The Single Most Important Aspect of Networking

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office-336368_1920One of my goals for 2016 was to get out of the home office more. More = once a week.

The goal was twofold, really.

First, working from home is isolating. It’s great but sometimes I crave the interaction of colleagues, even for a few minutes.  Social isolation is a real bummer, people!

So you could say I’ve been looking for work friends.

The second – and real – goal was strategic and part of my business plan: expand my business.  New business certainly wasn’t going to simply ring my doorbell.

Attending networking events seemed to be the perfect solution for both.

I’ve been at this almost a year now, even longer for some networking groups.

What have I learned about networking?

  • Have a Plan. Establish your goals before attending a networking group or event. Do you want to make new business contacts in the hopes of obtaining new clients? Is your intention to learn new skills by interacting with people in your industry? Are you interested in meeting with like-minded professionals while giving back to the community?  There is a networking group available that will meet your criteria, as long as you know your goals.
  • Presentation is Important. Take ownership of yourself, including dressing for success. Yes, people will judge you in the first ten seconds they meet you. It’s time to present yourself as if you are interviewing for a job, even have your elevator speech ready in order to tell others what you do and who is your ideal client.
  • There’s an Initiation Period. Not with hazing or rituals, but true membership takes time.  Like any group, friendships form and as a newcomer you are not yet part of any inner circles.  You can get there; it takes a while.  Give up too soon and you’ll always be in search mode.
  • Groups are Fluid. Don’t judge the group by only one visit. People come and go; not all members attend each meeting. If the group meets weekly, attend for three to four weeks to get an idea of who attends as well as the dynamics of the group.
  • Mingle! It’s tempting to sit with the one person you met and feel comfortable around but that’s not the point. The goal is to cast a wide net and meet as many people as possible each time you attend.
  • Know When it’s Not Working.  If, after multiple visits over several months, you are not achieving your goals, it might be time to consider another networking group.  If your goal is to gain prospects yet after six months of regular meetings all you’ve gained is five pounds from the food, this may not be the right group for you. Then again if you’re a foodie, it may be okay.  It’s all about goals and expectations, and marrying the two with the right group.

All of these are important. Yet the The Single Most Important Aspect of Networking is this:

  • Do you help others in the group? Do you bring them what they need, be it new clients, suggestions, or assistance when they ask?  This will help you above and beyond anything else in building your network and getting others to help you.

Networking is something you have to schedule; it must be part of your business plan. It’s strategic and you have to work at it.

Anything less is just socializing.

Carrying a Business Card While Wearing a Bikini

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IMG_3505There’s a strategic reason Hubby and I vacation in the desert every summer.

First the phrase “It’s a dry heat” really does mean something to us.  Compared to the hot, humid temperatures at home, the arid heat of the desert is lovely. We can step outside without sweating and misters actually do their job of cooling a person off.

The main reasons are the silence and the savings. The luxury resort we visit is almost vacant and summer rates plummet to the point where it’s too good to pass up.  With so few guests, the staff to guest ratio is about five-to-one and we are treated like royalty.  Hubby and I pretend the hotel is our “estate” and the staff our employees, allowing them to wait on us hand and foot.

Isn’t that what vacation is all about? My philosophy is, if I can’t live this way year-round, at least I can live this way for seven glorious days.

So it was bound to happen.

The resort was quiet; we had the giant pool to ourselves.  In-between romance novels and fruity drinks I floated in my “private” pool on a giant inflatable pink donut I had purchased specifically for this occasion.

Suddenly there was splashing and commotion and loud talking and a flurry of staff activity. I raised my head, peering through my Ray-Bans.

Millennials! At least a dozen or more were descending on the pool area – my pool – totally disrupting the peace and quiet.

Sigh.

It was late in the day so I decided to just “float with it” and let them have fun.  As I did, one of them called out to me.

My giant pink donut and I floated over to see what they wanted; probably to borrow the donut and inquire about the fruity drinks.

I totally underestimated my new friends. They were attending a sales conference and one of them noticed the visor I wore with my school logo emblazoned across the front. That’s sure to start a conversation.

Suddenly we were networking, right there in the swimming pool. Let me tell you, it’s hard to be professional when you’re floating in a giant strawberry pink donut.

