes I saw at the graduation, especially in today’s economy.  I’m wondering how many of them have a job waiting for them.  As a board member for a collegiate graduate program, I know that many choose to continue their education simply due to the scarcity of jobs these days.  It’s hard to bask in the recognition that comes with a robe when all you really want is to put the knowledge to use and start your career.  Continuing to grad school also creates an issue for those who must have a graduate degree to pursue their dreams, such as my niece. Now she’s in competition once again simply to get in to a graduate program.

This also raises concerns for those of us already in the work force, especially for anyone in lay-off land. Now we’ve got to compete for jobs with this new batch of robes.  They’re smart¸ ambitious and full of energy. They have yet to be jaded from years of working long hours for dwindling benefits without much recognition.  Oh, I know; it’s just a matter of time before they experience the feeling of burnout.  But still, it’s competition right now for the thousands of unemployed.  I could argue that experience can outweigh academic “smarts”, except that in the real world youth plus new degree equals high level job, even if it’s low paying.

I’ve spoken with both sides of the equation about this situation.  Friends and former colleagues who are considered veterans in their fields are having trouble finding work.  For those of us who have pieced together work after being laid-off, many are underemployed (translation: low title and low pay) or are in a job that doesn’t suit us yet we can’t afford to leave.  Desperate to find something better, the competition is fierce with these new robes vying for the same jobs.

The students are concerned too.  Many are forced to work multiple unpaid internships before finding a company that will hire them – and actually pay them.  Wow. I’m not talking about students who skated by with barely passing grades either.  Even my niece, who was a T.A. as well as a leader in numerous college organizations, participated in an academic mission trip, has hands-on work experience and whose grades are what I would consider stellar, is concerned simply about getting into a graduate program to continue toward her dream career.

One thing I do know is that we all – new robes and career veterans – have the opportunity to make our career dreams come true despite the economy and anything else that might get in our way.  That may mean accepting a job with a lower title and salary than we’re used to, or for new grads it may mean bunking with the parents while working an unpaid internship. It’s all about getting experience, no matter how insignificant or tough it may seem at the time. 

As my favorite new philosopher Steven Tyler of Aerosmith fame said recently, “You have to have a dream in order to realize the dream”.  Well said, Steven.  Rock on, graduates.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Planning to Leave

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Hubby laughed at me last night.  This isn’t entirely unusual as some of the things I do and say are funny.  And Hubby has a quick wit; it doesn’t take much for him to break into laughter.

Although this time I was being serious.  Aside from my “real” work, I’m also the official travel agent for our family and I was diligently planning our summer vacation.  I’m usually the one that starts the initial conversation about vacation months in advance, as well as the one to push, prod, drag and otherwise coerce Hubby into getting with the program.  Don’t get me wrong; Hubby enjoys taking a vacation as much as I do. It’s just that he seems unable to focus on the planning of a vacation. 

In the back of his mind, Hubby knows that he wants to take a summer vacation. He even has a good idea of the dates he’d like to go on said vacation.  It’s just that since the trip is not imminent, meaning tomorrow, he doesn’t focus on it.  I’m pretty sure if I didn’t drive the vacation bus, Hubby would wait till the last minute and try to throw something together. (Must be a guy-thing) This would be OK if our standards were the same as they were when we were young without much money. We’d simply pack a tent to go camping or drive a couple hours to another city for a few nights in an economy-class motel.   Hubby disputes this last statement, as my camping days were pre-Hubby and he hasn’t actually seen me camp. But I have camped; I have pictures to prove it.

Hubby has learned that when it comes to vacations, economy class is not how I roll.  I’ve paid my dues; we make money now and I enjoy vacationing in style, a la “lifestyles of the rich and famous”.  That means staying at a four or five star resort, being treated like royalty and basking in the luxury.  I mean, why not?  If I can’t live that way year ‘round, then at least I can live that way for a week on vacation.  Good news is that Hubby has also become accustomed to this way of vacationing.

