Minimalism Meets Pandemic Pandemonium

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Hubby and I picked a bad time to practice living with less, having sold our home of almost 2,800 square feet two years ago, downsizing to an apartment of approximately 750 square feet.

This temporary living arrangement, while fun when things are “normal”, could not have collided with a worse time in our history. The entire concept of downsizing – minimalism – pretty much dictates no stockpiling. In fact, it mandates tough decisions be made when it comes to keeping anything that we previously thought had value.

In order to make this work, we Marie-Kondo’d ourselves silly, selling or donating most of our furniture as well as mass quantities of other stuff. We had 3 strict rules:

  1. The item had to be so meaningful that we knew it would have a place in the new, smaller house we are building
  2. It would have a place in the tiny apartment OR we were willing to pay to store it
  3. We valued it enough to pay to move it – twice

Very few items made the cut.

Honestly, we’ve enjoyed the small apartment with minimal belongings. Having only one toilet has some serious drawbacks but we’ve managed.

Then came March 13th. Forced Social Distancing.

The first time we realized our minimalist lifestyle just might not mix with a pandemic. It was our “wheels off the bus” moment, or “Minimalism Meets Pandemic Pandemonium.”

That understanding of Hubby’s first “forced” work day from home, when his office was no longer accessible even if he begged to enter.

His innovative solution? Create a desk out of TV trays a mere 6’ from my desk.

Let’s just say the non-stop conference calls and interactive Zoom meetings were a lot for this creative writer who’s used to working at home. Alone.

If we were a Donny and Marie song it would be, “He’s a little bit noisy, I’m a little bit shut the F^%$ up”

Noise-cancelling headphones? Why would I have those? I’m usually the only one here.

Supplies on hand, like groceries? Have you seen an apartment-sized refrigerator? I’m positive ours could fit inside almost any home-sized refrigerator. That means we shop frequently, with a tape measure, carefully considering how much we can fit inside the “ice box.”

Imagine my shocked expression in the grocery store when I saw empty shelves for the first time. No meat, peanut butter or sliced bread. As I wandered the aisles racking my brain to think of recipes calling for beef, peanut butter and sliced bread, it occurred to me “This is why people need toilet paper!” That concoction would have me in the bathroom too.

Cleaning products? Puhlease. Why would I stock up for an apartment that takes me less than an hour to clean, even at its worst? Besides, where would I store that stuff? We are rationing the one canister of bleach wipes and using our right brains for creative cleaning solutions.  Honestly, the counters have never smelled so fruity and been so well-conditioned, as shampoo is soap, amiright?

One thing we do have stock of is toilet paper and paper towels. That’s because we are too lazy to remember to purchase these items on a regular basis and of course we don’t want to run out. Bulk-buying habit left-over from the house.

Take that, minimalism!

Face masks, which by themselves have nothing to do with minimalism, except now they are sold out everywhere and we are supposed to make them ourselves from items “found around the house”. I’m not one to prepare for a Zombie apocalypse and we hire painters so face masks are just not something we have on-hand.

But making them? The internet tells me it’s easy to make a face mask with hair ties or rubber bands and a scarf. Ha! My hair has been above-my-ears short since college and rubber bands were deemed “non-essential” when we moved. See the 3 rules mentioned earlier.

At one point we had real “Survivor” Buffs, the kind worn on the show. Of course, we can’t find them now and fear they may have been Marie-Kondo’d along with rest of our stuff.

Minimalism, I tell ya.

This pandemic is in direct conflict with our attempt at a minimalist lifestyle. We were doing so well at living with less, having weaned ourselves from senseless saving of items that just take up space. Now it seems like all of those hair ties from high school I finally threw in the garbage are haunting me. And I’m having flashbacks to those weeks when we cleaned out Every. Single. Drawer. and Cabinet, wondering if we tossed something that could be essential today.

What about the prom dress that I finally tossed, despite my joy at being able to still zip it up? Could that have been useful somehow?

Could we have MacGyvered Hubby’s fave cappuccino maker, the one with an inch of dust from sitting at the top of the pantry?