Discussion came to a critical point when we realized we needed to connect beyond the pool. “Let me get my business cards,” I said.

A thought crossed my mind. “Where does one carry a business card when wearing a bikini?”

As a former Girl Scout I knew to be prepared and had some in my bag along with my sunscreen and romance novels. My new friends were not as lucky.

They stuttered and stammered, saying they did have business cards but they were elsewhere.

I tell my clients, “Always, always, always carry a business card.”  You never know when you might have an opportunity to connect with someone.

Floating on a giant pink strawberry donut is highly unusual. As is networking while doing so.  But my new friends will remember me.

And they each have a sunscreen-stained business card with my information.

 

Lessons Learned at My High School Reunion

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Wall decor (2)Let’s be honest: High school for me was good, but it wasn’t exactly what I would consider my “glory days.”

Let me paint the picture:  I was very small for my age and I’m pretty sure the faculty thought my parents mistakenly dropped me off at the high school instead of the junior high.

I dreamt of being popular: the girl everyone wanted to talk with, be friends with, sit with. No way will that ever happen to me, I thought.  Especially since I was afraid to say “Hi” when walking to my next class; that’s a bit of a problem when one wants to make friends.

You see, on the inside I had a huge personality and 100-watt smile. On the outside I was painfully shy, walking through the halls with my head down, scared to death to utter a word to anyone, confident that others were talking about me. And not in a good way.

I didn’t assign to any particular crowd, participating in both popular and, for lack of a better word, nerdy endeavors.

This perception may not have been what others thought of me, but it was my perception. And we all know that perception is reality.  

The one ray of sunshine was my best friend, who happened to be popular. She had the titles, the boys, the accolades – and I was right there next to her. I was convinced that classmates knew me only as “Popular girl’s friend” as we walked together down the hall or stood at our locker. But it didn’t matter. We were best pals and I lived vicariously through her.

Fast-forward many years.

The good news about graduating high school is that we all have a chance to reinvent ourselves, or at least improve and mature with age.  I, for one, am so happy about this. The shy girl who was afraid to speak to others in high school is no longer afraid to walk up to strangers and introduce herself.  It’s amazing what life plus work experience plus maturity will do to a person.

Not to mention a healthy perspective on what was really happening during those high school years. Was everyone really talking about me as I walked down the halls? Highly doubtful. Just as I was concerned with myself, I’m pretty sure others were thinking about themselves at the time too.

And if they were talking about me, who cares? A big WHATEVER heading their way.

Which brings me to high school reunions. I recently attended mine and it was the best party I’ve been to in a long time. None of the worries I had from high school entered my mind. People arrived simply happy to attend, to reconnect with old friends, and to make new ones.

It was a dream come true for this gal, the “Formerly-shy-but-now-will-speak-to-anyone” type, who felt popular for once with the high school crowd. People actually wanted to talk to me! And I had no fear as I walked straight up to others to say “Hi, do you remember me?” Even if they didn’t, it didn’t matter because we all pretended we did.

Two lessons learned at my high school reunion:

  1. People are not always as they seem.  The high school girl who didn’t speak was simply scared and shy. I’m sure many who were loud and boisterous back in high school were also nervous; they simply had a different way of showing it.
  2. People can – and do – change.  I’m now friends with many women from high school with whom I would never have been friends back in the day, and the feeling is mutual. A little older, a little wiser, and now we have the best time together. We support each other like true friends do.

So what does this have to do with work, since this is a career-focused blog? 

  • A similar thing happens during our careers. We are different people when we start out, we make mistakes, we learn from them (hopefully) and we move on.
  • When reconnecting with someone you met ages ago when you were both just starting your careers, try to remember that people can –and do – change, mature, learn, and grow.  Don’t make networking decisions or recommendations based on what you remember from that early job. Their current work/abilities may not reflect what you remember about them when they were fresh out of school.

Most important, be kind. We all were young once.  Thankfully, we’ve improved.

4 Do’s for Successful Networking ….And 1 Don’t

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talk-1034161_1920It’s no secret that networking, that tangible-intangible social bonding experience, is the key to success when it comes to finding a job.

It seems logical then, the more people in your network, the better chance for success.  Professionals of all ages seem to compare networking prowess to their social media victories, counting the number of people as a sign of success.