I had secured a week at our favorite resort and needed to tackle the airplane reservations.  Hubby had heard my pleas earlier in the day about finalizing the trip and he even suggested we sit down together to finish the job.  Sweet!  I don’t mind making the reservations but I’d really like his input.

We had a couple decisions to make. Do we take an early morning flight out to maximize our first day, since we’re going west? That’s a no-brainer; of course we do. We can be lounging at the pool by noon.  But what about our return flight?  We want to maximize our time away yet it’s always tough to arrive late at night and assimilate back into the “real world”.

All of a sudden I panicked as I envisioned our trip.  The glorious feeling of arriving, with a week laid out in front of us and nothing to do but relax.  As my mind wandered I envisioned the first few days of bliss, then my thoughts raced to the last couple of days, and the depressing feeling of leaving paradise to return to the grind took hold. A tear accidentally ran down my cheek.  Hubby looked at me, quite puzzled. “What’s wrong?” he asked.  “I’m already sad about leaving our vacation to return home”, I replied.  That’s when he started laughing.

“So you’re planning on leaving a vacation we haven’t started yet?” he said.  More laughter. Lots of teasing. “Only you would think like that”.  While I admit that I am unique in good ways, I certainly don’t want to be called out like this. 

Actually, planning to leave helps me.  If I can envision what it might be like, then it doesn’t seem to hurt as much when it actually happens.  I deal with lots of things that way.  I’m always planning and thinking about different scenarios – in work situations as well as life.

Planning to leave a work situation is something that everyone should do, in my opinion.  Whether I leave a job on my own, or even during the lay-off when the decision was out of my hands, I always consider what it will be like and think about next steps.  Being a bit on edge keeps me focused on the fact that my current job is probably not my last job, and I keep myself open to opportunities as well as constantly net-working.  No matter how I leave a job, I’ve given it some thought and am at least somewhat prepared.

Hubby can laugh all he wants.  He’ll be the one crying as we leave the resort.  Since I’ve already thought about it, I’m prepared to handle the situation.  I’ll bring a box of tissues for him.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Truth in Interviewing

