The Most Difficult Part of Networking Is Leaving The House

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business cards

“Networking group meets at 11:30; see you there!” 

I stared at the email and contemplated my options.  Should I go to the one-hour networking lunch or stay home and concentrate on my to-do list?

The easy choice was to stay in my home office and keep working.

The more difficult choice was to pick myself up, get ready, grab some business cards and go to the lunch meeting.

After all, it was already 10:30 and I was still in my morning-walk-the-dog outfit.  Make-up was questionable. My to-do list for clients was a mile-long.  I wasn’t looking for a job; I had good clients and lots of work to keep me busy.

Besides, this was a new networking group and I really didn’t know anyone.  Okay, I sort of knew the leader of the group.  We both attended the same high school way-back-when and had reconnected on social media.

But was seeing an old friend to have lunch enough incentive to leave the comfort of my home office? Aside from my friend, I wouldn’t know anyone at the meeting.

I tried to convince myself that attending was a good thing; something I had done hundreds of times before at various events.  I knew how to mingle and make small talk.  This would only be an hour of my life.

How hard could it be?

Networking can be one of the most difficult things we do. Even for an outgoing social-butterfly like me.

In fact, if I wasn’t so outgoing and social, I can see how easy it would be to never attend a networking event. Ever.

It’s hard to go to these things alone.  Thoughts that ran through my mind included:

“What will I say?”

“What if they don’t like me?”

“Will I have anything of value to contribute?”

“Maybe it’s a waste of time.”

“Maybe I should wait until another day when I’m better prepared.”

Geez, I can talk my way out of anything.  Like most of us can, I suspect.

And this was coming from someone who is skilled at networking.  Someone who writes about this subject; who coaches others on the finer points of networking; who understands the importance of building and maintaining your network.

Then it hit me. I suddenly realized that if I was having difficulty attending a one-hour networking lunch, imagine how some of my clients must feel?

My energy kicked in as I got dressed in my best business-casual outfit, touched up my make-up, grabbed a stack of business cards and hopped in the car.

Driving towards the meeting, I quickly outlined my goals.  Introduce myself to at least five people.  Come home with at least five business cards.  I rehearsed my thirty-second elevator speech about my business.

You know what?  It wasn’t hard at all.

The group was small and welcomed me.  We each had a chance to introduce ourselves and tell a little about ourselves.  Unlike other networking groups I had attended, everyone here was actually working.

I met my goals. 

As I left, I promised myself I would return for another meeting as well as get out to other groups. The only way to meet people is to leave the house. Duh!

Added bonus: One of the people I met needed my expertise for a job he was bidding and contacted me for help.  Who knows? This could translate into more business for me.

The lesson for all of us is this: No matter where we are in our career, we must continue to network.

Whether you work in an office or from home, get outside of your normal routine and expand your horizons to add names to your digital rolodex. The most difficult part of networking is leaving the house.

Besides, you have to eat lunch anyway.  May as well be productive while doing so.

Always Carry A Business Card

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business card

“It’s tomorrow at 10:00; will you take me?” said the voice on the phone.  Ugh.  It’s not that I didn’t want to help Mom. It’s just that my schedule was already tight, with a big project deadline and a to-do list a mile long.  The last thing I wanted was to attend a funeral.

To add to the conundrum, I learned the service was for a former neighbor and the mother of a childhood friend. Didn’t matter that I had lost touch with my friend. I remember when Dad died, how good it made me feel to have people attend his service.  Now I felt guilty – that I had to attend.  I felt like I should go whether mom was involved or not.

Oh, that Catholic guilt!  And I’m not even Catholic.

So I worked like crazy, getting as much done as possible that would allow me to take a couple hours for the service.

Once at the service I knew I had done the right thing.  Not only for mom, but for myself as well.

I know you think I’m going to say something like, “It was a good reminder to slow down” or “The family appreciated my presence” or even, “It felt good to help mom”.

Yes, it was all of those things.  But actually – truthfully – it was a great reminder to always carry a business card.

You see, it turns out that a funeral is also a good networking opportunity.

I know, I know.  That sounds awful.  Part of me hates that I even typed that sentence.

This was not planned; it just happened, as networking so often does.  We were at the reception following the service, seated at a table with mom’s friends.  I struck up a conversation with a man at the next table, asking how he was related to the family.  We began talking and I discovered he’s a commercial photographer.  Wouldn’t you know, I was looking for a commercial photographer for a client project!

Small world, huh?  Turns out I couldn’t use him on this project since he’s based in another city a few hours away.  I asked for his business card for future projects.   He looked at me and his face fell.  “I didn’t bring any”.

That, my friends, was unfortunate.

I know it sounds harsh, given he was at his grandmother’s funeral.  My point is that it just goes to show that you never know when or where you are going to meet someone who might be a business contact.  Business cards should be just like a driver’s license: with you at all times.

Luckily for him I had business cards with me, so he’s got my information to connect on LinkedIn as well as my email address.

And the story gets better.  We continued talking and I mentioned a PR contact I had in his city that might be a good business contact for him.  Super small world: turns out he just finished a project for her!

Talk about six degrees of separation.

What did I learn from this day, aside from the fact that people really appreciate your attendance at life-changing events?