The big question: Is this the end of minimalism for us? Will we revert back to closets full of non-essential items “just in case we need them”, all because of this pandemic experience?

I certainly hope not.

The one thing that is certain: we will have separate offices.

#SocialMediaFail

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I’ve got a confession to make. One that embarrasses me.

I realized that I am “one of those people”. You know; the kind who “has people”. 

No, I don’t have an entourage, although I guess that could be interesting for about an hour before it got in the way.

What’s happened to me is the same thing that happens to most of us who have worked our way up the corporate ladder. The higher you go, the more you deal in over-arching strategy and planning, with less time on the tactics for execution.

That’s where my “people” come in.  It’s to the point where I lead and oversee the big-picture; my team takes care of the implementation.

Nothing wrong with that, right? Isn’t that what we all strive for in our careers?

Problem for me is that this goes against my management style.  I prefer to know how to perform the tactics so I can say to my team, “I’m not asking you to do anything that I won’t do myself”.  Plus it’s a good idea to know how to do things in case someone comes down with the flu and I have to step in.

Yet in today’s environment of working very lean, I’ve had to accept the fact that I must rely on my team to handle certain things.

And I’ve come to enjoy it.  We all have our areas of expertise, making for one kick-ass team.

Even when I work for myself, I have a team of hired individuals.  Now, though, I am at a cross-road where I am stepping out on my own even more and, for a short period, will not have my team to support me with social media.

My initial reaction was positive. 

1) This is a great time for me to “walk the walk” by learning the tactics; and 2) I know the theory and have been using social media personally for years; how hard could this be?

Apparently it’s more difficult than I anticipated.

I knew from experience that social media marketing is time consuming. Some corporate execs seem to think that it’s a quick little thing someone does during lunch and should not take much time. LOL!

There’s strategy and research and memes and scheduling.  There’s actually research that has been done as to the optimal number of Facebook posts and Tweets for a given day to drive awareness and traffic.

I consulted with my very smart colleague, Noah, who had been working on my social media scheduling for a quick lesson.  As with most things, it sounded so simple when we talked.

Do this, click that, copy this, paste that. It’s really quite simple, he assured me, with all of his two years of work experience behind him.

See, he’s still early enough in his career to not have the luxury of a team. He is the team.

I thanked him and hung up the phone feeling brave and started researching, convinced that I could handle this very easily.  After all, I am not new to social media.

My goal was to schedule one month of posts and Tweets. I got down to business.

How hard could this be?

Like Beethoven working on a great composition, I researched, posted, cut, pasted, Tweeted and scheduled. It was awesome. I was going to be a social media rock-star.

After about six hours of trying to schedule one months’ worth of Tweets and posts, what did I have to show for my efforts?

Three lousy days.  #socialmediafail

Somewhere between “Awesome” and “Rock Star” I realized I was that person; the one who knows strategy but can’t figure out the tactics. The person who has “people”.

That was not only embarrassing, but eye-opening.

When did this happen? I used to be the person who “knew everything”.  Of course that’s before I had “people”.

Sigh. I will figure this out. But I need my people more than I want to admit.

A Phone Call Changes Everything

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The past week has been tough; it always is when a loved one is in the hospital.  The post below is a rerun from 2013 and it’s similar to what I’m going through now.  This is a great reminder of what’s really important, even when work is swirling out of control or we’ve had a bad day at the office.

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It’s usually not a good thing when the phone rings before 8:00 am.  Mom sounded nervous, telling me she didn’t feel well.  Hubby and I raced her to the doctor, and then to the ER.  Losing feeling and movement in any part of your body is not good.

Tests were started in the ER and when it was determined her condition was stable, we transferred to a room and waited while they took more tests.  And waited, and waited….

The waiting seemed so long.  My only solace was texting Hubby who had gone to work, or watching TV, scrolling through Facebook or playing solitaire.  I had rushed out of the house that morning with just my handbag and phone; thank goodness I had a charger with me.

