Bouncing Back After a Job Loss – The Video

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This week I’m coming to you in person!  Well, sort of.  Recently I had the pleasure of hosting a Google Hangout for The Resume Edge titled, “How to Bounce Back After Losing Your Job”.  Questions came in from viewers and we had a great discussion.

This week I thought you might like to “hear” me instead of “read” me for a change as I discuss bouncing back after a job loss . So grab a coffee, sit back and enjoy!

The link to the video can be accessed here on my site or through this YouTube link, or by searching YouTube with “How to Bounce Back After Losing Your Job”.

Do What Scares You After A Job Loss

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Misty

Who doesn’t love a puppy with their funny little run, wagging tails and slobbery kisses?  They are so cute, aren’t they?

A long time ago, I was one of the few people on the planet who did not like puppies.

Actually I was terrified of dogs. Any size, any kind.  It didn’t matter if they were on a leash, in a crate or behind a fence, or if they were the kindest, gentlest dog around, I was frightened beyond belief.

I wasn’t born afraid of dogs. My irrational fear of man’s best friend began when I was five.  The event that triggered this was apparently so horrific to me that my mind has blocked it from memory.

Mom tells me that our next door neighbor was a kind man with five extra-large dogs; giant poodles to be exact that were all taller than me.   Knowing that I was tiny for my age, he would keep them behind the fence when I was playing outside.

We were walking home from school one day and I ran ahead of mom; he didn’t see me in the yard and let the dogs out.  As the story goes, all five decided to rush me, knocking me to the ground and I couldn’t get up.

At that moment, I became deathly afraid of dogs.

The incident happened in Ohio and I was upset to learn that there were dogs in Texas when we moved here. Usually I walked home from elementary school. If I saw even the smallest dog or heard so much as a yip up ahead, I would alter my route, sometimes going blocks out of my way.

Once we visited cousins who had a very gentle Labrador.  In my terror-filled mind, it may as well have been a house-broken T-Rex. I remember climbing up on the shoulder of the sofa against the wall to get behind my parents who could “shield” me from the beast, lest he tried to give me a kiss.

Yep, that’s what trauma does to a person.

When I was ten mom and dad realized I was not outgrowing the trauma.  One day mom picked me and Sis up from school saying that she had ordered us a very special Christmas gift that we would have to share.  We were so excited about this gift, we ran into the house to find dad sitting in his chair reading the paper.  He had the gift!

He lowered the paper to reveal, of all things, a puppy. Augh! A baby T-Rex!

Sis jumped up and down; I took a giant step backward.  How dare mom and dad bring a beast into the house?

I was scared to death to get close to it.  Physically shaking. Afraid to touch it, especially the paws for some strange reason.

Mom pushed me forward and said, “Just try, please, just try”, as Dad put the beast on the carpet.

The beast couldn’t have weighed more than eight pounds and was so small that we could easily pick her up.  She came over and licked my feet, and I touched her head; her ears were so soft.  I don’t remember much after that except that suddenly we had a dog – she was MY dog – and I was calling all of my friends to come over to see her.

Mom and dad realized the importance of getting back in the game after a traumatic loss; getting back on the bike after falling off; or whatever metaphor you want to use here.

Same is true after a job loss. 

Losing your job is traumatic, in a way.  We lose not only our work and income, but our sense of identity, our daily purpose and social interaction.  Depending on the situation surrounding the job loss, there can be emotional trauma that makes us feel inadequate or insecure in our abilities – and that can make us fearful that we might fail at another job or even the interview to get the job.

The key is jumping back on the bike, grass in our hair, with both knees skinned and bleeding, to try again.  More than likely we will not fail.  The scariest part is trying.

Update your resume. Put your best foot forward.  Go on those interviews – the more you interview, the better you’ll become.

Do what scares you.  You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish.

Practice Makes Perfect

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Chocolate Cake Slice with Raspberries

“You are a ROCK STAR!” read the text from my PR guy.  Yes, PR people have PR people – it’s a real thing; look it up.

“That was awesome; you did great!” read an email from someone else.  “I can’t wait to watch the video,” said Hubby, who happened to miss the entire thing.