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I’m not good at lying.  OK, I can do the innocuous “of course that dress looks great on you!” But when it comes to serious lying, that’s definitely not my forte. I wear my heart on my sleeve – and sometimes my emotions live there too.  Like an open book, you can pretty much tell what I’m feeling at any given time.
Most of the time, this is a good thing.  People know that they can trust my word.  Sometimes it’s not what they want to hear. But they know I’m telling the truth. 
This “skill” of mine is not always effective.  For example, I would be a terrible contestant on “Survivor” – and my inability to effectively lie is only one issue.  First, I would be voted off right away simply because I would want to spend the first few days building an adequate shelter instead of hanging out on the beach like it was a vacation.  If there was a lack of organization, I would step in and try to lead the tribe, another no-no if you want to stay in the game. Not to mention the whole issue of living outside. Yuck.  But the ability to weave and maintain an intricate web of lies with a straight face would lead to my demise. I must not be smart enough to keep all the stories straight.
When you think about it, isn’t interviewing for a job similar to lying?  I can hear you disagreeing with me.  “Of course not!”, “I would never lie to get a job”, “It’s more like acting, but that’s not lying, per se”.  Okay, call it what you want, but face it – there are times during an interview when we absolutely have to stretch the truth.  We have to lie.
This is especially true when you’re in lay-off land, searching for your next opportunity.  At least it seems that way since we don’t want to turn any chance down. Each interview could be a ticket to employment.  So how is someone like me, little miss “hard to keep a straight face”, supposed to get through the interview process?  I can be knocked on my side with the very first question, “Tell me why you want to work here?” Even just writing that question causes me to go all “deer-in-the-headlights”.
While I don’t have a magic potion to make interviewing easy, I do have a little trick I learned while working in PR.  In preparing for possible media calls and interviews, we prepared a “Q&A Document” – sort of a script.  It’s actually quite brilliant.  The goal was to write down all the possible questions that a reporter might ask the company. Even off-the-wall questions were OK.  Then we had to prepare written answers to each question.  At the top of the document we listed our talking points, those two or three key messages we wanted to tell about our company in relation to the story.
I’ve adapted this same technique to prepare for job interviews.  It’s a great way to collect my thoughts before the interview and develop solid, truthful answers.  Once I developed the first set of Q&A, I’ve only had to tweak it for different interviews.  I especially like the reminder of my key messages, listed at the top.
The best reason to use this tactic is that it helps me determine exactly how far I’m willing to stretch the truth and it allows me to become comfortable with my answers.  If I’m not comfortable with these answers at home, I’m certainly not going to do well during an interview. 
For example, am I always willing to relocate for a job?  Probably not.  Yet my answer needs to leave room for the possibility without making promises that I can’t keep, i.e. “I would consider relocating”. After all, I don’t want to be eliminated before the interview starts.  Once the discussions begin I may determine that the opportunity is indeed worth a move.  
It’s a fine line to walk between full-disclosure and flat-out lying, yet one that we have to walk as we pursue new opportunities.  We just have to be comfortable with our answers. 
Just for fun, I thought I’d share what I would love to say during some interviews, but the fact that I want to be hired prohibits using these answers.
Fun Interview Answers
Q. Why do you want to work here?
A. Honestly, I have no idea except that my friend told me you were hiring and I heard you have a good vacation plan.  By the way, how soon can I take my first vacation?  Did I mention that I plan to work here a few months, then take off to “find myself” as I back-pack through Europe?
Q. Tell me about yourself.
A. Aside from being well-educated, I’m cute and have an amazing sense of humor.  I’m sort of doing this career-thing until I decide what I really want to do with my life. Oh, and I enjoy critiquing people’s fashion choices.  By the way, that’s a nice tie – is it a clip-on?
Q. Where do you see yourself in five years?
A. I was kind of hoping we wouldn’t have to discuss this right away since it’s a bit awkward, but I want your job.  Preferably sooner than five years; maybe within twelve months. Actually, what are your plans?  Any idea when you might move on to your next job?
Q. Our corporate offices are out of state. Are you willing to relocate?
A. Oohh – didn’t see that coming.  Depends; what state are we talking about?  I’m willing to move to a ski-resort town, or possibly Hawaii.  But that also depends on how much additional money you’ll pay me.
Q. Let’s talk salary – can you tell me where you were compensation-wise at your last job?
A. I can tell you, but I’m not going to.  Duh!  Haven’t you heard the phrase, “he who talks money first loses”?  Besides, from the looks of this old furniture in your office, I’m pretty sure you can’t afford me.
Q. Thanks for coming in; we’ll get back to you in about a week. Do you have any questions for me?
A. What kind of gym membership do you offer?  How’s the food in the cafeteria? I smelled something coming in and it was less than pleasant.  And thanks for humoring me by saying you’ll call me back. Even though I know better.

Been There, Done That

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My career so far has been great.  Well, not always. There was that unfortunate time right after graduation when I’d just spent 4 ½ years getting my degree, only to discover I had chosen the wrong career.  Seriously, a degree in engineering technology?  Spending my days determining which size rebar and steel columns to use in structures? What was I thinking?  Desperate for work I enjoyed, I enrolled in a graduate program that would allow me to get on the right career path. 

It was smooth sailing after that.  Well, sort of.  Graduating with an MBA, I did land my dream job with a world-class brand.  Yet I still had questions about my career, new opportunities and other things.

While I’ve enjoyed my work and successfully moved up the ranks at different companies, there have been – and still are – times when I need a shoulder.  The opportunity to speak with someone who’s “been there, done that”.  Someone who’s not related to me that will provide a tough-love dose of career reality every once in a while.  

After my rough career start, I decided that if I could ever help someone else navigate their career path and answer the questions that others can’t, I would do it.  It would be my way of giving back, paying it forward, or whatever you want to call it.  There’s no sense for others to go through the same thing I did – launching a career without a guide.

I’m not sure how or when I became a mentor but it’s something I’m passionate about; something I make time for at the expense of other things. It’s so important to me to provide the one thing I wish I had when I was starting out – an experienced individual to answer my questions and provide an objective opinion as well as helpful suggestions.  To provide insight that can only be obtained from having “been there, done that”.