Whether you are a novice networker or a networker savant, it may come as a surprise to hear this:

Networking is not a numbers game. Networking is all about building relationships.

I cannot stress this enough.  It’s about the relationship you build with each person in your network.

At the end of the day, does the person feel strongly enough about you – in a positive manner – to put their reputation on the line and recommend you for a job?

Whoa! Think about that for a minute, and ask yourself, “Who would I stake my reputation on and recommend for a job?” It’s a daunting thought.

This brings me to the actual networking itself.  Here are 4 “Do’s” and 1 “Don’t” for Successful Networking:

  1. DO Find Common Ground. This is your conversation goal when trying to build a relationship with a new person.  It can be as simple as you both have common interest in the group meeting you are attending at that very moment.  Or perhaps you both went to the same school, work in the same industry or enjoy cheering for the same sports team.  Find something in common to talk about.
  2. DO share your experience. Once you’ve found common ground and have established a bit of a relationship, it’s okay to tell your new acquaintance what you do professionally. Just don’t ask about a job lead right away. Save that for a follow-up down the road.
  3. DO Exchange business cards. DO NOT say, “I’ll remember your name and find you on LinkedIn”. Not gonna happen.  Take the information immediately, for two reasons:  First, you need to call this new contact by name, while you are talking to them. Having a business card helps you do that.  Two, you can write information about her/him on the card afterwards, such as “went to school with Dan” or some other reminder.
  4. DO Follow up. Immediately after the networking event, send each person a note saying it was nice to meet them, adding “Let me know if I can help you in the future”.  Networking is not all about you, you know.  IMPORTANT: Periodically follow up with people in your network, if for no other reason than to say Hi.  It keeps you top of mind and is one more step in building the relationship.

DON’T talk about anything controversial. For your own sake, I beg of you!  This includes politics, religion, sexist remarks; topics that may make others cringe, etc.

The problem with controversial topics is they tend to put others on the defensive. They rarely make friends of strangers, unless you are lucky enough to find someone who shares your views.  It’s a fifty-fifty risk that’s not worth taking when you are trying to score as many new friends as possible in pursuit of employment.

I know this “Don’t” may ruffle some feathers.  Some of you may want to dig in your heels, saying, “These are my beliefs and if someone doesn’t like them, too bad”.   I’m not asking that you give up your beliefs; simply know your audience first and understand the goal you are trying to achieve.

Recently I attended a networking event and was visiting with a gentleman afterward. Not sure how the discussion even began, yet suddenly I felt as if I were under attack on some very personal beliefs brought up by this individual. Others even backed away. His attitude and behavior came across as angry and argumentative; it also didn’t help that his appearance was disheveled and he needed a haircut.

I’m sure he thought he was standing up for his beliefs. Eventually I removed myself from the conversation but for me he blew it with his hot-headed tirade. I will not recommend him going forward.

Remember the end goal: to build a long-term positive relationship with individuals. The next time they need to hire someone with your skills – or hear of a job opening in your field – you want them to think of you.

 

Resumes Are Weird; You Must Network to Find a Job

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When it comes to picking a movie, who do you trust more: your friend or an online movie critic you’ve never met?

If you picked movie critic, perhaps you need new friends. Just sayin’.

In most cases, we trust the opinions of our friends over strangers.

Our friends know us and we know them.  We have grown to value their opinion. They have our best interests at heart and would tell us the truth.

We believe them when they tell us we would enjoy the film.

The same principle is true when it comes to hiring new employees.  We believe our friends and trusted colleagues know us well enough to suggest good candidates for job openings.

This is one reason networking is crucial to your job search.   You must use your network to provide personal recommendations when it comes to securing a job.  

This video by Domics Animation is a clever demonstration of why networking is so important.  He’s right: hiring managers tend to hire someone based on the recommendation of a trusted friend or colleague over hiring a stranger.

The creator is clearly not a fan of resumes, stating “Resumes are weird”, although I believe a good resume is necessary since most of the time we all have to apply for jobs via the company’s website.  May as well make it the best it can be.

And I disagree with the author that young people don’t have networks to help them find their first job.  Even kids in high school have classmates, teachers, and friends of their parents to tap into to help find a job.