I may charge Hubby a fee for missing it. He claims being on an airplane is a good excuse.

The “It” I’m talking about was my first live online video chat through Google Hangout for the website Resume Edge. The topic was “How to Bounce Back After a Job Loss”, something I discuss when I’m invited to speak to various groups and a subject I’m very familiar with.

Why was I so nervous going into the Hangout?  Maybe it was it because this was my first time using this platform.  It’s always intimidating to try new technology for the first time – with everyone watching – and no IT guy nearby in case I needed help.  Maybe my nerves were acting up because I would have to think on the fly to answer questions as they came in.  Who knows?

So what does a good presenter do in such a situation? Have a Plan B.  And C.  And D, if you think you might need it.

Boy did I have back up plans!  My iPad was charged up and standing by in case my laptop failed me.  My smart phone was on the desk just in case.  I had my notes open side-by-side with the Hangout app so I could see both screens.  If all else failed, I planned to pick up my laptop with the built-in webcam and give everyone a tour of my house, hoping they would be confused and think they tuned in to HGTV or something.

You’d think I was some sort of Hangout savant.

Yet none of my back-up plans were necessary.  Things went smoothly.  Easy-peasy. Piece of cake.

Truth be told, the reason it went so smoothly was that I practiced.  A lot.

First I reviewed all of my presentations on the subject, taking notes and thinking about possible questions that may be asked.  Hubby assisted by randomly throwing questions at me at different times of day to see if I could answer intelligently.  He’s such a helper.

Next, I scheduled a Hangout with my PR guy to test the technology.  Good thing, too, since we quickly discovered that my computer’s internal microphone wasn’t working.  Yikes.  That would have been awful for everyone except those who could read lips.

Once I got the mic working, I spent hours practicing in front of my webcam. Rehearsing as if this were the real-deal.   Also gave me a chance to make sure the lighting was right and the background looked good.

All of the dress-rehearsals paid off.  There were some tech issues – the Hangout kept telling me I needed to login when I was already logged in – but like any good actor I just kept going.  I figured I was either doing a great job, or if I was talking to no one I’d get a text telling me they could no longer see me on the screen.

Practice.  No one likes to do it yet it can pay off in the end.  I am certainly not a fan of talking to myself in front of a video camera.  Boy, am I glad I did.

Same thing applies when you prepare for a job interview.  Practice answering interview questions – out loud.  There’s nothing like having to say the words.   At the very least prepare a list of possible questions you might be asked, then type out your answers.  If nothing else, you will have given it some thought and will not be “winging it”.

Practice allows you to enter the interview with confidence.  If you’re thrown a curveball question, it’s easier to respond.  True, the answer may not be perfect yet imagine what might happen if you tried to “wing it” in this situation?

Practice, people!  It’s what you should do.

Embracing Change

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Brrr! When I woke up this morning the temperature had dropped to twenty nine degrees.  Yesterday it was eighty and I was rockin’ flip-flops.  Today we will reach thirty-two if we’re lucky.  But just wait: according to the forecast, tomorrow’s high will be seventy-nine.

That’s Texas for you. If you don’t like the weather just wait a day because it will change.

One of the benefits of my first job out of grad school is that I learned to adapt to change.  We were expected to change jobs within the company every three years on average.  We would master one job, and move on to the next.  From the beginning we could see our career path laid out before us.  It was succession planning at its best.

You know what I learned from that?  Apparently I like change.  Sort of like the old saying, “A rolling stone gathers no moss”, I find myself itching for something new after a few years.

Hubby can rest easy. This does not apply to our relationship, although I will admit to wanting to infuse change into our home in the form of new furniture.  Talk about an expensive change!

For my career, change doesn’t have to involve leaving; it can mean a new position within the same company.  I would just like some advancement or newness – anything to keep from feeling like I’m in a rut.

As a consultant, change is part of my job. While I’m working for one client, I’m constantly in “new business development mode” scouting for work.  My friend calls it the “Fish while you eat” business model.  Even working on retainer for clients, at some point the agreement ends and I’m off to my next gig.