–          Always carry a business card

–          Pay it forward. I gave mom a ride; good karma gave me a business connection. Thanks mom, for not being confident enough to drive across town!

–          Funerals can be a good networking opportunity

Can I get an “Amen”?

Do I Know You?

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Businessman Giving out Card 

I stare at the face on the screen, my brain searching for any memory of this person.  For the umpteenth time I look at the name, still not remembering anything. 

The face stares back.  It’s a great picture of this person, dressed in business attire, not a candid shot taken at a party with some questionable activities going on.  I mean, we all love a good party but those “beer-bucket-on-the-head” photos may not be as funny years from now.

Surely we must have been friends, or colleagues, or at the very least acquaintances at some point in my life.  Why else would someone want to connect with me on social media?

I scroll down to read any information about this person.  Didn’t go to school together, their career seems a bit different than mine.  Ah-ha!  There it is; years ago we both worked at the same company.   

Yet I still have no idea who you are.

Probably due to the fact that while we were both employed by the same company, this person worked in a different city than I did. And to my knowledge we never even attended a meeting together. 

Seems like I’m getting more of these random requests from people I don’t know, with no explanation in the note as to why they are reaching out to me.  Am I the only one who thinks we should have at least some knowledge of the people we connect with online? 

Perhaps you think I’m conservative.  Or maybe you’re thinking that I just “don’t get” social media.  As an early adopter of LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest, I’m pretty sure I understand the concept. 

I’ll be the first one to tout the virtues of these platforms, especially LinkedIn and Facebook.   They are great ways to maintain and build your business network, as well as reconnect with friends and family socially. 

In fact, I’m forever preaching the benefits of LinkedIn to those who are in a job search, and I’m amazed when I discover that many have not made use of this platform.

That said, I think we need to remember that social networking is not a high school popularity contest.  There’s no prize for the most connections.  The Great Social Media Gods are not keeping tally.  More isn’t necessarily better.

I’m sure I have hurt some feelings when rejecting “friend” requests on Facebook, preferring to truly be friends with someone before allowing them in.   Radical concept, I know.

For LinkedIn, I can see the value in relaxing the standards since I’m not sharing details of my weekend or the fabulous pair of shoes I just picked up at the mall.

Yet I still see the need to use some discretion on this platform.

This person whose photo I’m looking at is probably very nice.  My assumption is that they are trying to find a job as it appears they are out of work, although I have no idea since they did not include an explanation in the connection request.

My challenge is that even if I connect with you, I don’t KNOW you.  And that means I’m not comfortable either connecting you with others or sending your resume to HR because, again, I don’t KNOW you. 

Did you really manage everything alone, as your profile indicates, or were you part of a team?  How about your people skills? I need to know about those too.

True networking is getting to know people so they have at least some knowledge of your personality and abilities.  It’s not about finding any and all who worked at the same company, or worse, just randomly trying to connect so you can brag to your friends about your huge network.

My apologies to this nice-looking person, but I’m denying your request.  If you feel strongly that we should connect, please send me a note with some sort of introduction or explanation.  

I, too, want to have great connections.  I’m just not in it to win a popularity contest.

Girl Power

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One of the benefits of being an author is that I get invited to speak at different groups and events.  And that means I get to meet new people – always a plus for a social person like me.  It’s especially good if there’s food involved; bonus points if there’s chocolate.  

Recently I had the opportunity to meet a wonderful group of women who are part of an organization designed specifically to support local business women.  They meet regularly to talk about business issues in general as well as those specific to women.  They want to empower themselves and other women through constant learning and growing. 

During my time with them, we focused on reinventing yourself in your career.  It was a wonderfully engaging conversation.  We talked about almost everything: our careers, the economy, even shoes.  It’s a universal rule: whenever two are more women are gathered, there will be a discussion at some point about shoes.

This was “Girl-Power” at its finest.  Or whatever you call it now that we are adults.

Although I was the guest speaker, I felt immediately like part of the group. The chatter flowed effortlessly as though we had been friends for years.   And I was reminded about the importance of supporting our friends and colleagues as we journey through our business lives. 

Last week I wrote about neglect as it pertains to our resumes and interview skills.  This meeting reminded me that we also need to keep our friendships thriving – both personal friendships as well as business acquaintances. 

This is beyond networking; this is a support system.  And it’s vital to our career growth. 

I, for one, am guilty of neglecting my support system.  Not talking about family here.  Hubby looks wounded, like he’s been kicked off my support team.  He is my rock, and always will be.  It’s just that everyone – women and men – need a business support system outside of the family.   People who are objective third parties.

This group of women reminded me that I need to make my support system a priority, although that’s easier said than done. We’re all busy, and adding one more thing to the schedule seems like a monumental task.  It’s important for me to do this so I can continue to grow in my career and as a person.

I sure don’t want to wait until a layoff or I’m desperate to begin a job search to try and round up my friends and colleagues.  Yikes.  That would be like asking friends to come to my wedding at the last minute. 

To my Girl-Power friends out there, I’m sorry I’ve neglected you.  It’s about time we re-grouped for a friendly networking event.  If I’m in charge, there will be lots of food and plenty of beverages – and definitely chocolate. 

And don’t forget to put your best foot forward – shoes will be the first topic on the agenda.