And I’m not sure how I get connected with people who need to speak with someone with more career experience.  As an “official” mentor at my alma mater, I get assigned to students.  But most of the mentoring relationships happen randomly.  Sometimes it’s a friend of a friend; other times it’s the daughter/niece/nephew of someone I’ve met.  All pretty random.

On a recent visit to my alma mater I met some students in a most unusual place.  I had some time to kill before giving my presentation, so I found a bench in a quiet area of the business school and sat down. It just happened to be conveniently located near the restroom. 

While sitting there enjoying the feeling of college life, suddenly all the classrooms opened at once and the area was full of graduate students, apparently on a break from a long class.  I was observing them and of course they noticed me, all dressed up and clearly not a student. At some point a group of them caught my eye.  We engaged in a brief conversation about what they were studying, what they wanted to do when they graduated and where I worked.  I offered to connect with them on LinkedIn and passed out my business card, telling them to reference that we met near the restroom at the business school – that would trigger anyone’s memory, for sure. 

And guess what?  I’ve heard from all of the students.  We’ve scheduled phone meetings and conversed via email.  They ask all kinds of questions; some I expect and some that are new.  The biggest thing is that they are taking advantage of a chance meeting to speak with someone who’s “been there, done that”. 

We never know when or where we may meet someone who could help us with our career.  In fact, I wonder how many missed opportunities I passed by? Was there someone sitting near the restroom when I was in school? 

Same thing holds true for me now, even though I’ve got experience under my belt.  I always try to be aware of opportunities to meet someone new.  It could be at a networking event, or through colleagues and friends, or even at the gym. Maybe I could help them or they could help me, or maybe it’s just a one-time quick conversation.  You never know.

Rebar and steel columns?  Still makes me shudder. If only I’d been able to talk to someone who had “been there, done that”.   

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Office Mom

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Oh no! I think it’s happened.  I may officially be considered “old”.  I am so not ready for this.
How could this be?  Sure, I “enhance” my natural hair color. Who doesn’t? And yeah, I have a couple of lines around the eyes but that has to be a result of the lay-off and the added stress. Can’t possibly have anything to do with age!
As a kid I remember looking at my parents and teachers, and of course considered them old and out of touch.  My parents were actually a bit more mature than most first-time parents when they had us, so I wasn’t too far off there.  But my teachers seemed ancient!  Looking back, I’m pretty sure most were in their 20’s, possibly early thirties.  Now that I’m an adult I realize how young my teachers were at the time.  At the time they seemed so worldly and full of experience – something that only comes with age.
In my mind, I’m not old at all.  I can keep up with the twenty-something crowd just fine. In fact, I was in an exercise boot camp with a bunch of twenty-something women not too long ago and they couldn’t keep up with me.  They may have been young and thin with good skin, but they were deceptively unfit. All good, until I realized that technically I could be mother to any of them. If I’d started having kids early, I remind myself.  Still, this is a heady thing to consider.    
A couple recent happenings brought the reality of my age top of mind.  The first time was a few weeks ago at my alma mater, when I was trying to find the entrance to the new basketball arena.  Feeling every bit like a college student, I strolled up to a group of coeds and asked for directions.  They seemed nice enough, until one of them called me “ma’am”.  I actually turned around to see who she was talking to, only to discover she meant me. I tried to brush it off, thinking that she had been raised properly and that anyone older than she was to be treated with respect. Fair enough, I thought.
Then it happened again, striking a blow of epic proportions to my ego. One of my colleagues, who happens to be part of the twenty-something crowd, started affectionately referring to me as the “office mom”.  The first time I heard this I was almost speechless. And to tell the truth, a bit insulted. How dare anyone refer to me as “mom”!  That’s not me; I’m wearing the same styles as everyone else here, reading the same books, watching the same TV shows, attending the same concerts.  Why did you target ME as the office mom?  Are you just evil?  Do you want to make me cry?  Are my roots showing?
I remember staring at this colleague, trying not to show my true feelings when all I really wanted to do was shout, stomp my feet, shine a light in his eyes and question him till he cried. Maybe take away his car keys and ground him.  Office mom indeed!
As he continued to talk – which at the time I wanted to say “please stop; haven’t you said enough?” – I began to realize that in his mind he was paying me a compliment of the highest order.  My age brings wisdom gained through experience; something that this twenty-something just doesn’t have yet.  I’m asked all sorts of questions, everything from the best way to approach the boss, to how we should prepare a client presentation, to how to save money for travel.   I can’t tell if he’s just humoring “the older person” or not, but I’m taking it as a compliment that he would ask, listen and actually take my advice. 
Good news is that the twenty-something crowds that I encounter through work or other events seem to enjoy my company, as well as the work experience and skills I bring to the table.  And I can keep up with the conversations and trends they’re discussing. Either I’m immature or they’re mature, but it works.
I guess I’ll try to embrace my age – young enough to have fun but old enough to know when to quit.  Twenty-somethings, feel free to include me in your conversations and ask me questions.  Just don’t call me “ma’am”.
© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Over Networking

