Five Truths About Unemployment That Everyone Should Know

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computer job pic

The job market is getting a lot of attention again these days.  The unemployment rate is either up or down, depending on the day of the week it seems.  There are still layoffs – Macy’s just announced one.  Another report I read stated that companies, fearful of the economy, may be slow to hire despite the fact that business has picked up.

We hear all about the business side of unemployment, yet almost nothing about the less tangible effects.  Although these sometimes are more powerful than anything else, because they affect us on a personal level.  Yes, there is more to unemployment that losing a job.

Here are five truths about unemployment that everyone should know:

It’s boring.  That’s right; being unemployed is boring. I know you’re shocked to hear this, huh?  After all, who hasn’t stated at one point or another that being laid off would allow time to do all sorts of great things, from cleaning out the closets, to spending time at the gym, to writing the great American novel.

Truth be told, without the pressure of deadlines looming, we tend to procrastinate even more than we did when we were busy at work.  Besides, we didn’t really want to clean, or spend time at the gym.  And it turns out that for most people, writing the great American novel sounds like fun but after the first paragraph it’s a bit dull.

Shopping is out of the question as we try to conserve resources. With boredom setting in, we allow the TV and couch to draw us into their cocoon as we curl up to watch endless hours of Honey Boo-Boo.

It’s Socially Challenging. In more ways than one, I might add. First, we lose our identity when we lose our job.  I’ve talked about this before – we all say we’re not defined by our jobs, but just wait till that first encounter with a friend or former colleague who asks, “So where are you/what are you doing now?”

Take my advice: Develop your answer and practice saying it out loud before you leave the house, so it rolls off the tongue instead of causing you to mumble something like, “Uh, I, um..well, I used to… I mean…I…now I, uh, play computer solitaire.”

Our social network is suddenly diminished without our jobs.  The loss of daily interaction with others – even if they are only FAW’s (Friends at Work) – can be stifling.  Our friends aren’t available for us; they are busy working or raising a family or have other obligations.

Desperate for contact, we find ourselves reaching out to anyone who will listen, striking up conversations with random strangers in the grocery store and at the gym.  For me, the dog has become a source of companionship although I think she’s giving me a hint to stop talking when she wanders off to her crate while I’m in the middle of a story.

It’s Emotional.  This one is a bit surprising in that it’s not just one emotion but a series of emotions that happen over time. We try to put up a brave front with friends, telling them we are fine, we’ve got several “irons in the fire” and are “looking into some opportunities”, because we are never sure exactly which emotion is in control at that moment.

Similar to other life events, a job loss can trigger a flood of feelings including anger, embarrassment, sadness, bitterness, happiness, self pity, loss of confidence, and fear.   The emotions come in waves, and you have to ride each wave all the way.  True happiness eventually comes, although it takes some time.

Warning: Don’t be fooled by immediate feelings of happiness due to new-found free time. Happiness is fickle and will make you feel giddy one minute, then crash down around you the next.  Heaven forbid you are hormonal at the same time.

It’s Work.  And you thought your job was full of pressure?  Try full-time job searching and networking, not to mention keeping track of who you’ve spoken with and which companies you’ve applied to.  If you’re like me and add consulting or part time work to your schedule, it’s really busy!  The calendar of coffee dates alone is enough to drive you nuts. Of course that might just be the caffeine talking.  I’ve found it best to stick to decaf.

It’s Filled with Uncertainty.  Financial uncertainty for sure – duh, that should go without saying.  Then there’s the bigger question of “When will I find another job?” Because that, of course, plays into the financial uncertainty.

This is followed closely by a series of questions designed to keep you awake at night with your stomach in knots.   “What kind of job?” “At what point should I just take any job?” “How low do I have to go when it comes to salary?”  “Will I have to move to another city?”  Sometimes this uncertainty takes a nap during daylight, only to return when you are ready to sleep. It’s a vicious cycle.

One thing is certain: a job loss is life-changing.  Hopefully it changes you for the better. Just remember that there’s more to unemployment that losing a job.