With consultant as my title, simply walking into a company can signal “change” for long-term employees.  Even though I’m only there to help, my presence can trigger fear.  And sometimes distrust. I want to scream, “I’m not like the Bob’s in the movie Office Space!”  (Great movie if you haven’t seen it; well worth the rental)

Yet change is inevitable and we all need to adapt to it.

I made an interesting observation between two clients.  One was well-established, with a mature employee base, probably in the upper forties.  The other was a start-up consisting of Gen Y-ers and Millenials, with the oldest person in their mid-thirties.

At the more established company, I sensed that some of the workers were skeptical of my presence, wondering what I was doing and why I was brought in to help.  Didn’t matter that it had nothing to do with them and that no jobs were in jeopardy.  Any comment I had or request that I made was “change”, and we all know that change is fear.

The younger, start-up company was all about change.  After all, they were plowing into uncharted territory. They were going to succeed or die trying. But fear, if was there any, was hiding.  There was an “all hands on deck” mentality, and I was immediately brought onto the team.  Change was welcomed.

I hope I never lose my ability to embrace change!

Fear of change starts to creep in as we mature.  Even though I like change, lately I’ve found that even I have to push myself to fight through any fear.

I talk a lot about career reinvention at speaking engagements.  Unfortunately I see this fear of change happen a lot, especially to those who have been laid-off or simply want to make a career change. They let fear take over. My guess is that it’s not that they doubt their capabilities, but movement of any kind – either forced through a layoff or on their own – means change.  Which is uncomfortable. And scary.

And that’s unfortunate.

These people are missing out on so much.  Learning, meeting new people, trying something new.  Living. Succeeding.

Yes, they could fail. But what if they succeed?

Let’s all try to embrace change; make it our friend. The more we get to know change the better we will like it.

And that’s a big step in the right direction.

 

Five Truths About Unemployment That Everyone Should Know

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The job market is getting a lot of attention again these days.  The unemployment rate is either up or down, depending on the day of the week it seems.  There are still layoffs – Macy’s just announced one.  Another report I read stated that companies, fearful of the economy, may be slow to hire despite the fact that business has picked up.

We hear all about the business side of unemployment, yet almost nothing about the less tangible effects.  Although these sometimes are more powerful than anything else, because they affect us on a personal level.  Yes, there is more to unemployment that losing a job.

Here are five truths about unemployment that everyone should know:

It’s boring.  That’s right; being unemployed is boring. I know you’re shocked to hear this, huh?  After all, who hasn’t stated at one point or another that being laid off would allow time to do all sorts of great things, from cleaning out the closets, to spending time at the gym, to writing the great American novel.

Truth be told, without the pressure of deadlines looming, we tend to procrastinate even more than we did when we were busy at work.  Besides, we didn’t really want to clean, or spend time at the gym.  And it turns out that for most people, writing the great American novel sounds like fun but after the first paragraph it’s a bit dull.

Shopping is out of the question as we try to conserve resources. With boredom setting in, we allow the TV and couch to draw us into their cocoon as we curl up to watch endless hours of Honey Boo-Boo.

It’s Socially Challenging. In more ways than one, I might add. First, we lose our identity when we lose our job.  I’ve talked about this before – we all say we’re not defined by our jobs, but just wait till that first encounter with a friend or former colleague who asks, “So where are you/what are you doing now?”

Take my advice: Develop your answer and practice saying it out loud before you leave the house, so it rolls off the tongue instead of causing you to mumble something like, “Uh, I, um..well, I used to… I mean…I…now I, uh, play computer solitaire.”

Our social network is suddenly diminished without our jobs.  The loss of daily interaction with others – even if they are only FAW’s (Friends at Work) – can be stifling.  Our friends aren’t available for us; they are busy working or raising a family or have other obligations.

Desperate for contact, we find ourselves reaching out to anyone who will listen, striking up conversations with random strangers in the grocery store and at the gym.  For me, the dog has become a source of companionship although I think she’s giving me a hint to stop talking when she wanders off to her crate while I’m in the middle of a story.