The good news is that her hand showed improvement within hours.  Bad news is that this happened on a Friday and weekends are definitely not a good time to be in a hospital – ask anyone who’s been there.  Skeleton staff makes it almost impossible to get tests done and read.   Not sure why they don’t have a full team that works weekends too.  Illness doesn’t take a holiday.

More good news; mom is improving and is now at our house.  Her hand, while not 100%, continues to show signs of improvement.  Tests revealed no major issues.  This was clearly a fluke, and she was lucky.

I had lots of time to think during those days in the hospital.  Too much time, in fact.  Thinking about mom, wondering how I’m going to help her without taking independence away; how am I going to “not worry” about her?  It’s sobering to realize that her life – my life – changed with one phone call.

What I didn’t think about during this time was work.  Funny how that happens.  I had worked late for three nights leading up to this, completely stressed-out about things. While I was sitting in the hospital, I honestly couldn’t tell you what I had been working on that week or why it had seemed so important.

A phone call, that’s all it took to get perspective.  Suddenly I would have given anything to simply be stressed out from work.  That would be easy.  Sitting in a hospital with your loved one is not.

There’s not even any hospital drama or shenanigans like you see on Grey’s Anatomy.  At least that would have been a distraction!  Where’s a hot doctor when you need one? And the Grey’s Anatomy hospital seems to be fully staffed every day and at all hours.  Hardly real-life.

So what’s my point?  I guess I don’t really have a fun business story today.  Except to say that wherever you are in your career – happy with work, not happy, laid off and looking – remember to keep work in perspective.  It’s important, but other things are more important.

One phone call is all it takes to change your life in an instant.  And trust me, you won’t care anymore about work, the stress, the pay, the coworkers, the clients – anything.

4 Things To Help At Home Workers Get Back In the Groove After The Holidays

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The hardest part of the holidays? Going back to work.

The alarm clock. The traffic. The piles of papers greeting you, the ones left on your desk as you scrambled out the door for the holidays.  The thousands of emails that somehow filled your inbox while everyone was supposed to be on vacation.

Doesn’t anyone understand what “vacation” means anymore?

Going back to work is grueling for all of us but can be particularly difficult for those of us who work from home. We have nowhere to escape to; no colleagues to commiserate with now that the holidays are over and it’s back to the ol’ grind.

Once again the separation of Home and Work becomes blurred.  Especially if we have yet to de-decorate and our home still “feels” like Christmas. What we face is that holiday ho-hum feeling that seeps into our work space.

I will share the situation I faced, which is probably similar to many who work from home:

  • Leftover holiday treats called out to me from the kitchen, tempting me to walk away from my work.
  • Empty gift boxes were stacked in the living room that needed to go to the trash.
  • The Christmas DVD’s were still on the coffee table from recent viewing.
  • And the tree! It was still up, decorated, in all its glory.

Not to mention the outside décor.  Even though I rarely venture out to the front of the house, I knew it was there.

Situations like this call for tough love.  Here are four things people who work from home should do to get back in the groove after the holidays:

Take down the tree. 

This is the most time consuming, yet the most rewarding and best way to feel like Christmas has left the building.  I put it off yet once I got started it only took me an hour to remove the ornaments and pack them away.  Yes, we like to think a lighted tree can be considered a “desk lamp” but it really is a distraction. Do. It. Now.

Remove All Remaining Holiday Décor. 

While you’ve got the spirit, go ahead and box up the rest of the holiday décor.  This seemed daunting to me, yet again took only another hour once I started. Move all of the boxes back to their storage place – or at least to another room where you can’t see them.

Put the holiday cards in a box. 

These tempt me to stop working and re-read them, so “out of sight, out of mind”.  Note that I didn’t say “trash them” – unless of course you have already reviewed them and noted address changes. I haven’t done that, so I put mine in a box for later review – I do that while watching mindless TV like “The Bachelor”.  But they are out of sight for now.

Hide the Christmas candy and treats.

The treats call to me when I’m working and distract me.  I have to be tough and throw out the items that I really don’t need, like or want to eat.  For example, the caramel corn from the treat tower – we still had last year’s package so my guess is we are not going to eat this year’s.   The rest is hidden from view in the pantry.  It’s better for my waistline and my productivity.