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Networking, the fine art of establishing business contacts and/or relationships, is something we’re all familiar with.  We’ve all been told that this is the best and sometimes only way to actually find a job opportunity.  The concept is simple enough, although true networking – really good networking – takes time.  Hard to fit this into a busy schedule, huh?
When I was first starting out, networking was the buzz word.  We talked about it in school. We talked about it at my first job. We talked about it at happy hour.  “Everyone’s doing it; aren’t you?”  I’d play along during these happy hour discussions, nodding in agreement that yes, I did indeed have a vast business network.
Inside, I was panic-stricken.  Honestly I had no idea how to network or exactly what I was supposed to do.  I had the crazy idea that networking was closely related to cruising the club scene to meet guys.  That networking meant walking up to a total stranger – no matter where I was – to introduce myself in an attempt to find out about job opportunities.
Thank goodness I didn’t try this tactic.  At best, I would have appeared to be socially challenged. At worst, well, let’s not go there.
One thing I had going for me is that I’m good at relationship building and staying in touch with people.   As my career progressed, I made a point to periodically call or email past colleagues just to stay in touch.  I thought it was a nice gesture, something that I would have appreciated had the shoe been on the other foot.  Little did I know that I was networking! 
I continue this tried and true tactic even now.  It seems simple to me, staying in touch with people.  It does take some time, but the pay-off is great.  Each week I shoot a couple emails off to former colleagues, just to see how they’re doing.  A no-brainer.  Besides, I really enjoy staying in touch with people.
It’s occurred to me that not everyone is good at this.  Some know what to do, yet just don’t take the time. But there are others who aren’t quite clear on the concept of networking.  Unsure of how to meet people and use connections to look for opportunities, these individuals tend to push themselves too hard in an effort to be productive.   The unfortunate consequence is that they alienate themselves instead of building their network.  They “over-network”.
Case in point:  Met a fellow at an industry event.  I introduced myself – after all, isn’t this what you do at these things? Within seconds of our introductions, he immediately launched into his elevator speech followed by “do you know of any opportunities for me?”
Really?  I just met you! I don’t even remember your name, despite the fact that you’re wearing a name tag.  How would I even know what you’re capable of?  Much less feel like I want to represent you to my colleagues?
This person continues to contact me.  With the same format as the first time we met. And I still don’t know much about him except that his delivery is poor, he doesn’t have any more experience than the first time we met and I honestly feel uncomfortable recommending him to anyone.  
To be clear, I really like helping those who are looking for work.  Truly I do.  But I can’t recommend you if we haven’t established – over time – a relationship, one that lets me get a feel for your qualifications, not to mention your abilities.  Remember, you’re asking me to put my reputation on the line and recommend you to my colleagues.  
With social media it’s easy and tempting to “over-network”, to try and align yourself with as many contacts as possible.  Besides, we’ve all been told that the only way to find a job these days is through networking.  That must mean connect with as many people as possible, whether you know them or not, right?  How could this be a bad thing?
In my experience, networking has to happen sort of organically over time and through a variety of sources.  Great networking comes from those who know us best, not people we meet randomly.  When we are reaching out to someone new, it’s best to have a mutual friend or colleague vouch for us.
In the wrong hands, networking apparently becomes toxic. A bit sad. Sort of creepy.   But done right, it works wonders.
© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Complicated Simplicity