Remember: Even with a recommendation you still need to bring you’re A-Game to the interview and to the job itself.  With privilege comes great responsibility; you need to prove your worth.

The important point is to build your network and use that network when searching for a job.

Take a look!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ4NdEtc29o

The Truth About Networking

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Job hunting is a lot like dating. There’s the hunt for a strong connection, mutual goals and a personality fit before actually committing to each other for any length of time.

I’m now going to take this one step further and say that networking is like blind-dating. This seems to be especially true when it comes to using LinkedIn.

Random messages from prospective “dates” arrive in my inbox that say, “I’d like to add you to my professional network.”

These messages are auto-produced, without any thought given to the message. Apparently these people – who are strangers to me – are so desperate to make a connection that they have trolled LinkedIn looking for people to connect with, even if it’s ten degrees of separation.

The notes come without an explanation as to why I might want to connect with them, such as “We are both friends of Joe” or “We both worked together at XYZ”, or “I am in marketing and I would like to connect with other marketers” – anything that would remotely make sense.

You know what happens when I receive a blind-date from LinkedIn? I treat it with the same level of respect as a real date that had shown so little effort.

I ignore the request to connect.

Here’s the truth about networking: Networking is about building a relationship. Even blind-dating is done with the hopes of finding a spark that will build a relationship. But to get the spark, there first has to be some sort of conversation starter.

Simply sending the auto-generated “I’d like to add you to my LinkedIn network” is the worst mistake you can make when networking on LinkedIn.

It shows you have given zero thought to me as a possible connection. It tells me you’re lazy and you won’t give time to even try to establish small talk or begin a relationship.

Worst of all, without any relationship, you are nothing to me and I am nothing to you. There’s no way we can help each other. All we’ve done is pad our LinkedIn numbers in an attempt to show we’ve got tons of connections, albeit bad connections.

Networking takes work. It takes time. It’s not something that can be done by trolling LinkedIn and clicking a few auto-generated invitations.

The truth about networking is that it’s harder than dating. It’s harder than blind-dating. And that’s really, really, hard.

Old Friends, New Faces: A Lesson In Networking

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“OMG! You look awesome!”  “So great to see you!”  “How in the world are things going?”  “We have SO MUCH to talk about!”

The room was buzzing with everyone talking, and shrieking as another person entered.  The beautiful hors d’oeuvres went untouched; no time to eat when we had so much to say.

It was a business meeting, the kick-off event that would set the tone for the rest of the week. Colleagues who had become friends, getting together to catch up.

There’s nothing like it, is there? The camaraderie, the excitement, the “Is that what you really look like?”

Say what?!

Yes, despite years of doing business together, this was the first time some of us had ever met in person. The event could have been titled, “Old friends, new faces”.

I was particularly interested in attending since it would be the first time I would meet my publicist, live, in person. 

Yet it didn’t really matter if we met or not. We already knew each other.  Over the years we have logged countless hours on the phone. We’ve texted and Skyped and emailed and Facebook’d and Tweeted. Our business relationship is as rock-solid as if we had originally met in person.

So how did we ever find each other, several states away? Through networking, of course.

Much is said about the importance of networking in the business world.  I talk a lot about it during presentations on career transition or when I’m working with college students. Who you know – your network – will be instrumental in both your business life and your personal life.

You never know who you know that knows someone.

My story is a classic example of networking at its best. It happened organically, which is usually the case.  I was talking to another person in my network about a project I was working on when she suggested I contact her colleague, who had experience in the same area.

Introductions were made, we had a phone conversation and before you know it we had a business deal.

Similarly, job opportunities can happen through networking.  It’s not always what you know but who you know.

Networking is so important to me that I purposely set aside time to send short notes to people, forward job leads, or to simply say hi.  Even if it’s just a quick acknowledgement on social media, at least they know I’m there.

It amazes me that others don’t understand the power of networking. Recently I had someone tell me that they don’t use LinkedIn or Facebook.  The reason? They don’t have time.

Whoa. That makes my head hurt.

Both are great networking tools, with different purposes that make it easy to connect with others.  LinkedIn should be a no-brainer for everyone of working age.  It’s your online showcase that tells your professional story to business colleagues.  Recruiters search LinkedIn too, looking for qualified candidates.

FaceBook is clearly more social yet can be effective at building your network. Friends have other friends that might be able to help you professionally.  Just be sure to take it off-line when you need to chat about a job.

Many people tell me that social media is a time-suck and that’s why they don’t use it.  I say that’s an excuse; one that is only going to hurt them in the end.

Networking is part of your job, requiring some time and effort, as well as a bit of strategy. Build it into your work plan, set aside time, and do it.

Or you can sit back and wait until you really need a recommendation or, heaven forbid, a new job.  That strategy – or lack of networking – may bite you in the butt.

Alex and me 1-18-15

Must-Haves for Thanksgiving

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Thanksgiving blog

What’s on your list of “must-haves” for Thanksgiving? 

Is it turkey or maybe cranberry sauce? How about a pair of “stretchy pants” that allows you to eat as much as you want and still be comfortable?  Big-screen TV to watch your favorite team?

All good choices, I must admit. 

May I suggest a few other things to add to your list?

  • Business cards.
  • A well-rehearsed elevator speech.
  • A couple of success stories to tell, just in case the opportunity arises.
  • A positive attitude about your job, career, or job search. Even if you’re in a slump.

While the holiday is a great day for eating, relaxing and watching football, it can also be a networking opportunity.

Think I’m nuts? 

You never know who’s going to show up for dinner.  Sometimes dad or Aunt Sue or even the next door neighbor who came to watch the game may have connections.

A similar situation happened to me at Halloween.  A neighbor hosted a party in her front yard to give away candy.  Several of us came to participate.  In between Trick-or-Treaters, we were all talking and one person mentioned she was looking for a job.

As luck would have it, I had just learned of a job that fit her credentials.  We exchanged information, the next day I connected her with the hiring manager and she lined up an interview.

Sometimes connections happen when we least expect it. Like holidays with family and strangers.

Bring your business cards to Thanksgiving dinner, along with a thankful attitude for everything you already have.

You never know what might happen.

Two Things Not to Ask During An Interview

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There are some things one just shouldn’t ask during an interview.

Even during an informational interview that is really more of a mentoring session. What’s rule number one of networking? Always attempt to make a good impression.  Some questions asked do not leave a good impression.

Case in point: A friend agreed to mentor a college student. This included inviting the student to the office to observe work in progress, answer any questions and review his resume.

My friend did her best to show him around the office and meet other people. She shared projects the company had worked on and critiqued his resume, making suggestions that would help when it came to interviewing.

She introduced him to current college interns and showed him the projects they were working on.

It was a great opportunity for the student to see first-hand the inside workings of a large award-winning firm.

A great time to ask questions like, “Which elective courses might help me in this line of work?”, “What kind of projects do new graduates typically work on as they begin their careers?” and “What kind of computer skills do you look for in graduates with my degree plan?”

Since many college programs, even at the graduate level, require internships, it was also a way to inquire about this, including who to contact at the corporate office.

Not this young hotshot.

As the session was coming to a close, the student did have a few questions, mostly mundane and repetitive of what had been answered earlier.

Then the ball dropped.

“Soooo, tell me what’s a typical day like here; you know when do you come in and when do you leave?”

My friend glanced at her watch; time was now about 7 p.m. and the student interns, as well as other high-level managers were still at their desks.

She felt like saying, “You did not just ask me that did you?”

The student quickly followed with: “How much do you pay your interns?” pulling out data on pay obtained from the internet.

My friend was speechless.

The first question could have been one of curiosity; however a quick glance around the open-concept office would have shown that most people were working late.

The second question was just not a smart one to ask during a networking meeting. Especially because 1) this was not a job interview and 2) that’s not information that was his business until a job offer is on the table.

Both questions were red-flags to my friend. In her opinion, the questions signaled that the student was more interested in finding out about the hours he would have to work and how much money he could make instead of what he might learn.

Combined with the issue that throughout the time spent together, he didn’t once show that he had a passion for his chosen career or for possibly working at the firm.

It’s this kind of thing that might come back to bite him in the hind quarters when applying for an internship or a job later on.

Like I said, there are some things one just shouldn’t ask during an interview.

 

Rookie Networking Mistakes

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One thing that career veterans have in common with college students or recent graduates is that we were, at one time, networking rookies.