Total time spent:  Less than three hours.  That’s one morning – or less, depending on how early you start.

What are you waiting for?  Get started now so the rest of your week is productive!

Besides, Valentine’s Day will be here before you know it.

Five Things to Remember from College

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I love being on a college campus!

There’s an energy that permeates just about every building and walkway.  It’s fun to watch the students coming and going, stopping to study or engaged in conversations.  They are eager to learn and are busy outlining goals for their careers.

I remember feeling that way.

Just wish that type of interest/excitement/whatever-you-want-to-call-it would continue throughout our careers.

Something happens to us work veterans after years on the job. We tend to get bogged down in the details, becoming frustrated and sometimes disillusioned to the point of wanting to throw in the towel and open a pig farm to get away from it all.

Pigs?

I’m just brainstorming here. How hard could it be? Just feed them and shelter them; they seem to be happier dirty so no need to bathe them.   Downside is the natural odor that comes with a pig as well as litter-box issues.

You know I’m kidding, but I think you get my point.  We all have moments where we lack that college enthusiasm we once had.

If you find yourself frustrated and bogged down at work or lacking that level of excitement we once had, here are five things to remember from college that may help get you back on course:

  • Continue to learn. Just because we’ve left campus doesn’t mean we should stop learning. It’s good for our brains and brings a sense of accomplishment when we’re through.  Not to mention it’s great for the resume.
  • Work with intention.  I remember being so intent on doing well for my classes that I developed almost laser-like focus to achieve a good grade.  We should do the same at work; think of how much we would accomplish!  Maybe we’ll even get a raise, if not a gold star on our Power Point presentation.  At least we can go home knowing we did our best.
  • Focus on what’s important. In school, we all had dreams and aspirations that helped us focus on the prize – getting an A, receiving a diploma and getting a job.  While we won’t get a diploma from work, by setting work-related goals we can focus on what’s truly important for us at our jobs.
  • Make new friends (network).  This was easy at school since we met other students all the time.  It’s a bit more difficult out in the work force but equally as important. Whether it’s networking, making new friends or even keeping up with old friends, make time to reach out and touch someone.
  • Look toward the future with optimism.  With our careers wide open and out in front of us, in school we were excited to jump into the future.  As our careers progress, we sometimes get so overwhelmed with the here and now that we forget that each day is building on our future.  No matter where you are in your career, try to maintain some of that fresh-out-of-school optimism. It’s amazing how good you’ll feel at work.

I’m going to continue to visit a college campus periodically to feel energized to learn and optimistic about the future – my future.

Without pigs.

Quitting Is Not An Option

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Well, that was embarrassing.

My favorite team lost the game. Actually, it was a blow-out. I believe the technical phrase for what happened is “It was a clinic”.

We were schooled. On national TV.

I don’t even think those were our players on the field.  They must have been imposters wearing our uniforms.

That would have been a best-case scenario.

I’m sure that was a long ride home for the team. My guess is that the coach had some “motivational” words for the players.  Perhaps they had to watch the game on the ride home to see just exactly where things went so horribly wrong.

Yes, I’m sure this week is probably one of the worst for every player. Here’s what I’m guessing:

  • Players do not want to walk across campus; no reason to hold their head up.
  • Not one player wants to sit in class while others stare at him.
  • Many players may want to throw in the towel; give up.

Yes, bombing out is embarrassing.

One thing I do know: Neither the coach nor the team will give up.

Quitting is not an option.

So they will review the tapes. They will run drills. They might make some player changes. They will study plays like preparing for final exams.

They will practice like never before.

They will win again, proving to themselves and to everyone else that they are a good team.

All I’ve got to say is, thank goodness my work mistakes are not watched by millions on national TV.

That said, I’m guessing that most of us, at one point or another, have experienced the “agony of defeat” – or at least feeling defeated – at work.

Maybe the project you were leading missed its’ goal and you wanted to throw in the towel?

Perhaps the annual review wasn’t quite as stellar as you thought it should be and figured, why bother to try anymore?