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Have you noticed how complicated life seems to be nowadays?  We’re connected to everyone at all times through devices made to simplify our lives.  Many of us are working several jobs trying to make ends meet, the result of a lay-off.
I used to think that things would get simpler with age and experience. Not sure where I got this crazy idea.  Guess it was my younger self imagining that I would have figured everything out in terms of career, love, family and friends, and my life would sort of hum along at a good, steady pace.
LOL!  Even reading my last sentence has me laughing between the tears of stress.
Instead of things being easier and less-stressful, it’s completely the opposite.  Mortgage, career, relationships, aging parents, trying to keep some sort of social life.  More responsibility, more pressure.  And we don’t have kids!  I shudder to think of how something as precious as a baby would complicate things.  
Now my dog is looking at me like I’ve totally dissed her. I will concede that my wonderful four-legged daughter does add some complexity to our lives.  Especially when she refuses to take a bathroom break in the rain for fear of getting her fur wet.
How did life get so complex?  For me it started in high school.  I was a “joiner”, belonging to numerous clubs and organizations. My calendar was filled to the brim with meetings, dance classes, drill team practice, social events and work.  Not sure how I managed to study, but I did, bringing home straight A’s.
This need to always be busy or attempt to over-achieve has followed me into adulthood.  Like gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe, I cannot seem to break away from busyness.   Yes, it’s good to have interests and be busy.  But sometimes too much of a good thing turns into a bad thing.
When the lay-offs hit our family, both Hubby and I took on as many consulting gigs and other work roles as we could find.  The good news is that we discovered new interests and found that there are lots of ways to make money.   Hubby found out he’s a good and passionate teacher, keeping this part time gig even after going back to work full time.  I rediscovered my creative side and have a new-found joy in writing, in addition to consulting and mentoring.
All good, right?
The problem with having too much of a good thing is that it suddenly isn’t fun anymore.  By trying to do it all, I find I’m running out of steam. Frustration is building.  Taking on every consulting gig, writing opportunities, networking, family obligations, mentoring and other stuff has my head spinning.  Social life and relaxation?  What’s that?  Social life is completely gone, whittled down to an occasional dinner with friends.  Hubby and I are so busy that relaxation seems like a luxury reserved for special occasions.  At best we live for Friday nights, when we take a couple hours to have dinner and try to catch up with each other.  
So what should a person do?  Of course the answer is to eliminate or pare down the work load.  But the answer is complicated in its simplicity. What do we give up?  The things that provide the most pleasure are not necessarily the ones that pay the bills.  Yet if we give up things that bring joy, we’re stuck in a rut of simply existing. 
And don’t get me started on the electronic devices.  Smart phones and tablets, in addition to the computer, have made it too easy for us to always be “on”.  Yet I’m addicted to these devices in a love-hate relationship that’s next to impossible to break. 
I don’t have the answers except to say that I’m working through things right now.  While I chat on the phone, type on the computer and check email on my iPad. 
Breaking up is really hard to do.
© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