It’s Emotional.  This one is a bit surprising in that it’s not just one emotion but a series of emotions that happen over time. We try to put up a brave front with friends, telling them we are fine, we’ve got several “irons in the fire” and are “looking into some opportunities”, because we are never sure exactly which emotion is in control at that moment.

Similar to other life events, a job loss can trigger a flood of feelings including anger, embarrassment, sadness, bitterness, happiness, self pity, loss of confidence, and fear.   The emotions come in waves, and you have to ride each wave all the way.  True happiness eventually comes, although it takes some time.

Warning: Don’t be fooled by immediate feelings of happiness due to new-found free time. Happiness is fickle and will make you feel giddy one minute, then crash down around you the next.  Heaven forbid you are hormonal at the same time.

It’s Work.  And you thought your job was full of pressure?  Try full-time job searching and networking, not to mention keeping track of who you’ve spoken with and which companies you’ve applied to.  If you’re like me and add consulting or part time work to your schedule, it’s really busy!  The calendar of coffee dates alone is enough to drive you nuts. Of course that might just be the caffeine talking.  I’ve found it best to stick to decaf.

It’s Filled with Uncertainty.  Financial uncertainty for sure – duh, that should go without saying.  Then there’s the bigger question of “When will I find another job?” Because that, of course, plays into the financial uncertainty.

This is followed closely by a series of questions designed to keep you awake at night with your stomach in knots.   “What kind of job?” “At what point should I just take any job?” “How low do I have to go when it comes to salary?”  “Will I have to move to another city?”  Sometimes this uncertainty takes a nap during daylight, only to return when you are ready to sleep. It’s a vicious cycle.

One thing is certain: a job loss is life-changing.  Hopefully it changes you for the better. Just remember that there’s more to unemployment that losing a job.

The Art of Being Prepared

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I have always been one to plan ahead, especially when it comes to travel.  Must be my years of Girl Scout training, when we had to anticipate all possible outcomes for our camping adventures.  Being unprepared is not in my psyche; in fact I over-prepare.  No food on the plane? No problem; I’ve brought snacks. Boredom?  Again a non-issue since I carry at least one book and a couple magazines, as well as an iPad, to keep me entertained.  Thirsty?  A large bottle of water makes the trip too. While the airlines have been cutting back on the amenities, I seriously doubt I need to carry a shovel to dig my own latrine like I did sometimes in scouting.

A recent business trip had me reviewing my preparedness initiative as I lugged my handbag and tote to the gate.  What the heck do I have in there? I thought.  Looking into my purse, one would think I was never going to see civilization again. Stuffed to the top, it no longer resembled a handbag but more like an emergency supply kit that the Red Cross would envy.

Aside from the normal items including my wallet, lip gloss and boarding pass, here’s what I found:

–          Breath mints (okay, not so unusual)

–          Tissues (just in case and for a variety of uses)

–          Granola bar

–          Bag of almonds

–          Chocolate (always a must-have)

–          Hand lotion (you know how dry the air gets on a plane)

–          Hand sanitizer (I’m not going to trust others to be clean much less any surfaces. It is cold and flu season, you know.)

–          Bottle of water for hydration, despite the fact that I always order a beverage when the flight attendants come by with the cart

–          Large shawl  (in case it’s cold on the plane)

–          Neck scarf (also for too much AC)

–          Headphones in case there’s a movie or I need to avoid a chatty seatmate

–          Aspirin and throat lozenges

–          An herbal tea bag

–          Toothbrush/toothpaste

My tote bag is another story.  Suffice it to say I was prepared enough that my luggage could make a side-trip to another location and I would not be upset.  No wonder my arms were aching by the time I sat down on the plane.  And I didn’t have a laptop with me!

The good news is that I enjoyed a nice flight with my own snacks while others clamored for the pricey pre-wrapped sandwiches offered by the airline.  I was entertained with my reading materials while others pouted since the TV monitors were not working and therefore no in-flight movie.

What does this have to do with a layoff or a job search?  Not much I guess, except that I thought you should know about my preparedness plan.  Just in case any of you need to travel to a job interview.