The Girl And The New Job Decision

I had a big decision to make.  The magnitude of this decision weighed heavily on me, my head spinning as I ran through the options in my mind.

This seemed to be a great time to enlist the advice of trusted friends.  So I took a poll.

Do I cut my hair short, or continue to let it grow?

Yes, this was a major decision. To cut my hair or not.  After all, it takes a super long time to grow it out. Clearly this was a first-world problem, but it was important to me nonetheless.

To be clear, when it comes to my hair I’m not afraid of change. I’ve had it so long I could sit on it and so short it was almost a buzz-cut, and everything in between.

After all, it’s just hair and it does grow back.  I become very courageous in the stylist’s chair, proclaiming, “Do whatever you want!”  Most of the time, I’m lucky and walk out of the salon with an uber-stylish new ‘do.

Yet we all know that one miss-snip of the shears and we can be left with a hot mess.  And having bad hair is a downer every second of every day until it grows out.

This time I was on the fence with my decision, having spent the last year growing my hair.  It was time for a consultation. Not sure why I felt the need to get a focus group together for something as simple as a haircut.

Clearly my mind had been playing tricks on me, confusing my work projects with personal projects.

In the end, the decision was mine.  Didn’t matter what the focus group said; it’s my hair and I had to feel good about it.  Besides, there was no clear consensus among focus group participants. Shocker.

The problem with involving too many people in the decision process is just that we all have different opinions.  It may be that we really don’t want to hear the opinions of others; we may simply want validation for a decision that we’ve already made in our head.

Same thing is true for a new job decision.  We need to decide for ourselves what is best for us.

It’s okay to have a trusted advisor or two to provide an outside, objective opinion and strategic counsel.  We don’t want to make a job decision that’s based on emotion; sometimes we get so fired up about a job that we’re too close to the situation to be objective.

But the advisor’s job should be simply to provide a sounding board.  No interjecting their own biases as if they were the ones standing in your shoes.

Don’t get me wrong; friends want to help and think they have our best interests in mind.  Yet they don’t really know everything about our situation.

I’ve made this mistake before, consulting others about a new job decision.

Once, when I had to make a difficult decision to leave one job in pursuit of something totally different, a former colleague offered unsolicited advice about my decision.  And it was not pretty. This person said I was making a mistake, along with some other opinions about my career.

While I understood why my colleague would consider it a mistake for her family and financial situation, she failed to understand that my situation was very different from hers.

That was pretty much a “friend fail”, in my mind.  Note that this “advice” didn’t help me, nor did I change my mind.  It momentarily caused me to question myself – which is never good – yet ultimately it was a good lesson. It reminded me that it’s my life and my career, and I have to live with the results.

Just like my hair.  Which I did cut short, by the way.  And I’m loving it.