There’s No Crying in Blogging

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Each week I set aside specific times to write, marking this time as a meeting on my calendar so I stay on track. Usually this works well.  There are also unscheduled occasions when an idea hits me and I run to the computer to let my thoughts flow.  Sometimes, when I’m not near my computer, I have to reach for the nearest piece of paper and jot my thoughts down while they’re fresh in my mind.  In any case, I’ve got a system for accomplishing my writing goals.
And today is writing day.  It’s a great day for it, too.  Weather’s cold and bit cloudy; a great day to stay inside.  Coffee in hand, I log on to the computer, ready for whatever brilliant, creative idea hits me.
Yep, I’m ready. Any second now the creative juices will flow.  Here we go.  OK, just a minute more.  Ready, set, write!
Tick-tock, the clock seems to be urging me to write, to do something.  Anything.
I look through all my notes, things that I jot down from time to time.  Usually there’s creative inspiration somewhere on these scraps of paper.   
I’m not sure what’s wrong. It’s like my brain has locked up, unable to think, unable to do anything. I can’t even seem to move in my chair.
Panic starts to set in as I know that I need to write.  The more I panic, the less creative I become.   
I stand up from my desk. I stretch. I walk outside for a minute. Pet the dog. Play solitaire. Look at a magazine.  Close my eyes and try to imagine the story flowing effortlessly through my fingers and onto the page.
Suddenly it occurs to me that I may not be able to write anything today.  Not possible! It’s on the schedule. It’s “writing day”.  I massage my temples, eyes closed.  Must…write…creatively.
Now I’m frantic.  What will I do if I can’t write something?  Tick-tock, tick-tock.  Now the clock seems to be mocking me, making fun of my inability to write on command. Why do we still have a clock that makes noise? Shouldn’t that be digital?
As the minutes slip by I become paralyzed in front of my desk.  I realize the sky is dark, getting close to evening.  Here I sit, alone in the dark, in front of a blank computer screen – no witty words on the page.  Fear of failure creeps in.   I can feel my lips begin to quiver as a lone tear runs down my cheek.
The door opens and Hubby comes in.  “What’s wrong?” he asks.  “Why are you sitting in the dark?”  At that point the sobbing begins as I tell him I’m done.  No more writing for me; apparently I’ve used up all the creative ideas in my mind.  Forever.  Writing, my favorite creative endeavor, must be over.  My shoulders shake as the feeling of failure envelopes me.
As gently as possible, Hubby tries to console me.  He knows to tread lightly.  One time, early in our marriage, he encountered a similar situation and in an attempt to help get me moving forward again he told me to “buck up, little soldier”.  As many of you know, these are not the words a woman wants to hear when she’s in need of consoling.  Let’s just say that was not a good night for Hubby.
Smarter and wiser this time, he hugs me and holding my face in his hands he says simply, “there’s no crying in blogging”. 
I don’t know about you, but this does not seem like the best time for a baseball analogy, does it? 
Yet I know he’s right, even if I don’t want to admit it.  Writing is fun to me. This is what drives me to get up. It challenges me and forces me to think about things in a different way.  Why should I cry over something that I enjoy so much?
Again, it’s that fear of failure creeping in.  Especially since the lay-off.  I’m even more driven to succeed than before, and the pressure I put on myself is probably a bit much. 
Will I ever lose the fear?  I hope so.  And Hubby’s right; I’ll get my creative juices flowing again.  This is simply a temporary set-back. 
I still think there can be crying in blogging.  After all, it got me to write this post. 
© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Rear-View Strategy