Or maybe you just had a bad day or week and simply wanted a do-over?

It’s hard to walk back into the office feeling defeated, wondering if others are whispering behind their cubicles about “Project Fail”.

We all have bad days, weeks or projects. I get it. Your desk, your “home away from home”, the place where it “all went wrong”, can be depressing to see.

Even if the “oops” is something that only we know about, we can internalize the error to the point of being unproductive, sometimes wanting to hang our heads in defeat.

What do you do after such a fail?

  • Take the constructive comments from management and figure out how using that information might have helped.
  • Write a quick “post-mortem”, including the original project goals, strategies and tactics, as well as the final outcome. Include a list of “Take-Aways”; things you learned and what you would do different next time.
  •  File this document where you can find it.
  • Now, smile, and hold your head up.

Thing is, we are usually tougher on ourselves than others are on us. Sure, no one likes to “lose”, whether it’s on the playing field or at work.

What’s important is that we determine where we made mistakes, correct those mistakes and move on. Next time, the project – or game – should have a different outcome.

Quitting is not an option.

 

Career Smacks

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“Smoothie of the day?” said the male voice.  I looked up from my chaise in the shaded cabana, romance novel in one hand.  “Of course!” I replied.   Hubby and I looked at each other and sighed.  Every hour, on the hour, a uniformed cabana host came around the pool offering guests a variety of treats.  They even offered to clean our sunglasses.

Yes, Hubby and I live a luxurious life.

On vacation, that is.

Each summer we spend a week in a luxurious parallel universe, one that allows us to pretend that we are “somebody”; one in which we are waited on hand and foot.

Many wonder why we do this.  We wonder why others don’t do this.

Our philosophy? If we can’t live this way year ‘round, we can certainly live this way for one glorious week.

And really, why not? We work hard. We usually take only one vacation a year.  So it had better be good.

Similar to waiting for Christmas when we were kids, Hubby and I wait for this trip all year. Literally. Less than 48 hours after arriving home and we already start planning for next year.

Arriving at the resort is ecstasy and departing is pure anguish; sometimes downright embarrassing. I “might” have shed a tear or two.  Okay, I openly sobbed as Hubby tried to pry my fingers off of the chaise as the sun disappeared over the horizon our last day.

No matter how long we stay it’s never enough.  Perhaps we need to re-think our at-home relaxation strategy so we are not upset at leaving?

Yet we know that at some point we must return home, back to the “real world”.

This time, we tried to prepare for re-entry.  We talked about a couple weekend trips planned for the fall.

Hubby and I swore on our pool-side smoothies that we would book one of our every-other-year “adventure” vacations.  We even pinky-swore that we would return to our favorite luxury resort for a long weekend this winter.

We departed feeling a bit better and less disappointed about returning home to our responsibilities.

As we deplaned we joked about the “re-entry” time, saying it doesn’t take long to get back to reality.

Folks, it takes exactly twenty-seven minutes.  That’s scientific.  It was the amount of time it took to deplane, get our bags, find our car and realize that we had a dead battery.

Nothing like the sound of “click-click-click” coming from the engine at 9:30 pm in a dark parking garage.

Sigh.

Smack!  That was the sound of reality, hitting us hard.  We tried to put on a brave face.  We tried to laugh at this sudden turn of events.  I tried not to cry.  We both tried
not to sweat in the hot parking garage.

Life is like that.  We plan, we prepare and even with our best intentions we can still get smacked in the face.

Yet this time was different.  Somehow both Hubby and I were able to keep the dead battery incident in perspective.

Instead of crying, I looked at Hubby and we both started to laugh. Seeing the humor, I immediately posted on social media about our “re-entry” debacle.

As luck would have it, a good friend saw my post and came to our rescue with cold water and jumper cables.

Just like that, we were back on track.

Similarly, at some point our career will smack us in the face.  It could be the promotion that got away, or an unexpected department shuffle, or something as serious as a job loss.  We can’t control it.  But we can control how we react to these “career smacks”.

