I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Job hunting is a lot like dating. There’s the hunt for a strong connection, mutual goals and a personality fit before actually committing to each other for any length of time.
I’m now going to take this one step further and say that networking is like blind-dating. This seems to be especially true when it comes to using LinkedIn.
Random messages from prospective “dates” arrive in my inbox that say, “I’d like to add you to my professional network.”
These messages are auto-produced, without any thought given to the message. Apparently these people – who are strangers to me – are so desperate to make a connection that they have trolled LinkedIn looking for people to connect with, even if it’s ten degrees of separation.
The notes come without an explanation as to why I might want to connect with them, such as “We are both friends of Joe” or “We both worked together at XYZ”, or “I am in marketing and I would like to connect with other marketers” – anything that would remotely make sense.
You know what happens when I receive a blind-date from LinkedIn? I treat it with the same level of respect as a real date that had shown so little effort.
I ignore the request to connect.
Here’s the truth about networking: Networking is about building a relationship. Even blind-dating is done with the hopes of finding a spark that will build a relationship. But to get the spark, there first has to be some sort of conversation starter.
Simply sending the auto-generated “I’d like to add you to my LinkedIn network” is the worst mistake you can make when networking on LinkedIn.
It shows you have given zero thought to me as a possible connection. It tells me you’re lazy and you won’t give time to even try to establish small talk or begin a relationship.
Worst of all, without any relationship, you are nothing to me and I am nothing to you. There’s no way we can help each other. All we’ve done is pad our LinkedIn numbers in an attempt to show we’ve got tons of connections, albeit bad connections.
Networking takes work. It takes time. It’s not something that can be done by trolling LinkedIn and clicking a few auto-generated invitations.
The truth about networking is that it’s harder than dating. It’s harder than blind-dating. And that’s really, really, hard.
Like Tami, I was terminated once (By my best friend, BTW – he is now on the board of the agency I lead, so I got him back – ha!), but you don’t have to be unemployed to learn something from this book. 
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