Come on Everybody Let’s do the Samba

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When Hubby and I were laid-off, one of our first concerns was staying healthy. We didn’t want to end up as couch potatoes eating countless bags of chips all day while watching TV talk shows focused on Baby Mama Drama. Tempting, I know. Who doesn’t want to watch strangers air their dirty laundry?

Hubby focused on exercise like he was training for the Olympics. A fan of the at-home exercise DVD, he would sweat out daily workouts with the dog. Well, Hubby did all the sweating. The dog played the role of the coach. Similarly, when I was laid-off I took advantage of the daytime classes offered at the gym. It was a great way to break the monotony of searching for a job. Besides, I wanted to see who all these people were who could spend the day at the gym.

Now that we are both working again our exercise routines have slipped. Combine that with the fact that our favorite yoga instructor decided to take a dream job teaching at a spa in Costa Rica (hard to believe, I know), and we are finding it difficult to stay motivated.

While searching for alternative ways to exercise, I stumbled upon a dance studio that included classes for adults – that don’t involve a pole. Perfect, I thought! I used to be a dancer; this is just what I need to jump start my exercise program. Scanning the options, it was hard to choose. There’s Zumba, but I had done that before and was not impressed. Hip Hop sounded fun but I had a schedule conflict; even Bollywood sounded interesting. But it was the Samba class that spoke to me, calling my name. I imagined picking up the steps easily, my body becoming toned with abs of steel like the pros on Dancing with the Stars. Yep, that was the class for me.

I showed up a bit early and the instructor asked if I was ready for this. “It’s going to be difficult since this is your first class. Are you sure you are ready?” she said. What? Who does she think I am? Of course I’m ready! “Bring it!” I boldly stated.

I took a place in the back of the room, not wanting to show off too much. After all, these younger women may not have had the same dance training that I had many years ago. The music started and a gentleman with beautiful long hair that most women would envy instantly began an aerobics routine that was high-impact on steroids. No problem, I thought. I can do this, although it’s not exactly dancing.

Suddenly the music changed and without any instruction everyone began wildly dancing to certain eight count combinations. Didn’t matter if they were eight or sixteen count to me; I was just trying to watch the instructors’ feet to figure out what to do. And silly me; I was thinking Samba as seen on DWTS, more of a ballroom dance. This was Samba for single people who are regulars on the club scene, dancing until the wee hours and still getting up in time for work.

The guy with the pretty hair stopped and the woman instructor started. Not fair, I thought! They get to tag-team and take a break from the frenetic pace of this so-called dance. Still believing in myself I moved my hips, feet, arms and legs as fast as possible, actually keeping up with the class. You’ve still got it girl, I thought to myself. Never mind that the only word I could understand through their thick accents was “Samba”; I had figured out that this word was the signal to move your feet faster than the speed of light. Not sure if I was actually doing the right steps but I was moving.

Just as I was beginning to get the hang of the dance and shaking everything I’ve got, I felt a “snap” under my shirt. Hmmm, wonder what that was? I kept dancing and moving and shaking, until I realized that my bra had snapped and I was indeed shaking all over. Mortified, I Samba’d my way off the dance floor, searching for a bathroom to try and remedy the situation.

Back on the dance floor I continued to move and shake and shimmy while hoping my bra held up. Finally the music stopped. Every cheered “Samba” and I was invigorated from this class. Who am I kidding? I was exhausted, drenched in sweat and my face was the color of a lobster. My hair was so wet I looked as though I’d taken a swimming class instead.

“Are you staying for the next class?” the instructor asked. “Uh, maybe not this time,” I stammered and I tried to steady myself enough to walk. Once home, Hubby looked up as I came through the door. Noticing my red face and drenched hair, he asked “How was the class? Looks like it was a good workout.”

Little does he know, huh? I challenged him to try the class and see if he could move and shake like the guy with the long hair. Hubby didn’t say a word. He knew better. And he also knew that he would have to help me out of bed the next morning so I could Samba my way into work.

It’s hard to stay in shape, isn’t it?