Toot Your Own Horn

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For some of us, it’s hard to self-promote; to tell others that we are good at what we do.

Growing up I was taught that hard work would be rewarded.  As long as I took care of my room and was basically a good kid, my behavior was recognized.

At school when I put in the time and effort, I was rewarded with good grades and praise, advancement to the next level, and achievements like National Honor Society.

After college reality struck as I realized that, despite all of my hard work and effort, my good results had the potential to go unnoticed in the corporation. 

My eyes were opened to this when I began to notice colleagues talking openly about their achievements in front of key management.

At first I thought they were just being obnoxious and bragging.  Especially since some of these individuals were not really achieving any more than I was at the same point in time.

I remember thinking they were making a social faux pas; that all of their good work would be recognized and rewarded at review time.

Boy was I wrong.

I failed to understand that part of being in the “real world” included self-promotion.

In other words, Toot Your Own Horn.

The key is to own your story and package your achievements in a positive, non-bragging way to the right people.

Easier said than done; certainly something I didn’t learn in business school and definitely not at home.

My nephew reminded me of the importance of self-promotion.  A high school senior and kicker on the football team, he has earned the right to brag.  He’s good; really good.  It’s not just me, his proud aunt, saying so. His stats speak for themselves.

Accolades from coaches at kicking camps, including an NFL kicker, accompany the sizzle reel he’s sending out to college coaches.

Yet his quiet, confidence – an asset when kicking under intense pressure on the field – is almost a detriment now.

Just like his aunt when she was the same age, he believes his work should speak for itself. 

My advice to him is the same as it would be to anyone in corporate: speak up, with confidence. 

Whether it’s the CEO, your immediate manager, or in my nephew’s case, a college scout or local news media, make sure you have your talking points ready.

For my nephew, it’s the all important question, “Are you a good kicker?”

He needs to look the person in the eye and say, “Yes. My field goal percentage is X“, and rattle off the one or two stats they need to hear.

That’s not bragging; that’s unemotional self-promotion.

And it may get him the job he wants.

Quitting Is Not An Option

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football field

Well, that was embarrassing.

My favorite team lost the game. Actually, it was a blow-out. I believe the technical phrase for what happened is “It was a clinic”.

We were schooled. On national TV.

I don’t even think those were our players on the field.  They must have been imposters wearing our uniforms.

That would have been a best-case scenario.

I’m sure that was a long ride home for the team. My guess is that the coach had some “motivational” words for the players.  Perhaps they had to watch the game on the ride home to see just exactly where things went so horribly wrong.

Yes, I’m sure this week is probably one of the worst for every player. Here’s what I’m guessing:

  • Players do not want to walk across campus; no reason to hold their head up.
  • Not one player wants to sit in class while others stare at him.
  • Many players may want to throw in the towel; give up.

Yes, bombing out is embarrassing.

One thing I do know: Neither the coach nor the team will give up.

Quitting is not an option.

So they will review the tapes. They will run drills. They might make some player changes. They will study plays like preparing for final exams.

They will practice like never before.

They will win again, proving to themselves and to everyone else that they are a good team.

All I’ve got to say is, thank goodness my work mistakes are not watched by millions on national TV.

That said, I’m guessing that most of us, at one point or another, have experienced the “agony of defeat” – or at least feeling defeated – at work.

Maybe the project you were leading missed its’ goal and you wanted to throw in the towel?

Perhaps the annual review wasn’t quite as stellar as you thought it should be and figured, why bother to try anymore?

Or maybe you just had a bad day or week and simply wanted a do-over?

It’s hard to walk back into the office feeling defeated, wondering if others are whispering behind their cubicles about “Project Fail”.

We all have bad days, weeks or projects. I get it. Your desk, your “home away from home”, the place where it “all went wrong”, can be depressing to see.

Even if the “oops” is something that only we know about, we can internalize the error to the point of being unproductive, sometimes wanting to hang our heads in defeat.

What do you do after such a fail?

  • Take the constructive comments from management and figure out how using that information might have helped.
  • Write a quick “post-mortem”, including the original project goals, strategies and tactics, as well as the final outcome. Include a list of “Take-Aways”; things you learned and what you would do different next time.
  •  File this document where you can find it.
  • Now, smile, and hold your head up.