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I’m an expert when it comes to seeing the benefit of life’s happenings.  Bold statement, I know.  But I really am an expert at this and can definitely answer the question “why” as it relates to life events.   As long as they’ve already happened, that is.
In the midst of things, I often wonder “why” things are the way they are.  Especially during the not-so-good times.  I think, “I’m a nice person, what good could possibly come of this?”
Or more simply stated, “What the #@!*”?
Some years ago, Hubby announced that one of the many items on his bucket list was a trip to the Indianapolis 500.  Ever the supportive wife, I told him he’d better find someone else to go with him as I certainly was not going to waste time on such a dumb sport, cars perpetually driving to the left for hours.  And by no stretch of the imagination would I ever agree to spend a weekend in the middle of a race track in an RV, as I’d seen people do at the races on TV. 
The very next week I earned a promotion to manage my company’s national sponsorships and promotions.  I’m sure the look on my face said it all when my new boss gave me a folder and said, “We’re just negotiating a motorsports agreement with Indianapolis; see what you can do with it”.  Aughh!  I clearly remember the grin on Hubby’s face when he heard the news and realized that he would get to accompany me to the Indy 500 to see cars drive in a perpetual left-turn.
Determined to do my best at this new opportunity, I dug in and learned everything I could about the sport and why it could benefit our company.  Turns out it’s not so dumb after all.
Ever watch an auto race?  Athletes the size of jockeys driving multi-million dollar computers on wheels, singularly focused on that perpetual left-turn for hours and miles on end.  They’d better be focused. At speeds of over 200 mph, even they can see the emergency crews on the edge of the track. 
And talk about strategy – they’ve got a plan for everything.  When to change tires, when to pass another car, when to re-fuel.  Races are won by hundredths of a second so every decision must be well thought out.  
It wasn’t too long into my new job that I officially became a “gear-head”, knowing more about the sport and the drivers than most men.  Luckily for me I never had to stay in an RV.
Fast-forward several years. A recruiter called, looking for someone with very specific career experience:  retail, strategy, marketing, and – believe it or not – motor sports.  Someone with Indy experience.  Wow.  What an odd combination, yet it was me all the way.   I got the job – and I had a light-bulb moment as I remembered my “what the #@!*” thought when I was handed the Indy folder.
I would love to say that all of this happened because of strategic career moves on my part.  I would love to show you a planning document that I developed early in my career, outlining the skills I should acquire on my road to success.  But I can’t.  Nope, as strategic as I am in my work, even I wasn’t prepared for every twist and turn. 
Yet every experience, good and not-so-good, seems to enhance my future.  Even the lay-offs in our house hold have been beneficial. Hubby and I discovered hidden skills that have led to new opportunities. We realized that although we loved our jobs, we can shift gears, adapt and move on to something new.
Out of the motor sports chapter of my life came more than a job opportunity.  I also gained a great group of friends and colleagues that I’m still in regular contact with, including drivers and others in the race industry.  Hubby bonded with several of the other husbands that attended the races while we women worked (isn’t that how it always goes?).  Once at home, we became a dinner group called “The Trailing Spouses”, named lovingly after our Hubbies who trailed after us at such events.
 Yep, I’m an expert at rear-view strategy.  Wish I could identify it a bit sooner, although now I try to simply accept what’s happening and prepare myself for future benefits.  
In the meantime, I’ll keep driving to the left.
© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Happy Birthday to My Blog

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A year ago today, Hubby and I were sitting in the home office, trapped in the house due to an ice-storm.  Both of us were at our computers. He was working; I was surfing the net for job opportunities and playing the occasional game of solitaire.  As I tried to stay warm, it dawned on me that exactly one year earlier I had been laid off. 
I started thinking about my year and remembered that only a few months earlier I had begun to write about my journey through unemployment. The intention was that I would start a blog.  But I let my personal doubts and fears creep in, thinking “why would anyone want to read this?” and “I’ll be embarrassed to let anyone read my writing”.     
I guess the ice storm froze all my fears, and as we shivered in the home office I plugged in the flash drive loaded with my writing.  Overcome by a moment of bravery, I wrote my first blog post and alerted the world through Facebook. 
Immediately I regretted my decision, certain that friends across the country were laughing at my writing.  Fear was back. I pulled a blanket over my head so no one could see me cry.
Within seconds I had my first response.  Hubby had to read it to me; I was too nervous.  “It’s good!” he said.  “They like your post”.  
A tiny bit of courage started pushing my fear aside.  A few days later I wrote another post and broadened my audience.  More good response and lots of encouragement from friends to keep writing. Tales of the Terminated™ was born!
It’s been a year of writing and I’ve loved every minute of it.  My heart-felt thanks to everyone for your encouragement and support.  My writing has been fun as well as therapeutic.  It brought the opportunity to write a monthly column for the paper.  And most surprising of all, it has helped me find work. 
Funny to think that my personal tales from the lay-off have provided a silver lining to an otherwise dark cloud.   
Tales of the Terminated™ is far from done. I’ve got so many personal tales as a result of the lay-off.  And I’m no longer afraid to share my thoughts and observations with the rest of the world.
Happy 1st Birthday, Tales of the Terminated™.  I’m so proud of you.
© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved