FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out

Recently I’ve discovered that I’m suffering from a newly discovered ailment.  It’s quite hard to diagnose as the symptoms disguise themselves.

I knew something wasn’t quite right.  At first I wasn’t sure what it was; I thought I wasn’t getting enough sleep.  Then I decided I wasn’t exercising enough.  Nutrition could be a factor, I thought at one point.  Stress could be part of it; isn’t that always an underlying factor when you’re not feeling 100%?

My usually organized self was running amok.  Unable to think or remember, it seemed like chaos was close at hand.

It was during a quiet moment – a rarity these days – that I read something that rocked my world.

FOMO. Fear. Of. Missing. Out.

That’s it! 

This was – and is – and always has been – me.

In my attempt to experience everything life has to offer – YOLO, you know – I have inadvertently put a lot on my plate.  Almost too much.

Like most people, my life is really busy.  Family, career, volunteering and friends are the bulk of it.  Then I need to – want to – add in personal interests, such as exercise, writing, travel and hobbies.

I love participating in life.  It’s hard for me to say “no” when it comes to social engagements, helping someone or to an opportunity that might help my career despite the fact that it is a time commitment on my part.

“Would you help me with my resume?” Sure!  “Want to grab dinner?” Love to!  “We’d love to have you attend our meeting” Of course!  “Want to join our group?” Awesome!

Combine that with my drive to advance in my career and constantly seeking experiences that will position me for future success and my schedule is packed.

And it’s become too much.

Yet I’m fearful of giving anything up.  First, I enjoy everything that I’m doing.  Second, I’m afraid I’ll miss out on an opportunity by giving something up, even for a short time.

FOMO – fear of missing out.   Not to be confused with its close cousin, YOLO, who is more grounded.  FOMO becomes more like a disease and once it grabs hold, it’s hard to wrestle free from its grip.

FOMO tells us we will miss the perfect opportunity if we don’t participate in everything.  FOMO lies to us, saying “no other opportunities will come our way” unless we act now. Only FOMO knows the truth; that there will always be opportunities.  FOMO can only survive if we buy into its sales pitch that we need it or we will be the ones in jeopardy.

I’d love to blame someone for my addiction to FOMO.  Perhaps mom, who encouraged me as a child to participate in multiple activities to find out which were best suited for me.  I remember one year that was so packed with after school activities that I had something different each night – everything from jazz dancing to scouting to baton twirling.  And that didn’t include the violin lessons and other school-related activities.

While it was fun and mom only had the best intentions, the problem is that I never learned FOMO boundaries.  I needed to understand that I could be in control of my own destiny, selecting the opportunities rather than succumbing to FOMO.

It’s hard to shake FOMO.  Even as I type this, my mind is reeling with possibilities for the upcoming weekend.  One of our favorite bands is playing at a local festival, we want to bike around the lake, we have yard work, both of us have regular work to do, I need to plan Hubby’s surprise birthday party – oops, guess it’s not a surprise anymore.  Plus there’s the usual household stuff and family obligations.

See what I just did?  I walked right back into FOMO’s arms.

Sigh…guess I’m going to have to back off of this slowly, like any addict.  Maybe we’ll cut out one thing this weekend.  Or at least I won’t accept any new invitations.

They say recognizing that you have a problem is the first step toward recovery.  Back off, FOMO.  I’ve got my eye on you.

At least I’m trying.