Thing is, we are usually tougher on ourselves than others are on us. Sure, no one likes to “lose”, whether it’s on the playing field or at work.

What’s important is that we determine where we made mistakes, correct those mistakes and move on. Next time, the project – or game – should have a different outcome.

Quitting is not an option.

 

Career Do-Overs

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Success and Failure Road Sign with dramatic clouds and sky.

Recently I was a panel member for a discussion with graduate business students.  These discussions are always interesting – I’m just as interested in the answers from the other panel members as the students.

This discussion topic was something I had not talked about before with a group.  The question posed: “What has been your biggest career mistake?”

Wow! I asked the moderator how much time we had.  Speaking for myself, I knew that it could take a while to sort out all of the mistakes I’ve made throughout my career.

Luckily we had been given warning of the topic.  All four panel members, including myself, had a written list of career mistakes we wanted to share.

One by one, we told of our mistakes, our embarrassments, our failures.  We each had, at one time or another, wished for a career “do-over” – one of those things where you say, “If I had a chance to do it over, I would….”

Note that this was not a sad or depressing conversation.  We were all smiling and sometimes laughing.  It’s always easier to laugh at your own mistakes after the fact, when time has passed and we are wiser.

The most amazing thing to me is that all four of us had pretty much made the same mistakes, and we had the same messages for the students.

Learn to manage people.  This is not something that is taught in school, nor is there much training once you get into the real world.  Managing people is critical to your success at work.  Note that this includes managing your relationships with co-workers, as well as “managing up” – making sure you are communicating effectively with your boss.

Managing your boss means communicating on a regular basis to let him know what you are doing, what you need and to clarify what you believe his expectations are.  One panel member described a boss who was so poor at communicating his direction that she learned how to break it down for him and would list out exactly what she thought she heard.  He appreciated her efforts, and although it took a bit of effort on her part it helped her succeed.

Think long-term, not short-term, when it comes to job opportunities.  One panel member shared how he had a long-term goal for himself in terms of advancement.  His company offered him an opportunity that, in his mind, was a lower title and on the surface appeared to be a backward move.  He thought that accepting the opportunity would make it appear that he had been demoted, so he let his ego think for him and he declined the offer.  

Looking back, he now realizes that he missed an opportunity to learn a new part of the business and that accepting the “lower” job would have allowed him to achieve his career goal about five years sooner.   Lesson here: don’t be so focused on the short-term; step back and look at what the long-term implications might be.

The world is very small.  And guess what? It’s even smaller in your field of work. As we’ve advanced in our careers and built our professional networks, it’s become crystal clear that there are fewer than six degrees of separation between you and your next opportunity.

One panel member explained that in her field it’s not uncommon for people to leave or get laid-off, go to other jobs, and then a few years later come back to the same company.   At her new company she now is working with some of the same people she met years ago at a different company.  This is a classic example of “never burn bridges”.  You never know who you might end up working with again.

Make mistakes!  Know that you are going to make mistakes – we all do at some point.  The key to making mistakes at work and surviving is to learn from them and not to repeat them.  It’s also important to own your mistakes – accept responsibility and offer a solution to make it right.  When you make a mistake, alert the boss.  While this may sound counter-intuitive, it’s a critical part of “managing up”. Make your boss aware of the situation so he can be part of the solution.

These are all great tips and I thank my panelist-friends for sharing. But I haven’t told you about my mistake.   Here goes:  Early in my career I had a friend call with a lead on a job at a start-up firm.  I wasn’t making much money at the time but rationalized it away with the prestige my job offered.  Not to mention business trips overseas which, I argued at the time, could be considered part of my salary.

Instead of at least listening to what the new company had to offer, I didn’t even apply or try to talk to them.   Whether I would have accepted a job at the start-up is beside the point.  I turned them down before they even made me an offer.   The regret-filled “would-have”, “could-have” and “should-have” questions have followed me throughout my career.

Since that fateful mistake, I have made myself open to opportunities, even just talking and listening.  I don’t have to accept but at least I don’t turn a job down before they make me an offer.

What was this start-up that still has me thinking, “What if?”  Dell Computers.  It would have been a chance to get in on the ground floor, complete with stock options.

Now I think you can understand the impact of my mistake.  At least my retirement plan and bank account do.