Plan what you can, such as maintaining an up-to-date resume.  If your career does smack you, try to put things in perspective.  Reach out to your contacts for help.  You never know who might be available.

As for Hubby and me, one dead battery was no match for us.  We are already planning another trip.  And next time we’ll have a spare battery in the car, just in case.

Goodbye, Blockbuster!

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There are times when the sun, moon and stars all align in perfect combination, a time when things go just right.  It could be a chance meeting with that special someone; the day on the golf course with the unbelievable hole-in-one; the too-good-to-be-true designer handbag bargain that makes you the envy of friends.

It’s kind of like having the much sought-after “it” factor on American Idol.  There’s really no preparation for this, and when someone asks about it you can’t explain it.

A few of us are fortunate enough to experience such celestial alignment during our career, and I count myself lucky to be one of those people.

As with most things, I didn’t realize how great it was until it was over.  I accepted the job because it was a good opportunity with a major brand.  We were a tight-knit group despite being a large corporation.  Lots of smart people who liked to have fun at work too.  Didn’t matter that we worked long hours; we enjoyed our jobs and working together.  It was awesome.

I’ve moved on to other things now and haven’t worked at the company in a few years, yet it’s hitting me hard to see the “Store Closing” signs on one of the few remaining locations.  I went inside for one last walk down memory lane.

A mix of emotions came flooding over me.  While the décor had a garage-sale vibe, in my mind I pictured walking through a beautifully decorated store with the executive team as we discussed our ideas for a new promotion.  I remembered that every Tuesday was exciting because new movies arrived.  Real excitement came with the midnight release parties when people would line up for hours to be the first to purchase a new movie or game.

Or when a star would come to the corporate office and we could have pictures taken.  I remember one such star arrived with a dog. The dog decided to explore the office on his own and wound up at my desk.  A bit smelly and slobbery, but it was a nice distraction.

Friends and industry leaders laughed at the company and our desire to work there.  The movie industry that we supported even poked fun – who can forget the film “Be Kind, Rewind”? Sometimes it was tough to hold our heads up, but we did.  They didn’t understand the “it” factor we all knew about.  

It was an unusual business in many ways.  When bad news or bad weather came, our business boomed.  Amazing that people who were unable to drive to work due to all kinds of weather could somehow make it to our stores for movies and popcorn.

I know what you’re thinking.  Who cares? It was just a job with an outdated business model.  Besides, everything is digital nowadays.

Things may be digital – which, by the way, the company offered – yet so much of the experience can’t be replicated through digital means.  And as a work place, we were family.

Was this the only good place to work?  Of course not! There are other great companies out there with awesome teams and cultures.  I just hope wherever you are, that you’ll take a moment to look around and be thankful for whatever it is your current company offers as an “it” factor.

Goodbye, Blockbuster!  Sad to see you go, old friend.

A Phone Call Changes Everything

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It’s usually not a good thing when the phone rings before 8:00 am.  Mom sounded nervous, telling me she didn’t feel well.  Hubby and I raced her to the doctor, and then to the ER.  Losing feeling and movement in any part of your body is not good.

Tests were started in the ER and when it was determined her condition was stable, we transferred to a room and waited while they took more tests.  And waited, and waited….

The waiting seemed so long.  My only solace was texting Hubby who had gone to work, or watching TV, scrolling through Facebook or playing solitaire.  I had rushed out of the house that morning with just my handbag and phone; thank goodness I had a charger with me.

The good news is that her hand showed improvement within hours.  Bad news is that this happened on a Friday and weekends are definitely not a good time to be in a hospital – ask anyone who’s been there.  Skeleton staff makes it almost impossible to get tests done and read.   Not sure why they don’t have a full team that works weekends too.  Illness doesn’t take a holiday.

More good news; mom is improving and is now at our house.  Her hand, while not 100%, continues to show signs of improvement.  Tests revealed no major issues.  This was clearly a fluke, and she was lucky.

I had lots of time to think during those days in the hospital.  Too much time, in fact.  Thinking about mom, wondering how I’m going to help her without taking independence away; how am I going to “not worry” about her?  It’s sobering to realize that her life – my life – changed with one phone call.