Like rookies at pro football training camp, students must learn how to network at corporate events with executives, which is somewhat different than networking or meeting people at college mixers.

As in any sport, rookies tend to make mistakes, and that’s okay. The important thing is to learn from them.

The key to networking is preparation and practice. Makes a world of difference.  Remembering to breathe helps too.

Avoid these Rookie Networking Mistakes:

 

M.C. STAMMERER

“I, um – ah –ya, know, like, I was wondering about, like your work, like, what do you do?” “Like?”

Suggestion: Leave, like, maybe, some of those, um, words out, ya know.

Take time to prepare before you attend a networking event.  Remember, this is similar to meeting anyone new: introduce yourself, have questions to ask and topics to discuss; have your thirty- second “elevator pitch” ready.  Act interested in what people have to say.

This is not about you finding an internship or job this minute. This is about building a relationship or connection that could lead to a job prospect down the road.

 

MR. FLY-BY-THE-SEAT-OF-MY-PANTS

Rookie: “I’m studying photography so I want an internship with a ‘good’ photographer.”

Executive: “What kind of photography would you like to do?”

Rookie: “I don’t care. I just want an internship. “

Of course you care! At least you should.

By literally saying, “I don’t care”, if you’re really lucky you may find yourself scrubbing toilets for the “good” photographer while he personally works with the student who said they have a passion to learn how to light a subject correctly.

An internship is a two to three month opportunity to get experience with no strings attached. This does not have to be the work that defines you for the next thirty years.  Pick one or two areas of interest and speak up!

“I really enjoy photographing people and their animals. I would also like to learn more about the proper way to use lighting, both inside and outside”.  

I suspect that’s what the “good” photographer wants to hear.

This is your career, your life, you’re talking about. If you don’t care, no one else will.

 

PLAY DEFENSIVE TACKLE

This should go without saying but I’ve had this happen to me a few times.

Never criticize the employer of someone you just met. Never criticize a policy, an advertisement, the CEO, not one thing.

First, that person may be responsible for what you just criticized. And besides, you’ve now just put them on the defensive when you should be trying to win them over.

Smooth; real smooth.

 

MY CLOTHES WERE DIRTY SO I’M WEARING MY PJ’S

I’m not sure how many more times I can write about this; it’s driving me crazy because this should be obvious. At each event I attend there is at least one person that has yet to receive the memo.

Dress appropriately for a business networking event.

It’s simple, people! Iron your clothes. Brush your hair. Tuck in your shirt. Put on a belt. Wear shoes, not rubber flip flops.  Slacks, not shorts.

Jackets and ties are not required but concert t-shirts are a “no”. Clean, polished shoes. And ladies, if you can’t walk well in those high-heels, opt for something lower.

Please. I’m begging you.

 

WE ARE EXECUTIVES, NOT PSYCHICS

Business networking events are interesting. Career veterans are like politicians working the room, smiling, shaking hands, passing out business cards.

Rookies are shuffling their feet with their heads down or maybe standing quietly on the sidelines like wallflowers.

If I’m at an event with rookies, I generally introduce myself first and present my business card as sort of an ice-breaker. I get it; rookies are nervous.  I remember because I was a rookie at one time.

Yet we career veterans can only hold the conversation for so long, trying to guess the questions rookies want to ask us. It really helps if rookies are prepared for networking with a list of questions to ask; they can actually refer to the list if they need to.  It makes for a much more productive conversation for everyone.we don’t mind helping.

We just can’t read your mind.

 

IT’S NETWORKING; NOT INSTANT GRATIFICATION

Remember that networking is about building a relationship, something that usually takes time. We meet people at school, at work, through church and volunteer organizations or social activities, and over time we learn about each other.

A clear rookie networking mistake is when someone meets me for the first time, we’ve barely introduced ourselves, and the first question they ask is, “Do you know of any jobs for me?”

No, I don’t; we’ve just met and I know nothing about you.

Take time to know me and what it is that I do. Tell me about yourself and what you do or want to do. Let that sit for a while.  Let’s exchange business cards and stay connected on LinkedIn.

Then, when you see a job that interests you and realize that I have a connection at that company, ask me to make an introduction.

Now that’s networking.