What I didn’t think about during this time was work.  Funny how that happens.  I had worked late for three nights leading up to this, completely stressed-out about things. While I was sitting in the hospital, I honestly couldn’t tell you what I had been working on that week or why it had seemed so important.

A phone call, that’s all it took to get perspective.  Suddenly I would have given anything to simply be stressed out from work.  That would be easy.  Sitting in a hospital with your loved one is not.

There’s not even any hospital drama or shenanigans like you see on Grey’s Anatomy.  At least that would have been a distraction!  Where’s a hot doctor when you need one? And the Grey’s Anatomy hospital seems to be fully staffed every day and at all hours.  Hardly real-life.

So what’s my point?  I guess I don’t really have a fun business story today.  Except to say that wherever you are in your career – happy with work, not happy, laid off and looking – remember to keep work in perspective.  It’s important, but other things are more important.

One phone call is all it takes to change your life in an instant.  And trust me, you won’t care anymore about work, the stress, the pay, the coworkers, the clients – anything.

Love Me; Love My Personality

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My first job outside of babysitting was at McDonalds.  It was a dream job for me at that time in my life – a teenager working at a fast-food restaurant, with free meals.  Heaven!

My biggest challenge at this job, aside from the fact that I was not even five feet tall and looked like I was twelve, was that I was shy and unsure of myself. McDonalds needed outgoing and confident. 

In an attempt to mold me into the model employee, the manager had me stand a good distance back from the register watching for the front door to open.  As soon as a customer set one foot in the door, I had to shout, “Welcome to McDonalds! May I take your order?” 

While no one was particularly upset with this aggressive approach, I did encounter a few snickers as customers were hoping to actually get inside before being pressured into making a burger decision that could affect the rest of their day.

At my first job out of grad school, I had to learn to become even more decisive and assertive as I took charge of my department.

Neither of these jobs really changed my personality – I actually already had it in me; I just needed the confidence to find my voice.

And find my voice I did.  As I gained experience and matured, my personality came out of its shell.  Gone is the girl who was too shy to say much in the halls at high school, letting others take the lead;  she’s been replaced with a woman who is not afraid to introduce herself to strangers, state her opinions, take charge and make decisions.

Those who know me now think I’ve always been this way, shouting hamburger greetings to customers before they step in the door.

My confident and assertive personality characteristics have served me well in life as well as my career.  In fact it’s one of the reasons I am hired.

Yet there are times when I feel pressure to modify my personality – especially at work – in an attempt to match the expectations of others.  Those around me want my personality and all that comes with it; they just want it to appear only when it serves them best.

I’ve got to say that this doesn’t work for me.  And believe me, I’ve tried.  It’s as though what makes me “me” is valued only as long as it can be tweaked

In this day and age it seems like everyone wants a lukewarm personality; one that’s neither hot nor cold, but watered down.  More passive than assertive; one that’s always trying to say or do or be what others expect of them.

That’s like walking on eggshells to me, trying to figure out the right words for fear of being received the wrong way.   The result?  At best, unclear communications; at worst, employees who are afraid of being themselves and showing their true personality.

Why can’t we just be ourselves, with the personality package that the employer wanted in the first place? You know, “Love me, love my personality”?

I started noticing this trend some years ago and hoped it was just the company I was at or possibly a phase.  Unfortunately it’s becoming the norm.

Not sure if it’s the result of the millennial generation who never heard the word “no”, with every person receiving praise and a trophy no matter how poorly they performed, or if it’s just our culture evolving because we are too afraid to say what we mean (in an appropriate tone, of course) for fear of being politically “incorrect”.

Whatever it is, I long for the days of direct communication without fear.  How great would it be to know that it’s okay to be stern, happy, serious, excited, frustrated, and even, if the situation warrants, mad, at the office?  

Like my first job at McDonald’s, it’s time to remove the gloves and allow everyone to show off their true personalities.

Maybe we’d rediscover clear communication if we were allowed to express ourselves.  Wouldn’t that be something?